eilo's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2021 @ 8:16am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Jun 27, 2017 @ 2:42am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Jun 27, 2017 @ 8:04am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2021 @ 11:10am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Jun 27, 2017 @ 7:44am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Jun 27, 2017 @ 1:12am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2021 @ 8:19am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 4:47am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 8:45am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Jul 18, 2021 @ 5:39am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 5:24am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 6:36am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked Jul 16, 2021 @ 2:42am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 9:48am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked Jul 16, 2021 @ 2:42am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked Jun 27, 2017 @ 8:17am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 4:12am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked Jul 16, 2021 @ 2:42am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked Jul 15, 2021 @ 12:23pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2021 @ 8:34am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 9:14am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 9:15am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked Jul 18, 2021 @ 8:35am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked Jul 18, 2021 @ 8:16am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 4:42am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 3:26am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked Jul 18, 2021 @ 2:33am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 6:38am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 6:30am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Jul 18, 2021 @ 8:18am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked Jun 27, 2017 @ 8:04am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 5:39am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Jun 27, 2017 @ 7:58am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 3:18am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked Jul 16, 2021 @ 1:37am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2021 @ 8:30am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 9:01am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2021 @ 8:09am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Jun 27, 2017 @ 7:53am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked Jul 16, 2021 @ 1:35am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Jun 25, 2017 @ 10:19am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Jun 27, 2017 @ 1:36am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Jun 26, 2017 @ 9:05am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Jun 27, 2017 @ 8:00am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked Jul 16, 2021 @ 2:42am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 4:32am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked Jul 16, 2021 @ 1:21am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked Jun 27, 2017 @ 8:20am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2021 @ 8:38am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked Jul 18, 2021 @ 8:35am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked Jun 27, 2017 @ 1:09am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 9:48am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked Jun 27, 2017 @ 1:28am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked Jun 27, 2017 @ 1:15am

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked Jul 18, 2021 @ 4:21am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked Jul 17, 2021 @ 5:15am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2021 @ 11:03am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked Jul 18, 2021 @ 1:21am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30