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59 of 59 (100%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Got a Car and a Date

Complete "Welcome to the Age of Metal"
Unlocked May 23 @ 1:01pm

Start a Revolution

Complete "Exploited in the Bowels of Hell"
Unlocked May 23 @ 1:37pm

Thick as a Baby's Arm

Complete "Lair of the Metal Queen"
Unlocked May 24 @ 9:42am

Hair Remover

Complete "Battle for Bladehenge"
Unlocked May 24 @ 2:54pm

French Kiss Instructor

Complete "Pilgrimage of Screams"
Unlocked May 25 @ 4:07am

Chicks n' Booze n' Stuff

Complete "Sanctuary of Sin"
Unlocked May 25 @ 12:43pm

Ran to the Hills

Complete "It's Raining Death"
Unlocked May 25 @ 1:03pm

Fistful of Fog

Complete "Dry Ice, Wet Graves"
Unlocked May 27 @ 1:47pm

No More Tears

Complete "Sea of Black Tears"
Unlocked May 29 @ 12:57pm

Overkill

Complete all hunting secondary missions
Unlocked May 27 @ 12:44pm

Squeal Like a Chicken

Complete all racing secondary missions
Unlocked May 26 @ 9:28am

Protector

Complete 20 ambush, outpost defense, or mortar secondary missions
Unlocked May 25 @ 2:29pm

Metal God

Achieve 100% completion on the stats screen
Unlocked Jun 1 @ 4:23am

Serpent Samaritan

Free 40 Bound Serpents
Unlocked May 24 @ 1:22pm

Serpent Spanker

Free 80 Bound Serpents
Unlocked May 25 @ 3:15pm

Serpent Savior

Free all 120 Bound Serpents
Unlocked May 29 @ 1:54pm

One Hit Wonder

Purchase 1 upgrade in the Motor Forge
Unlocked May 24 @ 9:52am

Loyal Customer

Purchase all upgrades in the Motor Forge
Unlocked May 26 @ 12:27pm

Virtuoso

Learn all guitar solos
Unlocked May 29 @ 1:35pm

Tourist

View all vistas
Unlocked May 27 @ 1:55pm

Now You Must Tell the Tale

View all Legends
Unlocked May 29 @ 2:51pm

Voices From Beyond

Unlock all songs in the Mouth of Metal
Unlocked May 29 @ 2:42pm

Flowerslave

Summon all Motor Forges
Unlocked May 26 @ 9:28am

Practice Bloody Practice

Win an AI stage battle - any difficulty
Unlocked May 31 @ 2:09pm

Victör

Win a ranked multiplayer match
Unlocked Jun 3 @ 2:33pm

Subjügator

Win 10 match-made multiplayer battles.
Unlocked Jun 3 @ 2:55pm

Cönquerer

Win 50 match-made multiplayer battles.
Unlocked Jun 3 @ 3:45pm

Master of the Flame

Double Team with every Ironheade unit
Unlocked May 29 @ 3:06pm

Master of the Tear

Double Team with every Drowning Doom unit
Unlocked Jun 1 @ 4:39am

Master of the Blood

Double Team with every Tainted Coil unit
Unlocked Jun 1 @ 4:50am

Armchair General

Win a single-player Stage Battle against the AI using only orders
Unlocked May 31 @ 3:25pm

Favored

Acquire 3,000 Fire Tributes
Unlocked May 26 @ 9:56am

Sellout

Spend 250,000 fans - any mode
Unlocked Jun 6 @ 12:55pm

Some Demon Flesh on your Bumper

Slay 150 enemies with the Deuce - any mode
Unlocked May 26 @ 7:47am

I've never touched an axe before

Personally smote 300 enemies - any mode
Unlocked May 25 @ 12:30pm

Silence, ground walker!

Gain 5 or more seconds of hang time in a single jump - any mode
Unlocked May 26 @ 7:30am

Six Degrees of Schafer

Play with or against another player who has this Achievement
Unlocked Jun 3 @ 2:33pm

Ringleader

Trap 15 enemies in one ring of fire with the Fire Baron's Double Team
Unlocked May 31 @ 5:25pm

Painkiller

Kill 25 enemies with the grinder of one Rock Crusher
Unlocked Jun 3 @ 2:54pm

Dollpocalypse

Hit 6 enemies with the explosion from a Brood's Double Team
Unlocked Jun 1 @ 5:38am

Euthanasia

Hit 15 enemies with one Agony Ball using the Pain Lifter's Double Team
Unlocked Jun 3 @ 3:16pm

Death From Above

Kill 20 enemies with one Bleeding Death
Unlocked Jun 3 @ 3:22pm

Coolest Thing Ever

Jump over a Hextadon in the Deuce
Unlocked May 27 @ 12:40pm

Beast Master

Ride one of every ridable animal.
Unlocked May 31 @ 12:52pm

Boar Bather

Ride a Razorfire Boar into the Sea of Black Tears and live to tell the tale.
Unlocked May 29 @ 4:43pm

Quill Tosser

Kill a Tollusk using only Ground Urchins
Unlocked May 25 @ 4:41am

Groupie

Complete Campaign mode on Gentle
Unlocked May 29 @ 2:42pm

Roadie

Complete Campaign mode on Normal
Unlocked May 29 @ 2:42pm

Legend

Complete Campaign mode on Brütal
Unlocked May 29 @ 2:42pm

Iron Fist

Win an AI stage battle - Brütal difficulty
Unlocked May 31 @ 2:13pm

Carnivore

Run down 20 animals in the Deuce with the Coiling Maw equipped.
Unlocked May 29 @ 2:44pm

If You Want Blood, You Got It

Kill 20 Tainted Coil units with the Disgorger.
Unlocked May 29 @ 3:56pm

Cry Me a River

Kill 20 Drowning Doom units with the Eye of Sorrow.
Unlocked May 26 @ 7:46am

Beard Beard Action Beard!

Make out with Ophelia while wearing the Mountain Man Threads.
Unlocked May 29 @ 4:01pm

A Face Like a Beast

Kill 15 enemies with a Metal Beast while wearing the Zaulia Threads.
Unlocked May 29 @ 3:19pm

Hammer of Infinite Fate Tourist

Play a multiplayer game on all Hammer of Infinite Fate multiplayer maps.
Unlocked Jun 1 @ 4:58am

Hammer of Fate Champion

Win 10 games on Hammer of Infinite Fate maps - ranked or vs. the Brütal AI.
Unlocked May 31 @ 2:52pm

Whispering Rock

Chisel four Razputin heads onto Mt. Rockmore.
Unlocked May 25 @ 12:48pm

Norwegian Sendoff

Visit the grave of a fallen hero while wearing the Black Metal Threads.
Unlocked May 29 @ 4:12pm