Recent reviews by [NEET] Jɑhens 🐸

Step 1: Be a saiyan
Step 2: Go super saiyan
Step 3: Unlimited Ults

Who thought this was a good idea?
10/10 git gud

Hello weary traveller, i find myself in quite a dire situation!
Oh, excuse me while i just settle myself into your camp here.

There we are. Now then, could you find it in your heart to save my family?
Great! That'll be $9.99 USD. Why do you look so upset?

STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM
STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM
STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM
STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM
STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM

A half decent griefing/autism/asteroid mining simulator that became so bogged down and unoptimized that it now requires sixteen gigs of ram and a 780 to run.
I literally can't even run it anymore.

To the devs, "neck urselve"

A short game with poorly balanced combat, merchants and skill progression, all i can really say it's got going for it is the witcher's story and characters.

Monsters essentially do not play any significant part in gaining experience, almost all of your experience will be gained from completing quests and nothing else.
Further, monster loot and other crafting items are heavy, worth nothing to merchants and not particularly useful. Beyond collecting items for quests just to get xp, it's not really worth picking up anything that isn't a better sword or piece of armour.

Almost nothing is worth selling to merchants except in very large amounts - which will fill up your available space quickly.
The value ratio is apparently 24-1, meaning that merchants sell items at 24 times the price for which they will buy them.

The game appears poorly optimized and buggy, and i'm almost positive that it was a console port. The combat mechanics are especially terrible on keyboard and i found myself forced to use a gamepad, else having to reach all the way across my keyboard to use a sign quick key. Further, it seems that you cannot rebind your keys from within the game, nor change your graphics settings. This has to be done from the launcher, or by manually editing the files.

It also seems that almost all mods you could get for the game work by simply overwriting previously existing files - more stat tweaks and texture replacers than anything. As a result, most mods overwrite the same file meaning that they cannot be used together unless you use special modding tools which may or may not be available anymore to manually combine them. There are very few mods for the witcher 2, and one can only wonder why.

The game has numerous references to other franchises such as south park and lord of the rings. It does little more than break my immersion when i hear geralt talking about collecting one of the 20 legendary rings of power and throwing it into a volcano barefoot during a serious conversation.

It is not possible to even come close to fully unlocking each skill tree as you reach your maximum level long before then.

There are no invincibility frames when dodging, meaning you can be easily surrounded and stunlocked when a large group of enemies pop up and surround you, which happens many times. A good example of this would be the harpy queen's nest.

I went the magic route in my skill tree, and i have to say that the majority of spells are essentially useless, even with a completely non-upgraded sword skill tree and fully upgraded magic tree i found myself relying almost entirely on my sword.

Igni does essentially no damage compared to a sword, far from enough to kill but the weakest of enemies, and is only remotely useful against large numbers which are tightly grouped once fully upgraded, as it recieves an AOE effect with a very short range.
Quen is probably the most helpful in a lot of situations, but the fact that it stops vigor regeneration means that you cannot use other spells alongside it against more than a few enemies, but then other spells don't do much anyways.
Axii can be useful against groups of enemies in tight quarters, essentially where they must pass through a door single file - causing the brainwashed enemy to block the door and give you a moment to collect yourself. Otherwise, it wears off quickly even when fully upgraded and doesn't do much more than take some pressure off temporarily.
Yrden is only useful against perhaps one to three enemies - preventing them from circling you and stabbing you in the back while you take care of the others, or against single large and powerful enemies that you can't simply stunlock with your sword - which i found to be few and far between. Further, if you strike an enemy which has been stunned by yrden, they are no longer stunned and can immediately attack and chase you.

TL;DR
If you liked the original witcher or the witcher three and want to get the story inbetween then go for it, but i can't say i'll be likely to play this game again now that it's finally over.

An incredible window in the life and mind of a liberal college student.
I especially liked the part where everything was incredibly diverse.

Queen Barenziah took that barbed cat ♥♥♥♥ like a champ

It's bretty gud if you mod everything to be different.
Protip - if she comes up screaming "ONII-CHAAAAN" don't accept her hugs

If you liked harvest moon, you'll like this.
Be ready to lose many hours of your life playing farmer if you get hooked.

Apparently garry has decided that you don't own the game you've purchased and he's going to decide what you can and cannot do with it from now on.