I saw a shop. They were selling monkeys for 5 cents. I bought 200 of them. I took them to my house. I had a car. It was cool. I let one of the monkeys drive it. His name was Rufus. He was a ♥♥♥♥♥♥. They were all retarded. They just kept hitting themselves in the genitals.

ALSO

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."

- Groucho Marx