Bagel's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Dec 24, 2014 @ 11:14pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Dec 25, 2014 @ 8:40am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Dec 25, 2014 @ 9:10am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked Dec 25, 2014 @ 9:24am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Dec 24, 2014 @ 11:47pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Jan 4, 2015 @ 5:21pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Jan 5, 2015 @ 7:04pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Dec 25, 2014 @ 9:01am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked Jan 4, 2015 @ 9:01pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked Jan 4, 2015 @ 8:31pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked Jan 5, 2015 @ 7:07pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Dec 24, 2014 @ 11:54pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked Jan 4, 2015 @ 6:03pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked May 23, 2019 @ 10:30pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked May 23, 2019 @ 8:24pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked Dec 25, 2014 @ 12:04am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked May 23, 2019 @ 8:25pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked Jan 5, 2015 @ 7:27pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked May 23, 2019 @ 8:19pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Dec 25, 2014 @ 8:38am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked Jan 4, 2015 @ 5:02pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Dec 24, 2014 @ 11:20pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked May 23, 2019 @ 8:23pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked Jan 4, 2015 @ 10:05pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Dec 24, 2014 @ 11:26pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Jan 4, 2015 @ 5:27pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked Dec 24, 2014 @ 11:34pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Dec 24, 2014 @ 11:44pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Dec 24, 2014 @ 11:16pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Dec 25, 2014 @ 8:43am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Jan 4, 2015 @ 5:29pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked Jan 5, 2015 @ 7:20pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked Jan 4, 2015 @ 8:56pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked Jan 4, 2015 @ 5:51pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked Jan 4, 2015 @ 5:28pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked May 23, 2019 @ 12:12pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked Jan 5, 2015 @ 7:40pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked Jan 4, 2015 @ 8:07pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked May 23, 2019 @ 7:46pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked May 23, 2019 @ 7:58pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

23 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

25 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

0 / 30

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

0 / 30

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30