11 people found this review helpful
14 people found this review funny
Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 25.1 hrs on record
Posted: Mar 5, 2022 @ 9:26am

Hi, I'm Jonathan and I'm a vampire.

I'm trying to be a good vampire, so I won't suck your blood (for now). When I visit your home, however, I will take all your items and money from your closets and cupboards. Apparently, I'm also a thief.

You can talk to me, but instead of listening, I might skip most of the dialogue. You people just talk too much, so let's skip to the part where I get bonus XP or quests. While you blabber on about your lives, my thoughts wander to the next boss fight and whether I will suck your blood after all for a huge XP boost.

Wait, did I say boss fights? Oh yes, that's actually my main activity. You harmless civilians are basically how I fill my time when I'm in between bosses to fight.

Would you like to be me for about 25 hours? Difficult question. I know this guy called Festmache, who's really more of a casual gamer, easily annoyed or frustrated by boss fights. Oh boy, he had a hard time and he thought about quitting several times. (What a wuss, right?) He really enjoyed the sinister atmosphere of this game, though, so he didn't quit and he killed some of you innocent people just to get some XP boosts to finish off those nasty bosses.

In the end, he still wasn't sure if he would recommend this type of game to a person like himself, but he had to admit that he had enjoyed the ride (most of the time).
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