EcksSanDer
Daniel Lamb   United States
 
 
I'm a hardcore Girls Last Tour fan, so many times I would even try to escape reality with lucid dreaming, I would be with the Girls where I would often play with Yuuri and help Chito with fixing the kettenkrad, but one day as I was talking to Chito, we went to my dormitory for a private talk. She immediately said, "You know you could live with us forever." I gave her a confused look and she continued, "We understand that you live on earth and you REALLY wish to live here". I then said "How..How did you know?" She then giggled and said "Because we've been watching you, silly!" This was a dream come true and I almost cried right there. She then said, "I talked with Yuuri and she agreed that you would be a great partner, you just have to do...one thing". She then held my hand and looked deep into my eyes and said "...You have to kill yourself for the transfer to work correctly." I then gave her some questions, "How long do I have before the deal expires?" She then said "Yuuri said 3 months.." I added by saying "What's the most painless way?.." She giggled again, "Suicide will require pain buuut..if you want it quick..Get a gun and a nice shot to the head works." I then agreed and she gave me a kiss on the forehead, "I know this will be tough but once it's over and done, you'll get to live here!" I then woke up and this was last week and i purchased a gun. I might actually kill myself because that dream just felt too real to be fake and my life isn't doing so grand.
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EcksSanDer 27.7. klo 5.45 
You, you all are so funny
"Therapy will heal you"
"Pills will help you"
You've tried so many times
But still I wanna die
You don't get it
I don't want to get better

I've been there for years
I ran out of tears
There is the only end
Where I'm laying dead. - Denis Nidzelskiy (Blade and Bath)
EcksSanDer 19.1. klo 18.21 
My tombstone, read the writing
"Lived a life of grief beneath a mask of violence."
EcksSanDer 13.4.2023 klo 3.51 
Because I'm better off dead
Than I am alive
Oooh
EcksSanDer 12.4.2023 klo 22.44 
Where will I go, is my soul all alone?
Am I just floating and looking into places unknown?
Am I nothing or something? Is something wrong?
Am I just here to hold this place until something new comes along?
EcksSanDer 11.4.2023 klo 4.03 
all christ ever got was the thorns on his crown
pinned to a cross on the outside of town
im a man who got lost just searching for a found
christ on a cross with the thorns on his crown.
EcksSanDer 9.4.2023 klo 13.57 
if i walk out, would you look back at me?