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83 of 85 (98%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Spring Fresh

Clean any map adequately
Unlocked Oct 12, 2017 @ 11:11pm

Employee of the Month

Get the Employee of the Month reward for your office
Unlocked Oct 12, 2017 @ 11:11pm

You're Fired!

Get fired!
Unlocked Oct 12, 2017 @ 11:46pm

Blood Soaked

Spill 100 dirty buckets
Unlocked Apr 21, 2018 @ 7:43am

Blaze of Glory

Incinerate 2000 items
Unlocked Dec 28, 2017 @ 6:52pm

Bloody Hell!

Mop up 10,000 splats
Unlocked Dec 25, 2017 @ 11:27am

Who's for Dinner?

Get eaten
Unlocked Oct 13, 2017 @ 10:52pm

Top Brass

Pick up 800 casings
Unlocked Jan 4, 2018 @ 3:14pm

Taking Out the Trash

Pick up 1000 pieces of trash
Unlocked Dec 28, 2017 @ 9:04pm

Ubermensch

Speedrun a map with at least %25 par time to spare
Unlocked Dec 14, 2018 @ 7:51pm

Pedestrian

Track over 20,000 footprints
Unlocked Jun 6, 2018 @ 9:48am

Janicide

Blow up a fellow worker with the help of an ominously bright-red explosive charge
Unlocked Jun 6, 2018 @ 10:25pm

Need a Hand?

Receive a total of 35 helping hands from the Slosh-O-Matic
Unlocked Aug 2, 2019 @ 7:35pm

Bins? Limbs!

Suffer the wrath of the Bin machine 75 times
Unlocked Jul 6, 2018 @ 6:19pm

First Aid

Restock a total of 50 medkits over your cleaning career by punching out of levels with medkits
Unlocked Apr 22, 2018 @ 4:00pm

The Nose Knows

Use the Sniffer for a total of 2 hours
Unlocked Jul 8, 2018 @ 11:43am

Chew on This!

Throw 100 items into sand traps
Unlocked Apr 30, 2018 @ 1:54pm

The Mops Of Wrath

Complete Athena's Wrath Level
Unlocked Dec 25, 2017 @ 12:20pm

Anti-Virus

Complete Caduceus Level
Unlocked Oct 15, 2017 @ 1:50pm

Ice-Cold Cleana

Complete Cryogenesis Level
Unlocked Oct 14, 2017 @ 5:01pm

Sandblasted

Complete Unearthly Excavation Level
Unlocked Apr 22, 2018 @ 3:41pm

Pine Fresh

Complete Hydroponic Hell Level
Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 7:57pm

Surgical Sweeper

Complete Evil Science Level
Unlocked Oct 13, 2017 @ 2:10pm

Deep-Sea Dry-cleaning

Complete Paintenance Level
Unlocked Jun 6, 2018 @ 10:48am

Operation Brownwash

Complete Waste Disposal Level
Unlocked Jun 6, 2018 @ 11:55am

Refined

Complete Unrefinery Level
Unlocked Apr 21, 2018 @ 8:35am

One Mop To Rule Them All

Complete All major Official Levels
Unlocked Jun 6, 2018 @ 11:55am

Pass The Torch

Take a lit flare from a fellow Janitor
Unlocked Oct 13, 2017 @ 1:50pm

Louis and Clean

Complete Gravity Drive Level
Unlocked Jun 5, 2018 @ 6:05pm

Big Banger Burnout

Tame the uncontrollable fury of the Big Banger by incinerating it
Unlocked Oct 13, 2017 @ 1:50pm

Clean Freak

Cleanup your own personal Office by removing any Trash, Viscera and Blood; excluding trophies, then leave
Unlocked Oct 13, 2017 @ 11:13pm

Employee of the Year

Receive 12 Employee of the Month awards
Unlocked Jun 4, 2018 @ 4:55pm

Identity Theft

Steal 30 or more Personal Identification Devices (P.I.Ds) from cleaned levels and take them to your office
Unlocked Apr 24, 2018 @ 6:48pm

Bring the Thunder

Take the Big Banger Supernova out of Unearthly Excavation and into another work-site and turn it on
Unlocked Jun 8, 2018 @ 6:54pm

Master of the Beats

Turn off the Big Banger while it's playing loudly(keep your music volume up too) in zero-gravity during a Solo game
Unlocked Oct 15, 2017 @ 12:02pm

Plague Bearer

Transfer a Goo-Jar to another work-site and infect something
Unlocked Jun 16, 2018 @ 2:45pm

Head Hunter

Collect a head from each species in cleaned levels and take them to your office
Unlocked Jun 6, 2018 @ 10:24pm

Brushed Steel

Complete Revolutionary Robotics Level
Unlocked Jan 4, 2018 @ 3:41pm

Bushwhacked

Complete Overgrowth Level
Unlocked Apr 21, 2018 @ 10:51am

Bob's Legacy

Find Bob
Unlocked Mar 30, 2018 @ 4:35pm

"Red Keycard"

Unlock Bob's super secret secret stash room
Unlocked Apr 22, 2018 @ 3:42pm

Keep It Secret, Keep It Safe

Find all the unique and hidden collectibles and return them to your office
Unlocked Jun 5, 2018 @ 6:05pm

Eggregious

Find all the hidden painted eggs and return them to your office
Unlocked Apr 24, 2018 @ 5:14pm

Lost in Space and Time

Get consumed by an inter-dimensional crack in space-time
Unlocked Dec 27, 2017 @ 9:48am

Wicked Unliving

Collect the chainsaw, boomstick, cursed hand and the evil book and return them to your office
Unlocked Oct 16, 2017 @ 8:53am

Thursday the 12th

Collect the mask and machete and return them to your office
Unlocked Oct 16, 2017 @ 8:53am

Bad Dreams on Helm Street

Collect the clawed glove and return it to your office
Unlocked Oct 16, 2017 @ 8:53am

Harroween

Collect the white mask and butcher knife and return them to your office
Unlocked Oct 16, 2017 @ 8:53am

The Shimmering

Collect the axe and return it to your office
Unlocked Oct 16, 2017 @ 8:53am

Never Put It On

Collect the ring and return it to your office
Unlocked Oct 16, 2017 @ 8:53am

House of Honor

Clean the entire House of Horror level
Unlocked Jun 11, 2018 @ 1:06pm

Back From Whence It Came

Destroy the Bad Banger
Unlocked Oct 16, 2017 @ 9:51am

Not Quite a Lumberjack

Destroy 200 items in the woodchipper
Unlocked Jun 9, 2018 @ 6:09pm

Cleanliness is Godliness

Completely clean all mess in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked May 4, 2018 @ 1:30pm

Sanitized Earth

Completely clean all mess and destroy every item in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked Jun 6, 2018 @ 10:58pm

Bloody Incompetent

Prove your incompetence by leaving a worse mess in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked Jun 6, 2018 @ 10:28pm

St. Nick's Boomstick

Collect Santa's shotgun and bring it back to your office
Unlocked Oct 14, 2017 @ 9:15pm

The Red Nose Knows

Collect the iconic reindeer nose and bring it back to your office
Unlocked Oct 14, 2017 @ 9:15pm

Rooks Kept

Collect the different Rooks Keep figurines and take them back to your office
Unlocked Oct 14, 2017 @ 9:23pm

Ballistic Weaponry

Collect the different Ballistic Weapons toys and bring them back to your office
Unlocked May 5, 2018 @ 7:29am

Thunder Candle

Requisition a new replacement janitor through the use of TNT
Unlocked Oct 14, 2017 @ 9:13pm

Head Hunter

Collect elf heads and bring them back to your office, you freakin' psycho!
Unlocked Dec 14, 2018 @ 6:38pm

Santa Hats Must Die!

Incinerate 50 Santa hats, the symbol of everything you hate
Unlocked Dec 14, 2018 @ 6:36pm

Tower of Babel

Build a stack of 10 stools
Unlocked Oct 14, 2017 @ 8:35pm

The Day the Funk Died

Bring about the sad meeting of Ice-Cold Banger and fire
Unlocked Oct 14, 2017 @ 10:28pm

Cold Storage

Complete Frostbite Level
Unlocked Oct 12, 2017 @ 11:11pm

Biomassive Breakdown

Complete Incubation Emergency Level
Unlocked Jun 4, 2018 @ 4:55pm

Sanitary Supremacy

Completely clean the entire Shadow Warrior temple level
Unlocked Oct 14, 2017 @ 3:17pm

Mr. Two Million Dollars

Collect the two million dollars of cold hard cash from the Shadow Warrior level all at once and bring it back to your office
Unlocked May 29, 2018 @ 12:37pm

Swept Under The Carpet

Complete Uprinsing Level
Unlocked Dec 29, 2017 @ 7:28pm

Crystal Clear

Complete Core Sample Level
Unlocked Dec 15, 2018 @ 12:08pm

Pest Control

Complete Pestilent Penitentiary Level
Unlocked Apr 13, 2019 @ 5:17pm

Bleach and Clear

Complete Penumbra Level
Unlocked Apr 16, 2019 @ 2:32pm

Audacious Oddities

Find all the unique Collectibles in the Vulcan Affair and return them to your office
Unlocked Dec 14, 2018 @ 2:24pm

Lair Care

Clean the entire Vulcan Affair level
Unlocked Dec 14, 2018 @ 2:22pm

Teeth for Tunes

Bring about the unfortunate meeting of Double-Oh Banger and Shark
Unlocked Dec 14, 2018 @ 3:22pm

Blood in the Water

Go for a swim with Sharks
Unlocked Dec 14, 2018 @ 11:01am

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Tank

Feed the ever hungry Sharks 500 items they can either devour or destroy
Unlocked Dec 14, 2018 @ 1:46pm

Double-Oh Dumbass

Foolishly activate the Death Ray
Unlocked Dec 14, 2018 @ 12:52pm

Locked In

Lock another player inside a holding cell where they belong
Unlocked Apr 21, 2019 @ 5:50pm

Death From Above

Get turned into mist by an orbital beam weapon
Unlocked Dec 14, 2018 @ 3:27pm

Cat-astrophe

Using an orbital beam weapon, destroy the symbol of your most hated overlord; cats!
Unlocked Dec 14, 2018 @ 3:27pm

Orbital Bang-bardment

Allow the Banger to ascend to its rightful place among the heavens through the use of an orbital beam weapon
Unlocked Dec 14, 2018 @ 3:28pm



Disintegrator

Fry 500 items with the plasma welder
252 / 500

Christmas Crisis Corrected

Completely clean Santa's Workshop without breaking any Christmas items and clock off
0 / 1