I've tried to get into this game so many times since ponying up for the Give Us More Money Edition, and every time I quit after an hour or so, annoyed enough that I usually uninstall it. Like I'm teaching it a lesson instead of just wasting bandwidth. Half a year will pass and I'll look forlornly at the screenshot section and think, "some of those later levels look like everything I want in a horror game," and then decide to repeat this miserable process again.

I hate The Evil Within. I hate its clunky controls. I hate how weirdly optimized the port is. I hate how even when I'm playing it as intended, it still feels like I'm doing it incorrectly. I hate how its maps and boss fights are designed. I hate the lumbering, slow pace. I hate that you die more often than a Sierra adventure game protagonist just trying to understand what the game expects you to do. I hate that it has so many awesome things to show me and I'll never see them because I'd rather eat my own face than deal with the brutally unfun experience of actually playing it.

Maybe this review will change when I inevitably torture myself again in half a year. Probably not, though.

I've tried to get into this game so many times since ponying up for the Give Us More Money Edition, and every time I quit after an hour or so, annoyed enough that I usually uninstall it. Like I'm teaching it a lesson instead of just wasting bandwidth. Half a year will pass and I'll look forlornly at the screenshot section and think, "some of those later levels look like everything I want in a horror game," and then decide to repeat this miserable process again. I hate The Evil Within. I hate its clunky controls. I hate how weirdly optimized the port is. I hate how even when I'm playing it as intended, it still feels like I'm doing it incorrectly. I hate how its maps and boss fights are designed. I hate the lumbering, slow pace. I hate that you die more often than a Sierra adventure game protagonist just trying to understand what the game expects you to do. I hate that it has so many awesome things to show me and I'll never see them because I'd rather eat my own face than deal with the brutally unfun experience of actually playing it. Maybe this review will change when I inevitably torture myself again in half a year. Probably not, though.