I'm Dillon, Hi :D

1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile, I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining. 6. When you are confused, I will use little words. 7. When you are sick, stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have. 8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy a$$ and then think about helping your dumba$$ up. This is my oath. I pledge it till the end. Why, you may ask; because you are my "friend".