I'm an idealistic pessimist but I live the way things are.
I’m very idealistic in the sense I want to do a lot; Make a Game, Create Worlds, Write a Story, Become a V-tuber, and learn something new completely. Perhaps my dreams are too unrealistic, but I remain idealistic.
I’m pessimistic because I think I’m average at all of these but I will never excel since I am interested in far too many things and don’t know what to focus on.

In short, Sometimes I’m really positive and sometimes I’m really negative.