Garfield
Garfield The Cat
 
 
One day I was asleep
I heard a puppy yapping
Can't stand dogs
Who interrupt my napping
So I went to have a chat with Odie
Told the puppy dog he ought to hit the road
He said, "No way"
Tried to contradict me
That was when the little puppy licked me
Oh, how I want to kick and clobber
When I get covered with doggy slobber
But I was polite as I was able
And I kicked the doggy off the table
Landed on the floor, right in a heap
Next time, he won't interrupt my sleep
The guy I lived with got real sore
I said, "Hey, what are puppies for?"

That's called being a cat
(Lie around, get fat)
That's what it takes to be a cat
(Meow)
That's called being a cat
(Lie around, get fat)
You'll be sitting pretty, kitty-cat
You might also like
Agora Hills
Doja Cat
Lose Yourself
Eminem
Mockingbird
Eminem
Just last night
I was having a snack
And this guy comes in
With a sackful of food
He said it was really great
Made for cats who are a little overweight
Well, he persisted with his plan
So I scoped the label out on the can
Beef by-products is how they try
To sell parts of the cow they can't identify
Well, he said it was good for my waist
And he forced me to take a little taste
I thought the stuff that he brought home
Tasted like ground up Styrofoam
He gave me a bowl
But I couldn't complete it
I said "Hey, if it's so good
Why don't you eat it?"

Late at night I go out on the fence
Down the street from my residence
I bring my horn and I play a little jam
Starting at 3:00, maybe 4:00 a.m
People in the building
Right across the way
Get a special kind of treat
When I start their day
Is there any better one
To start off all their morns
Than the coolest cat
With the hottest of horns?
I play some jazz, and I play some blues
And they offer tips in the form of shoes
Come the morning
They walk out on the street
Lots of folks in their little stocking feet
But I am pleased to make them all a deal
Pays for a heck of a breakfast meal
Chorus

When I'm in the park
People always want to pat
The furry head of a kitty cat
How many times have I heard it said
"Oh, he's cute" as they rub my head?
It was fun long ago
But the fun's been fading
I used to find the thing quite degrading
Until I came up with a solution
All I needed was
A little financial restitution
People pet me now and all is fine
Until I show them the price list on my sign
Pet the kitty on the head and neck
I accept credit cards, cash, or check
And next week our special rate begins
For folks who want to scratch me
Under my chin

When I'm around
Women make a beeline
When they catch sight of this classy feline
Saturday night I pick up my date
That's the time we must celebrate
Some guys are trouble, some guys are fun
I'm Michael Jackson all rolled into one
She has more fun than she's ever known
Still, she'll yearn for that moment alone
That's the moment that goes to the heart
Then I smell something and quickly depart
What's so important
I'll leave her with ease?
Homemade lasagna with plenty of cheese
This is the end of The Garfield Rap
Now pass me a pillow, it's time for my nap
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Featured Artwork Showcase
Mommeow-
Favorite Group
garfield is hot and i want to drink his cum
358
Members
15
In-Game
94
Online
43
In Chat
Featured Artwork Showcase
Ooooh mama-
When I was 18... 18 years old, I saw for the first time in my life...
I saw an image of clarity. I saw a comic strip... a three panel comic strip that, though simple as it seemed, changed me... changed my being, changed who I am... Made me who I am...

Enlightened me...

The strip, Garfield, the comic strip was new... no more than maybe a month and a half since inception, since... since coming into existence... and there it was before me in print, I saw it... a comic strip... What was it called?

Garfield.

The story here is of a man, a plain man. He is Jon, but he is more than that... I will get to this later, but first let us say that he's Jon, a plain man.

And then there is a cat... Garfield.

This is the nature of the world, here. When I see the world, the politics, the future, the... the satellites in space, and... the people who put them there...

You can look at everything as a man and a cat... two beings, in harmony and at war...

So, this strip I saw; this man, Jon, and the cat, Garfield, you see...

Yes... hmm...

It is about everything. This... little comic is, oh, lo and behold... not so little anymore.

So yes, when I was 18, I saw this comic... and it hit me all at once, its power. I clipped it, and every day, I looked at it, and I said "Okay... let me look at this here. What is this doing to me? Why is this so powerful?"

Jon Arbuckle, he sits here, legs crossed... comfortable in his home, and he reads his newspaper... The news of the world, perhaps... and then he extends his fingers lightly, delicately... he taps his fingers on an end table, and he feels for something...

What is it? It is something he needs, but it is not there.

And then he looks up, slightly cockeyed, and he thinks... His newspaper's in his lap now, and he thinks this...

Now where could my pipe be?

This... I always come to this, because I was a young man... I'm older now, and I still don't have the secrets, the answers, so this question still rings true, Jon looks up and he thinks...

Now where could my pipe be?

And then it happens... You see it, you see... it's almost like divine intervention, suddenly it is there, and it overpowers you...

A cat is smoking a pipe.

It is the man's pipe, it's Jon's pipe, but the cat... this cat, Garfield, is smoking the pipe... and from afar, and someplace near, but not clear... near but not clear... The man calls out... Jon calls out, he is shocked. "Garfield!" he shouts.

Garfield. The cat's name.

But, let's take a step back... let us examine this from all sides, all perspectives... and when I first came across this comic strip, I was at my father's house... a newspaper had arrived, and I picked it up for him, and brought it inside.

I organized its sections for him and then, yes, the comic strip section fell out from somewhere in the middle, and landed on the kitchen floor... I picked up the paper pages and saw, up somewhere near the top of this strip... just like Jon, I was wearing an aquamarine shirt.

So I thought, "Ah, interesting. I'll have to see this later." I snipped out the little comic, and held on to it... and five days later, I reexamined it... and it gripped me, I needed to find out more about this. The information I had was minimal, but enough...

An orange cat named Garfield...

Okay, that seemed to be the lynchpin of this whole operation, yes. Another clue... a signature in the bottom right corner, a man's name...

Jim Davis.

Yes, I'm on to it for sure.

So... one: Garfield, orange cat, and two: Jim Davis, the creator of this cat...

And that curiously plain man.

I did not know, at the time, that his name was Jon. This strip, you see, had no mention of this man's name, and I'd never seen it before.

But I had these clues; Jim Davis, Garfield.

And then I saw more, I spotted the tiny copyright mark in the upper left corner. Copyright 1978 to... what is this? Copyright belongs to a... PAWS Incorporated...

I use the local library and mail services to track down the information I was looking for...

Jim Davis, a cartoonist, had created a comic strip about a cat, Garfield... and a man, Jon Arbuckle. Well, from that point on, I made sure I read the Garfield comic strips, though as I read each one, as each day passed... the strips seemed to resonate with me less and less...

I sent letters to PAWS Incorporated, long letters, pages upon pages... asking if Mister Jim Davis could somehow publish just the one comic, over and over again... "It would be meditative," I wrote, "the strength of that."

Could you imagine?

But... no response... The strips lost their power, and eventually I stopped reading, but... I did not want my perceptions diluted, so I vowed to read the pipe strip over and over again... That is what I call it, "The Pipe Strip."

The Pipe Strip.

Everything about it is perfect. I can only describe it as a miracle creation, something came together... the elements aligned... It is like the comets, the cosmic orchestra that is up there over your head... The immense, enormous void is working all for one thing, to tell you one thing...

Gas and rock, and purity, and nothing.

I will say this... When I see the pipe strip... and I mean every single time I look at the lines, the colors, the shapes that make up the three panel comic...

I see perfection.

Do I find perfection in many things?

Some things, I would say... Some things are perfect... and this is one of them. I can look at the little tuft of hair on Jon Arbuckle's head... it is the perfect shade... The purple pipe in Garfield's mouth... How could a mere mortal even MAKE this?

I have a theory, about Jim Davis...

After copious research and, yes, of course, now we have the internet, and this information is all readily available, but...

Jim Davis, he used his life experiences to influence his comic...

Like I mentioned before, none of them seem to have the weight of the pipe strip... But you have to wonder about the man who is able to even, just once, create the perfect form, a literally flawless execution of art, brilliance! Just as in a ward... I think there is a spiritual element at work...

I've seen my share of bad times and... when you have something... Well, it's just... emotions, and neurons in your brain, but... something tells you that it's the truth...

Truth's radiant light.

Garfield, the cat? Neurons in my brain, it's... it's harmony, you see? It... Jon and Garfield, it's truly harmony, like a... continuous, looping, everlasting harmony... The lavender chair, the brown end table, the salmon-colored wall, the fore's green carpeting, Garfield is hunched, perched... perhaps with the pipe stuck firmly between his jowls... His tail curls around. It's more than shapes too, because... I...

Okay, stay with me... I've done this experiment several times.

You take the strip. You trace only the basic elements. You can do anything, you can simplify the shapes down to just... blobs, just outlines, but it still makes sense...

You can replace the blobs with magazine cutouts of other things, replace Jon Arbuckle with a... car parked in a driveway sideways, cut that out of a magazine, stick it in... Replace him there in the second panel with a... a food processor... Okay, and then we put a picture of the planet in the third panel over Garfield...

It still works.

These are universal proportions. I don't know... how best to explain why it works, I've studied the pipe strip, and analyzed Jon and Garfield's proportions against several universal mathematical constants.

E, Pi, the Golden Ratio, the Feigenbaum Constants, and so on... and it's surprising... scary even, how things align. You can take just... tiny pieces of the pipe strip, for instance, take Jon's elbow from the second panel... and take that, and project it back over Jon's entire shape in the second panel, and you'll see a near perfect Fibonacci sequence emerge...

It's eerie to me... and it makes you wonder if you're in the presence of a de
Recent Activity
104 hrs on record
last played on Jun 1
128 hrs on record
last played on May 29
123 hrs on record
last played on May 28