49 people found this review helpful
4 people found this review funny
Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 2.4 hrs on record (1.5 hrs at review time)
Posted: Jan 13, 2017 @ 6:26pm

Early Access Review
Genital Jousting is a fun party game but you'll need to provide your own party.

Its "adult" nature aside, Genital Jousting is a pretty mechanically sound and fun game that pits a number of male genitals in competition where you must wriggle, squirm, penetrate, wrestle and eat (!) your way to victory over your fellow dongs. It's silly and really fairly innocent aside from the shapes of your players. They could have just as easily been snakes biting one another's tails and no one would blink. But the developers went with genitals and it's okay because, at its core, it's a solid and fun game. Also, wrestling wieners are just funny.

Game play has a traditional mode where you simply enter and be entered for points until the round is over. It's a good way to learn the mechanics but we quickly switched to Party Mode where you get a quick-fire sequence of contests including wrestling, races, herding li'l doggies and a, erm, Splatoon-style "paint the arena" level. Each mini game happens quickly and most are over within 30 seconds to a minute aside from the occasional wrestling stand-off. Although the mini games are technically locked, you can unlock them all in the options which is good since playing the same two over and over would get old fast. After five games, a winner is declared and you start all over. It's pretty simple and there isn't much depth but the controls are good, the game is colorful and fun to look at and everyone stayed amused for 90 minutes and left feeling good about the game.

A few quick points: One, the mini games could stand to be a little longer. I don't want to spend five minutes eating little blue pills with my butt, but some games are over within seconds and that just makes them repeat that much faster. Secondly, it's a little baffling that the developers don't offer a 4-game pack because you'll need to bring your own friends and you really want at least three people in a game (four is better). A 4-game pack instead of trying to convince three friends to buy in seems like an obvious choice. There's not much in the way of public games and engaging in dong-to-dong combat is best among friends.

If you can round up some friends who aren't above the humor and aren't expecting hours of play at a sitting, Genital Jousting is a surprisingly well made game featuring fast-paced play and lots of laughs for an hour or so at a time.
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6 Comments
Syntax Error Feb 13, 2017 @ 9:59am 
That's a shame. I didn't consider it a ding against the game so much as an oddity but a weird choice for Valve.
Georgie Roots Feb 13, 2017 @ 9:19am 
Valve are not allowing any 'multi-packs' of games anymore, same thing was said about GWYF at release early 2016 but nope.. apparently they arent allowed anymore
YourBadVibes Feb 11, 2017 @ 12:52pm 
I found this game in the "Great Story" section. Not even kidding
Syntax Error Jan 15, 2017 @ 6:22pm 
If I went hooking, I could get some insertion! And get paid!
Weiler Jan 15, 2017 @ 6:21pm 
maybe he just likes insertion over hooking?
Cheaplikeafox Jan 14, 2017 @ 6:21pm 
Interesting that this gets your thumbs up but not Dead By Daylight? Troll/Paid Review!