This game? CS-bleh. It’s not Counter-Strike, it’s Counter-Suffering. I’ve never hated something this passionately — and I say that with love. No, seriously. I'm passionately passionate about how passionately I hate this digital war crime.

The hitreg is more like missreg. The smokes work when they feel like it. I peek an angle and die before I even exist. My bullets take coffee breaks. My teammates? Emotionally feral toddlers with voice chat access.

Every round is a rush B straight to my blood pressure. Every match is a full-length feature film titled How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Tilt.

If emotional pain was an esport, I’d be Global Elite.

0/10 — would uninstall, reinstall, and uninstall again. Just out of spite.

This game? CS-bleh. It’s not Counter-Strike, it’s Counter-Suffering. I’ve never hated something this passionately — and I say that with love. No, seriously. I'm passionately passionate about how passionately I hate this digital war crime. The hitreg is more like missreg. The smokes work when they feel like it. I peek an angle and die before I even exist. My bullets take coffee breaks. My teammates? Emotionally feral toddlers with voice chat access. Every round is a rush B straight to my blood pressure. Every match is a full-length feature film titled How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Tilt. If emotional pain was an esport, I’d be Global Elite. 0/10 — would uninstall, reinstall, and uninstall again. Just out of spite.