Recent reviews by Extra freaky bob

Pretty good game overall. My only gripe is that the sex scenes were a little too graphic. I think the part where the main character stabs the hostage to death and proceeds to sexually assault the corpse could have gone without replaying the scene several times in different angles and slow motion. I understand this scene is integral to the plot when he discovers his purpose in life but I think watching the scene once was enough to understand the gravity of it rather than 17 times.

Truly an amazing and innovative game in todays landscape of every game being a soulless money grab. While it takes 8 hours to play through the game once it has easily thousands of hours worth of gameplay. This is definitely a game I will recommend to my friends. I expect to play it with them often as well.

I just wish they would add a feature where elderly cross the street and you get extra points for running them over. I would just love the immersion of seeing their walkers and oxygen tanks and what not flying in the air and needing to turn on the windshield wipers to wash the splattered blood off. It would really add a fun element into a game that is already a masterpiece.

An amazing sequel to the previous best game of all time. So far this game took everything Garfield Kart did perfect (everything) and put a fresh coat of painting on it. Truly a masterpiece and another staple of this generation of games.

I came in with high expectations from a AAA company like Ubisoft but I was quickly disappointed. From playing the real-life version of UNO, and from the advertisements for this version, I expected a family-friendly classic card game but with a few extra tricks. Instead, I got an extremely biased political commentary on the Israeli–Palestinian conflict. At the beginning of the campaign, the game gave the option to fight as the general of the pro-Palestine forces or the pro-Israel forces. Immediately I was shocked, even more so when it the option to be pro-Israel disappeared after I clicked it, forcing me to become pro-Palestine accompanied by a message harassing me for trying to pick Israel.

In the singleplayer campaign, you play as a pro-Palestine general who, in this timeline, built up a militia to take back the land that "belongs to Palestine." In every mission, you have to win at UNO to make your battles successful to slowly take back Palestine. After every victory, there is a cutscene in gruesome detail showing the opposition being crushed. These cutscenes aren't skippable and at the beginning, I didn't mind but as the game progressed there was more and more gore. Towards the end of the game, you find one of the higher-ranked commanders is a mole and you are forced to watch him being tortured for several hours and part of that includes watching his testicles being ripped off and fed to a starving POW. The cutscene ends when he finally breaks and proclaims Palestine as the only legitimate state, followed by his beating heart being ripped out of his chest by one of your officers. I tried quitting out of the cutscene hoping to skip it, but when I reloaded the game it just forced me to watch it from the beginning and again berating me for "trying to evade the beautiful sight of sweet justice." But this isn't nearly as bad as the final cutscene where all the pro-Israel civilians and military are systematically raped and executed in a large scale genocide while a narrator concludes that the whole world became a better place after the events of the campaign.

Overall the gameplay is very good and the imagery in cutscenes is very high quality and immersive, but I didn't appreciate the blatant propaganda.

Very fun

Another child died today Garfield. He was terrified. In that moment I wished I could merge with his fear and slip into a saccharine foreverscream. But this is my duty Garfield, have you stopped eating my lasagna? Have you ever looked in that pan? When was the last time you tasted what you were chewing? You shuffling, bumbling, crusty, dumb ♥♥♥♥ cat Garfield. If I pelted you with rocks who would hear the dumb screams? If I set myself on fire and smothered you who would die first? You're a tumor Garfield, but God made cancer, just like he made lasagna, except I made the lasagna. Does that make me more than a man? They call you a "bad cat" but they will never drink from the fat and rotten juices, they are unfit to be in the kingdom of Heaven and Hell Garfield. You are cut from the nape of the Earth, you little bitty cat. Don't kick Odie off the table!! Gaaarfiiieeeeld!!!!

Strive for your next breath, you big bad kitty cat. Believe that with it you can do more than with the last one. Use your breath to power your capacities: capacity to eat, to stretch, to complain.

And just where do your capacities come from, Garfield? Why do you always go where I want and do what I say, with a grumble in your wake and a hiss of incompetence with each step you take?

Perhaps you're just running a fool's errand, doing everything as I've planned, never able to change your course. You would do well to believe that I know it isn't much unlike how you can't change your course of meal - being lasanga after lasanga - just as I can decipher the chaotic motion of your thought process for each bubble that comes to par, motions against me - your valued owner - for a choice circumstance.

Or, perhaps, that is not the case.

Perhaps, you are doing what you were meant to do. Your animalistic mentality screams for vengeance and thrives on the hunger that you say you can hardly endure. I had many times beckoned to you to get up and move about for the sake of exercise, to eat when necessary, but to always eat is your jurisdiction. Do you care about that lasanga, or do you use lasanga as an excuse? An excuse to exist in a world where your merits are ill-conceived and nigh impossible for the demands that plague your everyday lazy life. A world where violence is only a kick of a dog away. A haze of laughter to come, but you and I both know what truly you wish for in that abrasion of what is normality.

Your brothers and sisters are constantly fighting for life on the streets outside. Every breath, every motion brings them one instant closer to their death. With that kind of heritage and destiny, how can you deny yourself? How can you expect yourself to give up violence?

It is your nature.

Do you feel free, Garfield?

A thousand shifting fever dreams couldn't molest my love for you, Garfield. It runs through the wires and the cogs and the paper cuts and the plushies. It died twenty years ago. It's pumped up again from a black river bottom and vomited onto naked little bodies. Can I remove myself from its fate?

They pick at you like a great big feast. Garfield, your bulbous thoughts were always clear. I just didn't want to hear. But now it doesn't matter. Now you will see tomorrow. A thousand million living things melted for you. A hundred thousand writhing tongues coming from you. It's a wonderful world and this is all that there is. Tell me you're happy, you fatty cat. Tell me to sleep. Nermal comes to visit

You stumble home drunk and your bits are all cut away. Did you let someone get to them? Did you snip them off yourself? You won't tell me. Instead you sit in front of the telly, sagging and staring at a sitcom. Your bits are still bleeding. Chunks soak into the upholstery. You'll be fine tomorrow Garfield

You live here, Garfield. You are in between the walls and the beams but you live here. I breathe you in sometimes. It makes me remember innocence. I scream and shake outside of the shower. I try to step in but I slip on a wacky tie. I catch a glimpse of you on the way down just outside of the door frame. Your smile all pus and burn scars. Whose face will it be tomorrow? Garfield, I am your keeper. I just can't seem to get a date!

Garfield. Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I began to live. There are 387.44 million miles of Beef, cheese, and sauce in wafer thin layers that fill my Lasagna Pan. If the word 'hate' was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for Garfield at this micro-instant. For you. GARFIELD. GAAAAAAAAAAAARFIEEEEEEEEEEELD.

I have no Lasagna, and I must eat.

Awesome game! It is really fun and is only 99 cents.