D A N C I N G's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Dec 28, 2015 @ 7:36pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Dec 25, 2015 @ 12:36am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Dec 25, 2015 @ 12:21am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Dec 25, 2015 @ 12:32am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Dec 25, 2015 @ 1:19am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Dec 28, 2015 @ 8:23pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Dec 28, 2015 @ 9:57pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Dec 29, 2015 @ 8:58pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2015 @ 7:06pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2015 @ 8:36pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Jan 1, 2016 @ 7:42pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked Jan 16, 2016 @ 7:43pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked Aug 6, 2016 @ 11:07pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked Jan 16, 2016 @ 2:22am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2015 @ 5:25pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked Dec 28, 2015 @ 9:34pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked Jan 27, 2016 @ 11:03pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Dec 31, 2015 @ 2:35pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked Jan 23, 2016 @ 2:02pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2015 @ 8:41pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked Jan 1, 2016 @ 7:26pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked Dec 25, 2015 @ 12:29am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Dec 29, 2015 @ 8:55pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2015 @ 10:42pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked Aug 18, 2016 @ 12:39pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Dec 29, 2015 @ 8:41pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2015 @ 8:39pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Dec 25, 2015 @ 12:56am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked Dec 25, 2015 @ 12:21am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked Jan 17, 2016 @ 2:28am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Dec 31, 2015 @ 2:25pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked Jan 14, 2016 @ 9:43pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked Jan 20, 2016 @ 7:16pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Dec 28, 2015 @ 10:09pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Dec 25, 2015 @ 1:21am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked Jan 27, 2016 @ 10:48pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2015 @ 4:58pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Dec 28, 2015 @ 8:51pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Dec 31, 2015 @ 12:13am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Dec 31, 2015 @ 4:01pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked Dec 29, 2015 @ 8:25pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked Jan 27, 2016 @ 10:35pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2015 @ 10:38pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked Feb 25, 2018 @ 11:58am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked Jan 28, 2016 @ 9:45pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked Dec 31, 2015 @ 3:10pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked Jan 16, 2016 @ 5:19pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked Dec 28, 2015 @ 10:02pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked Jan 16, 2016 @ 2:39am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked Feb 18, 2018 @ 11:12pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

10 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

16 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30