Recent reviews by John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

wheres minos prime?

This game is truly one of a kind. Everything from the gameplay to the graphics are unique, each room has a different effect that makes it feel meaningful (even rooms with zero effects like hallways still feel important), the music is beautiful and most of the puzzles are really well designed, with the earlier ones even having multiple ways to solve them, not to mention the worldbuilding is extremely in-depth and a whole new puzzle by itself.

With that said this game is absolutely not for everyone, as you are expected to have notepad open in the background for a majority of the puzzles, and it is by itself a massive timesink. The average run can last up to an hour, maybe 90 minutes if your making a lot of progress, and you cant save midrun so you have to set aside a lot of time before playing. There are also a few other problems, the most popular one being a heavy reliance on RNG, but the game also gives you several ways to tilt the odds in your favor and I never personally had a problem with it.

Overall I would recommend this to anyone who likes puzzle games and roguelikes, and its been nominated for several awards, so if this sounds like something you would like then give it a try!

Dont get me wrong this is a great game. The graphics look nice, the music is amazing and all the survivors are fun to play while still feeling different from one another (except commando that ones kinda ass).
So why the negative review? After the seekers dlc released, I took a break for around a year. When I came back, I had to agree to some new EULA that takes away all of your legal rights in order to keep playing. In other words my own product, which I bought with my own money, was being ransomed from me.

Great game, ♥♥♥♥ Take-Two

All around good mod, has a good story and chambers, lighting looks really nice and the new mechanics dont feel too complicated or out of place. The dual portal gun takes a bit too long to unlock though

Added the pillory

I was told to review this for a steam awards badge so im just going to leave this here

Crystal plorts plummeted by 70%. I'll never financially recover from this

Hot garbage, just like my pc when trying to run this

They banned the bots

now let f2p use voice commands

Had a slime noclip into my house. 10/10 game