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Recent reviews by Xonifur

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Showing 1-10 of 30 entries
2 people found this review helpful
126.8 hrs on record (85.2 hrs at review time)
Don't become a Sony lapdog.
Posted May 4.
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2 people found this review helpful
13.2 hrs on record
This game is a buggy mess. I can barely get through the game breaking bugs to even complete a run. Any popups that appear have a chance to just stay there... forever. This game seems to have a ton of issues with multiplayer too, as turns will get broken and therefore you will have to constantly reboot the game. If everything runs smoothly you can expect to only need to restart your game about once an hour, but if the game is feeling temperamental you may as well not even play.

I wish I could properly review this game, but it has been a miserable chore just to even play it.
Posted June 6, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
533.4 hrs on record (481.3 hrs at review time)
I could not possibly recommend this game. It's a great improvement from the second game, but still misses the mark, and sometimes catastrophically.

Battles are completely broken. If your units route, it removes your entire UI even if you have controllable units leftover. I hope you didn't plan on keeping track of your troops or casting spells! (I hope your unit also didn't have an ability!) Also, whenever using spells, sometimes the game will literally randomly kick you out of your character's spells, and it's jarring. You have to go back to the character, aim the spell again, and there's no guarantee that the bug won't just happen again. It gets soooo frustrating just to use a spellcaster because the game just constantly kicks you out of menus or just outright removes EVERYTHING on your screen. Also, despite being handcrafted battles, there are reinforcement positions that can make it so your army physically cannot escape the terrain. Even if it was a battle that you won overwhelmingly, you will actually have to surrender to end the battle, or at the very worst, make it a draw and waste your time. You yourself can avoid this by moving your reinforcement point, but AI somehow manages to keep choosing the worst spots to reinforce, and everyone's army is instantly stalemated due to asinine terrain, such as being stuck on a cliff that can't be reached, . This is literally the worst "handcrafted land battle" terrain I've ever played in on any game. Another thing that's annoying, but not particularly gamebreaking, is that ranged units (guns, more specifically) tend to waste entire volleys on a single straggler unit, overkilling it so much it died like 100 bullets ago, and the main army tends to be largely unscathed despite being targeted for minutes at a time. Units are also slow to react to commands, and sometimes it feels like I'm playing on 2 thousand ping on a singleplayer campaign.

Multiplayer campaigns are annoying, since the game tends to just randomly break at any given turn. Crashes happen at least twice in any given session, and battle results always cause desyncs and you will most likely be spending more time troubleshooting than actually playing a game with friends. I won't include mods, since that's not the fault of devs, but it will definitely compound your issues and it's discouraging to use them, since you don't know if the game just sucks or if the mod is actually bricking your game.

Siege battles are still a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ joke, and siege engines continue to disappoint me by ramming themselves into the wall as soon as you look away from them. Also, they're somehow even buggier than the previous game. Like, for example, I can't use doors that I control, even if I'm the owner of the settlement. Basically, you're forced to climb the wall, even though you went through all the trouble of capturing the door. If you were a defender, good luck utilizing your vantage points, since without units to bog them down, it's just a glorified land battle.

Auto resolve is a lot better than it used to be, and even though it has flaws, it's still pretty good. That being said, this game seems to have some kind of fetish for making you lose random units over pointless battles. I feel like sometimes the game is actually trying to test my patience to the point I play a battle that I won in 30 seconds without even so much as the enemy scoring a single kill, and I don't mean the unit card. It's frustrating, and unless it's a super tough battle, it's difficult to imagine why the game thinks I lose my most valuable units over Empire human garrisons.

The new playable factions are... utterly disappointing. All of the demons are sorely lacking any real unit variety, and literally only 1 out of the 4 demon factions even have a ranged unit. I hope you didn't consider the demon that has all 4 factions under his belt, because his talent tree is so pathetically bad you feel like you're playing as a minor faction lord. Ogres literally only have like 4 units, which are just reskinned goblins, and then 3 variations of the same fat ogre. Kislev and Grand Cathay are actually god tier fun, though, and I never find myself feeling bored playing them, even if they do trivialize the game a bit. Those are the only factions you'll get to play, so I hope you're willing to shell out literally THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS for the different races.

However, despite the weaknesses of Warhammer 3, it would be wise to praise their successes. Realm Of Chaos is the most fun I've had in Warhammer in a long time, even if there's no real way of catching up from being behind. Auto resolve battles are less offensively wrong, and playing with friends saves so much time now that turns are taken simultaneously. Siege battles are a lot more engaging, and I'll probably love them once all the kinks are ironed out.

UPDATE: I've come back to this game, and the game has somehow gotten so much worse??? The game crashes more frequently than ever, units straight up don't listen to your orders anymore, and there's even MORE dlc that charges more money than my actual rent!!! What the ♥♥♥♥ are devs smoking? How do you make a game WORSE over months and months of work? I would not even recommend this game if it was free, because it still costs your valuable time. If you have any self love, you will never play what has easily become the most unstable game I've ever played and also somehow managed to become even more greedy. If you recently purchased this game, do anything you can to refund it.
Posted January 25, 2023. Last edited November 28, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
78.4 hrs on record (74.4 hrs at review time)
Super Animal Royale is a very cute game, and definitely worth a try. It's not fair to give bonus points by judging it off the player base, but the community is very wholesome and it's easy to make friends here. The game's marketing isn't predatory in the slightest, and doesn't abuse the "fear of missing out" that other battle royales, or any other game with battle passes, tend to do. Any battle pass that ends in SAR will simply become something you can work toward as a "secondary battle pass," provided you equip that pass to make progress toward it. If you're looking for a game that respects your time and doesn't make you feel like it's a job to play it, definitely try this game! If you're not a fan of battle royales though, they have 2 current rotating game modes, which is either a King Of The Hill type gamemode, or a zombie survival where you can become infected, and turn against the remaining survivors. (similar to zombie modes in call of duty)

The game also regularly receives updates, and at the time of posting they've added some cool little landmine consumables, so the game shouldn't get too stale if you play it regularly.
Posted January 4, 2023.
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2 people found this review helpful
14.3 hrs on record
Thumper's atmosphere is utterly intoxicating and addictive, and I've never played a rhythm game like this that captures such raw energy. This game is simple to understand, but quite hard to master and get those juicy S ranks. Thumper is a beautiful game, which is impressive, as the entire game is literally just a bending track. If you're looking for a rhythm game with an atmosphere that grips you so tight that you can't stop playing until your fingers hurt, then look no further.
Posted January 4, 2023.
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2 people found this review helpful
128.5 hrs on record (70.5 hrs at review time)
Darktide is a neat little game, albeit with glaring flaws, but certainly worth a purchase if you enjoy shooter games. The game comes with 4 unique classes, each adopting a unique style of play with skill trees unique to that class. All of them get unique weapons, such as a staff for the mage, or a minigun for the ogre. There are a wide variety of enemies, equipped with plenty of unique enemy chatter, such as the ogre enemies expressing their desire to crush you, or trappers almost pissing themselves in giggles when they're about to catch you.

Firstly, the gameplay is definitely the defining feature of this game. The reason I say this is that story is utterly forgettable and I honestly question why it was even added since it honestly feels out of place. As you level up, you just get random 2 minute cutscenes where the story characters all talk about how useless you are, then randomly there's some subplot that was actually the main part of the story, and... yeah. There is also a "crafting" system, but it's more like upgrading weapons and rerolling stats.

So, as for gameplay, it's the only thing that will actually be making you come back to the game, as there isn't much of a grind in this game aside from reaching max level. Levels are quite long, averaging to around 30 to 40 minutes per run. There is ABSOLUTELY ZERO solo play, and you will always be forced to play with really ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stupid bots, so if you are actually not interested in the multiplayer, my recommendation for this game would instantly be a thumbs down. Every class has one unique skill, but I do wish they had more build variety, as a lot are bland. Sharpshooter gets a FOV decrease and a little more damage, the mage just pushes people, the ogre runs in a straight line, and zealot also just runs in a straight line, but only if he sees an enemy. If you're hoping for ability based gameplay, I also don't recommend this. This game is 100% all about the melee combat and gunplay. Hordes are easy to tear through, and not particularly intimidating, but it is very satisfying seeing all the bodies on the floor after cleaving through all the zombies effortlessly. Special enemies and minibosses are actually fun to fight, and they have a purpose to exist. Literally all of them are threatening, and some need to be approached in unique ways. Heavily armored units are annoying to kill, for example, so a mage will typically just ignore it by blowing up their brain. Ragers are unstoppable, and it's almost guaranteed they will win a melee fight with you, so you just need to blast them with guns before they reach you. Mutants are fast and they enjoy displacing you and throwing you smack dab into the center of hordes or firing zones, and need to be killed quickly before they displace your whole team. These specials are ACTUALLY THREATENING, and you feel an urgency to actually kill them, as well as respecting their power and exploiting their weaknesses. I really appreciate that. There's also minibosses, but to be honest, despite the spectacles and music, they're just bloated hp bars. You will never actually lose a run to a beast of nurgle or Plague Ogryn, and they're just bullet sponges typically. Despite this, it's still fun to DPS check on them, and it's satisfying watching them flop over. There are quite a bit of maps with unique game modes, although all of them boil down to "Kill enemies," which isn't exactly a bad thing as it's fun to do it. Ammo and health drops are scarce, which I do enjoy. You have to actually think about every encounter, weighing if the usage of grenades or ammo is worth it, or if you should drop a medkit for your team during a tense encounter or see if you can make it to the heal station alive. Mages and Veterans can ignore this aspect of the game though, as mage has no resources, and Veterans can regenerate grenades and ammo. REGARDLESS, I still enjoy the scarcity, and it adds to the atmosphere, I feel like.

No game is without flaws, though, and I find myself getting frustrated with asinine decisions. For example, nobody likes late joining games because you will retain the health and corruption of the bot you take control over... Why..? The bots aren't even competent, and often die randomly. Too many times, I've taken control of a bot during a late join with 10 hp, almost all my hp corrupted, and it plops me right into the center of a horde, and I die instantly because there is also no spawn protection. You can literally die the same second you spawn into the game. I'm sorry, but I don't feel like late joining games if it's going to practically force me into spectator mode or cripple me until the next healing stop. Ogryn bulwarks in particular also frustrate me, as their shield is not dynamic. If they drop their shield, and you shoot them in the head, it's still "blocked damage" and they become very frustrating to actually kill, since you can't actually trust what the game is literally presenting to you. This is like 2012 design, and should be abolished. Why make an animation for a shield character dropping their shield, if it doesn't actually mean you can damage them now? I also notice very awkward situations in which enemies have clearly missed, and still hit you anyway, and vice versa, where I barely miss an enemy and get no hit sounds or indicator, but their head still randomly explodes and they flop over without a sound. I presume this is lag, but it's very jarring anyhow.

Overall, I definitely think anyone who enjoys shooters should give this game a try. There isn't too much grind, so if you're the type to enjoy just playing a game without working for something, this is a good game for that. Special enemies are actually fun, the music is nice, if not sometimes a bit grating with annoying beeps and screeches, and the microtransactions in this game aren't predatory, and very fair. (which is a very good bonus, as nobody wants to play a game that views their playerbase as walking wallets)
Posted January 4, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
133.8 hrs on record (48.4 hrs at review time)
Despite my positive review, if you're looking for multiplayer with a friend, then this review would be a thumbs down. I don't know why they try to sell their multiplayer like it's this cool revolutionary thing when it's so limiting I've honestly cringed from how much the game closes up. No riding horses in a huge open world, caves and dungeons require that you disconnect multiplayer, have your friend run over to the dungeon, then restart multiplayer. You have to do the dungeon again for each friend because the rewards are only given to the host. Invasions happen constantly which I don't personally mind but a lot seem to have a cheesy attack like a whole ass dragon that sprouts from their arms and has flame breath that kills you through walls while you're still stuck with an axe and shield, pebble attack, or pitiful throwing daggers. From what I've seen there's no real limit on who can fight you so you will get ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ by no lifes or cheaters. (which there's a lot of. Easy Anti Cheat is a joke) Furthermore, due to how restrictive and finicky multiplayer is, this game's multiplayer is going to be a barren wasteland in a few months and you need to invade players for special items you can't get anywhere else. Basically, only play this game if you're looking for a singleplayer experience. Multiplayer is disappointing at best and downright frustrating at worst.

With that aside, I'd like to emphasize that this is a pretty good game despite that! When I was shown the full size of the map I honestly didn't believe it, but I've been playing for weeks and there's still so much more to explore and cool little secrets in the place you return to. You're rewarded heavily for being curious and shoving your face down any rabbit hole by getting any number of cool trinkets and items. It will DEFINITELY scratch your adventurous itch. With the game being open world, you get a fast horse which can double jump and interacts with wind currents that turn you into a NASA spaceship so you can ignore mountain cliffs to some extent. The world is BEAUTIFUL and even as someone who only looks at something only to say "huh, that's cool," I was actually stunned a few times by how pretty everything looks. To an additional extent, even enemies and your armor look really attractive and I find myself hunting all kinds of armors just to see what makes me look cool or admiring enemy models because of how well made they are.

Combat is fantastic! Every weapon has their own weaknesses and strengths and you are able to switch your weapons around and 2-hand even 1 handed weapons to make them stronger and break a shield guard. There's so many different kinds of weapons I often find myself testing each and every one and I still find more and more unique weapons. This is further augmented with "Ashes of war" which pretty much just mean the weapon you wield will cast a special ability like summoning a tornado around yourself or doing a halberd charge to impale somebody. (Just as examples! There's a ton of special attacks you can use!) There's tons of enemies with all kinds of weaknesses to exploit and strengths to be wary about. Because of this, even regular enemies can make you feel the rush and intensity of combat even if the fight isn't a struggle for you! I've noticed my heart pounding out of my chest whenever I finish killing giants, which aren't particularly hard when you get used to them, but are huge and intimidating despite that!

No game is without its flaws, though. I've gotten frustrated with this game due to the lack of information you're provided. I've needed to keep a separate tab open for Elden Ring just to look up what the ♥♥♥♥ an NPC wants me to do. You don't really get any good indications other than "south" or "nearby" when they want you to clear out a castle or kill a boss. You'd think talking to the NPC would remind you of where to go or they'd go into deeper detail, but nope. They just ramble on about how you should do this quest they want you to do. Would it really have been so hard to at least add some kind of marker or directions via an item they give you? Also, leveling up and upgrading stats is... uncomfortable. The game doesn't really tell you what each stat is meant to do and only changes the value of some numbers that the game doesn't bother to explain to you. Again, you'll need to look it up just to see what the hell you're even getting with these stat boosts. Also, when it comes to combat, some enemies will just not ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stop attacking even for a single second. This is really frustrating in hordes because there is no real way to avoid that kind of damage; You'll run out of stamina from needing to spam your dodge or just get hit in between your dodge anyway because you might have dodged this first attack, but the followup attack is so fast it will hit you while you're midair from previously dodging. It's annoying and even though you can kill every enemy once you figure them out sometimes enemies can be way too oppressive especially in hordes. If there's a horde of enemies that all spam their attacks you're SOL and just need to run with your tail between your legs. Something that's also really annoying is that you don't get a chance to counterattack much even against bosses since they attack so much and drain your stamina from forcing dodging and blocking that you don't actually get enough stamina to attack the single brief second they let you actually fight back. I understand you can't be permanently aggro in a game like this but it's a little ridiculous how often EACH enemy will just flail about for a good 10 or 15 seconds when you hardly have the stamina to attack more than 6 times. (which is around 3 seconds) If you're ranged, good luck! Enemies don't have a cooldown for dodging ranged attacks and will do it literally forever if they're capable of doing so. Also, I got a gamebreaking glitch when equipping a new piece of armor that for some reason unloaded my map and had me sitting in an endless void; It promptly crashed my game and rendered my save unplayable because the armor was just too powerful for a normie like me, I guess. Good thing I duped my save. The game makes it a pain in the ass to dupe your save as well. There's not even an option ingame to do this! Also, you can't reload previous saves in game either. Makes sense, but I'd rather people cheese their singleplayer game instead of people lose their entire saves!

However, even despite the game's flaws, I was able to shrug them off to an extent and got to enjoy what the game was offering me. For every flaw this game has, it makes up for with 3 different really cool and well made features. This game is punishing and hard, but it doesn't humiliate you for dying and it can be so rewarding to FINALLY kill that enemy or clear that camp and receive some cool trinkets. The game even goes as far as to COMPLIMENT you when you die to one of the first bosses in the game for even reaching the bosses in the first place. It also gives you a brief break from the boss you face by hooking you up with a main hub area that can give you some good gear and tools to help you beat him. Basically, you can come back to him later and focus on exploring; There is absolutely no shame in it! Ultimately, I would recommend this game despite it's weaknesses and flaws. If you're a bit more skeptical about the game, then I recommend waiting a while for some patches that fix gamebreaking bugs and the stuttering this game has. I didn't personally encounter the stutter-ring (hehe) but I had some noticeable frame rate drops here and there despite having a really powerful computer. Nothing too horrible. I hope you'll enjoy the game as much I do!
Posted March 6, 2022. Last edited March 6, 2022.
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4 people found this review helpful
0.0 hrs on record
It's times like these where I wish I could have a more neutral standpoint. This DLC adds a lot to the table and opens up builds a lot more, has lots of biomes, (which was direly needed) and even goes as far as to implement 2 survivors and elites! On the other hand... There is a LOT wrong with this DLC and I do think it deserved a bit more time in the oven. Nobody minds waiting longer for a product if it comes out GOOD.

I'll start with the good first. the new survivors are awesome. You are given Railgunner outright and Void Fiend is unlocked through the void ending or doing Simulacrum which is a new game mode geared around just surviving. Railgunner has an alternate skill for all of her abilities and also aren't ridiculous to obtain without being direct upgrades to her kit. Unlike some other survivors, you can actually mix and match however you like to with railgunner. I LOVE the new elites. Were you struggling with healing in runs before? Kill a mending elite and they leave an explosion that heals you! They're not all good for you, though. They do actually heal other enemies and can be a priority target but aren't really required. The heal isn't incredible but also isn't abysmally small. It's perfect. Also, I like that mending elites cannot heal other mending elites. You won't need to worry about healers having immortality! Void Seeds are interesting. I have my dislikes, but I'll save that for the place it's due at. I like that areas can be infested with Voidlings and they have items you can play around without having to use an artifact. (I have not encountered the Void item that has a chance to instantly kill you on hit, but I'm PRETTY SURE voidlings don't get to have it) I also must say I love the void items. Corrupted items basically invert the effect of an item in interesting ways. A ukulele normally chains lightning to other enemies, but the corrupted version will repeatedly strike the SAME enemy. I'm a HUUUUGE fan of void items and they're genuinely so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cool.

This is where my compliments with the DLC end. I don't like what they did to the void. The damage is utterly ridiculous now. Void is impossible to do unless you have a HUGE amount of healing and movement speed. As someone who also plays melees a lot, you used to be able to handle the void damage without it completely and utterly obliterating you. I'd have preferred if the void did scaling damage based on how long you were inside the void so you can least kill things as a melee player or get to the next void cells without dying or being at the brink of it. It would still incentivize you to keep out of the void without the damage being as unfair as it is. While on the topic of the void, void seeds can spawn right on top of you when you graduate from a stage. If you're glassy, there's a good chance you're just dead on the spot. No spawn protection? Seriously? I'm also very disappointed with what they did for Void Fiend. Overall, he's pretty cool, but his utility skill kind of... always works against you. Using it more often than not will shoot you so high in the air you'll wonder why the ability needs to turn you into a NASA spaceship. The horizontal dash boosts your momentum too much and you're going to be overshooting your target every single time unless you headbutt them. You may as well not even use this utility skill. It's a trap that always seems to work against you. Special is pretty cool. It's always fun to mess around with because you can use it to spend health and be a flak cannon to bosses or you can suppress your incredible powers a bit longer to heal instead. (It also interacts with healing and dealing damage so it's not only locked to time!) his other abilities aren't of much note and aren't exactly special or groundbreaking, but that's fine! I'm just a little disappointed that Void Fiend actually has ZERO alternate abilities. I understand that TECHNICALLY he has 8 skills but would it really be so hard to add at least one alternate ability? Lame. Multiplayer seems to lag a lot more now than it did before which doesn't bother me much as a solo player, but the few times I played multi there were lots of horrible issues and a ton more lag than anyone should be used to. I get it. It's online. But it was never this bad and everyone has been having the same problems. I don't in particular mind the difficulty scalings so that wasn't too much of an issue for me, but I could see the intense scaling being a turn off to many players. (regardless of difficulty. Don't be that guy who suggests the easy difficulty knowing full well it doesn't solve the seemingly broken scaling right now) I also cannot say I'm a fan of the void crabs who can stun you AND also one shot you. It should be one or the other, not both. They are able to suck you into the void zones and root you for about 1 or 2 seconds. That should be more than enough. They absolutely do NOT NEED to fire a homing aoe ball on their death that will kill you literally no matter what. It's one of the few aoes that kill you regardless of what happens and it doesn't need to move faster than you run. (Also pray you don't get sucked into the aoe and rooted if there's another crab!) New items are cool, but some items seem largely similar to each other. (take for example shipping delivery. It's just literally a green busted key.)

Overall, I would not purchase this DLC until the kinks have been ironed out and Void Fiend actually gets AT LEAST a single alternate skill. This DLC should only be purchased if you're looking to play Railgunner on top of the other features. You will be disappointed if you purchase the DLC for Void Fiend as of this moment.
Posted March 2, 2022. Last edited March 2, 2022.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
366.6 hrs on record (275.3 hrs at review time)
Risk of Rain 2 is an absolutely fantastic game that I'd recommend to anybody who enjoys shooters, collecting achievements, or being challenged.

The game has a rather charming art style and music is widely regarded as very well made although some songs do get a little pitchy or repetitive. I also really like that killing specific monsters or collecting specific items will allow you to inspect them in a logbook so you can truly admire the monster's design without them brutally axe-murdering you. There's a somewhat large amount of biomes that exist in the game and most have unique enemies that spawn exclusively to that area. Achievements are also fantastic (although some are ridiculous) and are very rewarding because they will always give you a new toy to play with.

First off, I really like that achievements give you new content to mess with. It feels very rewarding to actually do them because the rewards usually involve items, alternate skills for your character, or even just a new character altogether! You're rewarded very heavily for chasing achievements and completing special tasks or wandering around and discovering cute little secrets by yourself.

Combat feels fantastic. There's a VERY large selection of enemies to vaporize and all of them need to be treated differently to be avoided. This game can get insanely crazy cus the floor will be so very littered with monsters, but if you play correctly you'll never get hit! I really enjoy that this game rewards your personal skills at dodging and it's not always going to a dps deathmatch between every little enemy. (That being said, wisps are almost impossible to dodge but also have the lowest health pool in the game so I think it's fair considering they don't even hurt that much) Furthermore, there's tons of characters to unlock and all have special abilities you can unlock and earn through playing them. None of the characters feel recycled and all of them are interesting or have a neat gimmick. (Commando is probably the most boring in everyone else's opinion and also mine, but even he gets cool dual pistols and Dashes)

Despite this being somewhat of a luck based game, items exist in such a way that even if you don't get an item that's good for your character, you can still use your raw skill and the items you've managed to collect to dominate your games. I also really like the difficulty system in this game. It's done in such a way that you don't even need to feel bad about doing the easiest difficulty because eventually Drizzle will ♥♥♥♥ you just about as hard as Monsoon would anyway. It tells you exactly what changes in the game from difficulty settings instead of making you play guessing games so you can decide what difficulty is most comfortable for you right out the gates.

This game has an incredible modding community and there's some funny things you can get away with in public lobbies. I have been able to join modded hosts while vanilla whom have a character that lets you play as an overloading worm which is absolutely hilarious. Do keep in mind there probably won't be completely unique characters if you join a modded lobby successfully without mods. Some mods are just able to be run with vanilla players and the game will not automatically download the mods being run if your game won't operate without them. That being said, I urge you to try mods! This game has been receiving an ever increasing amount of modders and you will be able to select between a lot of things to choose from!

There's a lot of ways to spice up your game without mods, though. Artifacts are capable of changing the rules of the game to make it more chaotic or assist you with becoming God. Just as an example, my favorite artifact is the one where an evil clone of you with your same character and items tries to kill you every ten minutes! The more popular one is the one where items can be chosen rather than randomly generated if you're just looking for a quick game and want to enjoy playing God.

For a pretty cheap price tag, I think this game is worth trying out! If you're on the fence you can still wait for a sale, but I don't imagine anyone who likes shooters won't at least enjoy this game for a few days!
Posted February 26, 2022.
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75 people found this review helpful
7 people found this review funny
4
366.7 hrs on record (334.2 hrs at review time)
Let me start off by saying this is and has been one of my favorite games ever since the day of it's release. That being said, despite all the charm and love this game has put into it, I just can't bring myself to recommend playing it.

Firstly, the story is nothing special. That's fine! The game is mostly about the strategy and tactical combat, so it's not that bad. That being said, you don't really get to play much of the characters in the storyline. I'm going to compare Wargroove and Advance Wars together since it's obviously heavily inspired from it right down to the units that counter each other. In AW, you get to play as every country (except the antagonist country, obviously) and you get to experience every character in the story. Here, you're lucky to get a character that you play more than twice. Pretty much the entire story is just Mercia and about 25% of the character cast at best. I can't say I'm a fan of it!

Arcade mode is a joke. It's a victim of very lazy design choices which is so very questionable considering how much love was put into this game! Most games tend to make something "hard" by just ramping up hp and the damage they deal or something. THIS DOES NOT WORK IN A GAME LIKE THIS. The enemy AI receives doubled income which is so asininely stupid I question if they even playtested their game. Most of hard mode in arcade is trying to cut the enemy off from their income and dominate the map by turn 4 or 5 and there's still a heavy chance that despite you owning the majority of the map they still make more income than you. (Hope you like zerg rushing every game! If you play defensively then this game mode will not be fun for you!) This, as you can probably tell, makes some maps IMPOSSIBLE to win ESPECIALLY if you didn't dominate the early game and amass a huge lead. Never have I ever seen such a poor choice from developers to just make you forcefully resign if you get unlucky and get one of the impossible maps. Hope you like starting over, cus you'll be doing that often! It's fine in normal mode, I guess. The AI isn't that intelligent though, so expect some boring arcade games. (especially if you know how to abuse the AI's targeting system)

As I just stated, the AI isn't that smart. Rather than increase the intelligence of the AI they just give them more money to spam units that you can't afford to purchase the counter to. Far too many times have I been able to just steamroll the AI like they're nothing because the AI always makes super terrible purchases on troops that just get wiped out immediately despite their stupid gold lead. Commanders are incredibly stupid. They never really hold onto their groove until they need it or just outright waste it entirely (Tenri for example always seems to only ever target herself and only moves herself by like 2 tiles. She can make anyone, including her team and the enemy's, be forcefully moved anywhere around her in a large radius!) This makes the game soooo boring without playing on hard mode (Even though as previously stated it sucks)

I'm so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ tired of RNG in strategy games. I didn't play Wargroove to feel like I'm playing DND, I played wargroove to use my brain. There exists a system in this game where every attack can just... not do as much damage as it says it will. You need an enemy to die and it says this soldier can kill them? Great! You attack the enemy only to see they survive with a sliver of hp. You didn't get lucky enough for your attack to do as much damage as the game told you it would. There is NO WAY to turn this off. You're stuck with it. ♥♥♥♥ you.

Puzzle mode is ingenious and I love it! There's been some times where I've felt pretty good figuring out their puzzles, but some are so very straightforward you wonder if the developer making it ever got the memo it was supposed to be a brain bending puzzle. That's really all I have to say about puzzle mode, though. Well done, guys. I actually think it's a clever game mode despite how easy some of them can be.

The strategy in this game can be pretty deep, especially when you consider critical strikes in this game. I really enjoy that they reward you for for utilizing a troop the way they were meant to be used. Soldiers are meant to be meat shields, so naturally they crit when near their commander. (The death of your commander spells defeat for you and should be protected despite being strong by themselves) Mages crit when they have high defense, which has good synergy with the mage commander you can play as. dogs crit when their target is surrounded by other dogs which supports the fact that they're pack animals and infantry assassins. It's a really creative idea and I applaud them for spicing up their gameplay in a way that makes you feel good. Unfortunately that's where my compliments with crits end. If you crit an enemy, they're just dead. Most things in this game will just literally instantly die when crit. (especially if by their counter) What did you buy a tank for if they can't even stay on the board for 2 or 3 turns? What's the point of dogs if the very unit they were supposed to assassinate can just crit the dog and make them worthless? I'm not saying I want crits to be useless, but the damage in this game is already so high that adding crits just makes things feel like a Call of Duty match where everything that breathes in the range of something else dies. Where's the strategy of having a soldier tank an attack to get breathing room for your other troops? Most troops are just dead in a single hit from anything...
Posted February 11, 2022. Last edited February 13, 2022.
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