Anhedonia
Farts McButtz
 
 
Oh ♥♥♥♥, how do I video games?
Favorite Game
Rarest Achievement Showcase
I don't know what is going on?
Are you here to explain this? What's a "steam"???
:special: Why is there a goat?!
Review Showcase
3.4 Hours played
TLDR: Don't buy this game, it's bad. Instead consider playing Tales of Maj'Eyal or Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup.

Quest of Dungeons is not a roguelike, it is a roguelikelike. It is a dumb, poorly made abomination that merely contains elements that an ignorant may ask and be told, probably from a bored and indifferent source, can be found within roguelikes.

This insipid program is a mannequin of a roguelike. There is next to no variety in abilities or items. Most gear is a flat upgrade, additional stats are rare and usually as significant as +1% crit chance. It has draped itself in the trappings of a roguelike but nothing more.

It lacks many basic features such as auto-exploration, travel to landmark, or rest till fully healed. And may the Good Lord in Heaven have mercy or your wretched soul if you should even attempt to make use of the click to move feature.

Clicking on a square causes you to move to that square, even distant squares that take many turns to walk to. In those subsequent turns you get to watch your character get mobbed to death without you being able to stop it. Yes, this game lacks the basic feature of stopping auto-walk when an enemy appears or you take damage. The first time I had a character die to this I had to immediately kill off a few more just to convince myself that yes, this game is just that badly made. Had the developers placed into this game any sort of love, care, attention, or to be frank, competence, then they would have caught this.

No love was put into this game, and I presume only minimal effort. Where are the random and unindentified potions, scrolls, and wands? Where are the whacky item egos and curses? Where is the innovation? Where is the fun? Where are the things that people who love games hold so dear that they want to dedicated a significant portion of their lives just for the chance that they can share them with the world? Where is this game's voice? Oh no, not That Friend's voice. But yes, it is, and we will discuss it.

Throughout the game monsters will say famous quotes from pop culture. “Welcome to your doom.” You might open a door and see a walking tree that announces “I am your father.” No reason, no joke, no connection to anything. “The cake is a lie.” These things are just said and said and said, repeated constantly through the game. “Run you fool.” It isn't funny.

Say you find yourself, despite all good efforts, alone in a room with That Friend. You know of whom I speak, we all know That Friend.

“Do you remember Portal?” he asks, then guffaws. Using his thumb he counts down the greasy fat fingers on his other hand. Star Trek, Terminator, Lord of the Rings, Scooby-Doo. Each punctuated with a false high pitched screech that his dim mind approximates to laughter before moving down the queue to the next reference. No jokes, no punchlines, just references to the existence of pop culture icons. And then braying.

Grabbing you by the shoulders, That Friend pulls his oily face within millimeters of yours, dilated eyes blood shot and half mad, spit foaming in the corners of his filthy unwashed mouth, he screams his putrid breath into your nostrils: “Do you remember Star Wars?!” And then the noise, which you will never forget, not laughter, but a robotic repetitive pronunciation of a syllable without variation, screamed at the top of his lungs, into your face, into your rattling suicide-contemplating bones. “HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!”

These syllables are devoid of humor and the halls that they echo through are indelibly darkened, even memories of mirth and joy past are erased.

This game is bad.
It was made by bad people.
But it was not made for bad people.
It was made for no one.
Salien Stats
Level Reached
13
Bosses Fought
5

Experience Earned
4,811,312