MERRRRRY CHRRRRRRISTMASS, YE SCULLYWAGGER!

What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil.

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▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ U HAVE BEEN SPOOKED BY THE
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░░░░░░▐▌▀▄▀▄▀▐▄SPOOKY SKILENTON
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░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░▐▌SEND THIS TO 7 PPL OR SKELINTONS WILL EAT YOU

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

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▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ U HAVE BEEN SPOOKED BY THE
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░░░░░░░▀███▀█░▄
░░░░░░▐▌▀▄▀▄▀▐▄SPOOKY SKILENTON
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░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░▐▌SEND THIS TO 7 PPL OR SKELINTONS WILL EAT YOU

DUNDUNDUn