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Recent reviews by A Jockey's Ballsack

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271.8 hrs on record (129.7 hrs at review time)
First, the good: It's Borderlands, so that's a big plus. It's got tons of Handsome Jack, another big plus. Clap, er, Fragtrap is surprisingly effective and not annoying, so no bonus points, but no points taken away either. Doppelganger Jack is the first DLC, so you can effectively PLAY AS JACK. Holy crap.

Bad stuff:

Every non-laser Legendary gun is a reskin/rename/tweaked version of a BL2 gun. It reeks of laziness. The KerBoom? KerBlaster with a *lower* fire rate. Fatale? The ♥♥♥♥♥, with lower fire rate and only available in Cryo element. They made a few new shields and grenades , but again, most are just reskins or renamed versions of BL2 stuff. Seriously, it's pathetic.

Remember how in BL1 and 2 you farmed bosses or special enemies for specific legendaries if you wanted it bad enough? TOO BAD! Only a handful of bosses and unique enemies are farmable now. The rest, you have to kill, search the loot, and alt+f4 if they don't drop it, then start the process over again.

Read about the Grinder somewhere. What you won't read about is how they effectively force you to use it by making chests SUCK HARD. The only way to guarantee blues or purple from a chest is to open a chest using 40 moonstones (this game's "Eridium"), and those chests are few and far between. They effectively killed the excitement of finding large chests in order to force you to use a mechanic nobody asked for.

Last problem: PADDED GAMEPLAY TIME. WOW. So many missions that go back and forth and back and forth across large areas with no vehicles and no fast travel, but plenty of pain-in-the-neck enemies. Yes, you're technically "playing", but only in the sense that you're moving a character across an area. If the unnecessary travel time were taken out, this would be the shortest game in the series by far.

There are lots of complaints about this being a $60 Borderlands 2 DLC, and to be honest, it does feel that way at times. But it's still fun overall if you're a Borderlands fan.
Posted November 4, 2014.
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