Gonzo » Games » POSTAL 2 Stats

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89 of 89 (100%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Unlocked Dec 10, 2020 @ 6:07pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Unlocked Dec 10, 2020 @ 11:51pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 11:27pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Unlocked Dec 10, 2020 @ 6:57pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Unlocked Dec 10, 2020 @ 6:27pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 9:19pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.
Unlocked Dec 10, 2020 @ 6:33pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.
Unlocked Dec 10, 2020 @ 11:50pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.
Unlocked Dec 11, 2020 @ 1:31am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 1:52am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 8:48pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 10:19pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 2:11am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 4:05pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.
Unlocked Dec 14, 2020 @ 1:42am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 6:30pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 2:37am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Unlocked Dec 11, 2020 @ 5:39pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Unlocked Dec 10, 2020 @ 11:58pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 2:36am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 11:39pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 3:17am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Unlocked Dec 10, 2020 @ 6:11pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 4:26pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 10:43pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Unlocked Dec 10, 2020 @ 6:57pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 2:26am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 9:19pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 1:30am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 2:50am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 3:41pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 7:51pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 12:22am

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Unlocked Dec 18, 2020 @ 4:50pm

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Unlocked Dec 18, 2020 @ 4:50pm

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Unlocked Jan 7, 2021 @ 7:47pm

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Unlocked Dec 14, 2020 @ 1:50am

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Unlocked Dec 18, 2020 @ 2:49am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Unlocked Jun 25, 2014 @ 12:34am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 4:05pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Unlocked Dec 11, 2020 @ 2:23am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 10:46pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Unlocked Dec 11, 2020 @ 1:25am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 9:54pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 3:57pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 3:05am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 1:54am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Unlocked Dec 10, 2020 @ 11:13pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Unlocked Dec 10, 2020 @ 6:50pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 2:48am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.
Unlocked Dec 11, 2020 @ 5:55pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.
Unlocked Dec 10, 2020 @ 11:30pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.
Unlocked Dec 10, 2020 @ 7:01pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Unlocked Dec 10, 2020 @ 6:51pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 6:33pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Unlocked Dec 10, 2020 @ 7:04pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 4:11pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Unlocked Dec 11, 2020 @ 5:39pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 11:15pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 3:04am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 2:34am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 2:31am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Unlocked Dec 11, 2020 @ 6:16pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Unlocked Dec 11, 2020 @ 5:54pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.
Unlocked Jan 7, 2021 @ 4:58pm

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 8:13pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Unlocked Dec 11, 2020 @ 5:41pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 2:12am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.
Unlocked Dec 18, 2020 @ 8:13pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.
Unlocked Dec 19, 2020 @ 9:38pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.
Unlocked Dec 25, 2020 @ 12:33am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Unlocked Dec 31, 2020 @ 3:04am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.
Unlocked Jan 3, 2021 @ 7:09pm

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Unlocked Jan 7, 2021 @ 4:25pm

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Unlocked Jan 6, 2021 @ 2:17am

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Unlocked Jan 7, 2021 @ 4:17pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.
Unlocked Dec 18, 2020 @ 7:54pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.
Unlocked Dec 18, 2020 @ 6:55pm

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.
Unlocked Dec 19, 2020 @ 8:51pm

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.
Unlocked Dec 20, 2020 @ 12:08am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.
Unlocked Dec 20, 2020 @ 12:32am

Ode to Eddings

Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.
Unlocked Jan 7, 2021 @ 3:09pm

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.
Unlocked Dec 25, 2020 @ 12:43am

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Unlocked Dec 20, 2020 @ 12:10am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.
Unlocked Dec 31, 2020 @ 1:35am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Unlocked Dec 18, 2020 @ 7:16pm

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Unlocked Dec 20, 2020 @ 12:24am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.
Unlocked Dec 12, 2020 @ 11:14pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!
Unlocked Dec 13, 2020 @ 4:15pm