cannedcorn » Games » POSTAL 2 Stats

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83 of 89 (93%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Unlocked Dec 1, 2021 @ 10:56pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Unlocked Nov 8, 2022 @ 9:02am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.
Unlocked Dec 2, 2021 @ 12:32am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Unlocked Nov 8, 2022 @ 2:36pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Unlocked Dec 2, 2021 @ 2:59am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 9:24am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.
Unlocked Dec 1, 2021 @ 11:29pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.
Unlocked Dec 2, 2021 @ 5:15am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.
Unlocked Dec 2, 2021 @ 5:59am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.
Unlocked Nov 7, 2022 @ 10:09am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.
Unlocked Nov 7, 2022 @ 11:40am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.
Unlocked Nov 7, 2022 @ 12:54pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Unlocked Nov 7, 2022 @ 2:43pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 2:30pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 2:13pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 1:37pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.
Unlocked Nov 11, 2022 @ 8:21am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 1:31pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Unlocked Nov 17, 2022 @ 1:04pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 2:16pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 6:14am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 2:50pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Unlocked Nov 7, 2022 @ 8:25am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 1:26pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.
Unlocked Nov 7, 2022 @ 1:20pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Unlocked Nov 9, 2022 @ 6:06am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Unlocked Nov 8, 2022 @ 2:44pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Unlocked Dec 2, 2021 @ 7:05am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Unlocked Nov 7, 2022 @ 2:33pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Unlocked Nov 19, 2022 @ 2:21pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 1:21pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Unlocked Nov 7, 2022 @ 1:06pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Unlocked Nov 11, 2022 @ 8:03am

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Unlocked Mar 28, 2023 @ 8:13am

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Unlocked Mar 28, 2023 @ 8:13am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Unlocked Nov 8, 2022 @ 2:46pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 6:16am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 7:24am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Unlocked Dec 2, 2021 @ 7:16am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Unlocked Nov 11, 2022 @ 6:04am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 9:28am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 1:18pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 1:33pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.
Unlocked Nov 30, 2022 @ 2:00pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Unlocked Dec 2, 2021 @ 12:34am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Unlocked Dec 1, 2021 @ 11:30pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Unlocked Nov 8, 2022 @ 3:00pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.
Unlocked Dec 2, 2021 @ 12:01am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.
Unlocked Dec 2, 2021 @ 7:00am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.
Unlocked Dec 1, 2021 @ 10:56pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Unlocked Nov 8, 2022 @ 3:00pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 1:13pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 1:34pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 2:59pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 6:41am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 1:03pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.
Unlocked Nov 8, 2022 @ 3:04pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Unlocked Nov 8, 2022 @ 2:54pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 7:57am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Unlocked Nov 11, 2022 @ 7:22am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Unlocked Dec 2, 2021 @ 6:02am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.
Unlocked Dec 2, 2021 @ 3:16am

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 8:44am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 6:28am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.
Unlocked Nov 7, 2022 @ 2:46pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.
Unlocked Nov 7, 2022 @ 3:52pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.
Unlocked Nov 8, 2022 @ 5:41am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.
Unlocked Nov 8, 2022 @ 7:06am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Unlocked Nov 8, 2022 @ 9:53am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.
Unlocked Nov 12, 2022 @ 8:46am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.
Unlocked Nov 12, 2022 @ 6:20am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.
Unlocked Nov 12, 2022 @ 6:25am

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.
Unlocked Nov 7, 2022 @ 4:23pm

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.
Unlocked Mar 29, 2023 @ 8:44am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.
Unlocked Nov 8, 2022 @ 6:35am

Ode to Eddings

Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.
Unlocked Mar 30, 2023 @ 9:32am

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.
Unlocked Mar 29, 2023 @ 2:11pm

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Unlocked Mar 29, 2023 @ 7:47am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.
Unlocked Nov 12, 2022 @ 7:57am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Unlocked Nov 14, 2022 @ 12:58pm

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Unlocked Nov 12, 2022 @ 7:46am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.
Unlocked Nov 10, 2022 @ 1:31pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!
Unlocked Nov 7, 2022 @ 11:21am



CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)