adr's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Aug 6, 2014 @ 11:04pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Aug 9, 2014 @ 10:39pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Aug 7, 2014 @ 11:54pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked Aug 9, 2014 @ 10:32pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Aug 7, 2014 @ 12:24am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked Jan 2, 2015 @ 8:43pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Aug 7, 2014 @ 1:05am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Aug 9, 2014 @ 1:01am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Aug 10, 2014 @ 12:50am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Dec 21, 2014 @ 4:55pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Jan 2, 2015 @ 7:25pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked Jan 20, 2015 @ 6:34pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked Jan 28, 2015 @ 9:37pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked Jan 28, 2015 @ 10:55pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Aug 10, 2014 @ 12:24am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked Aug 9, 2014 @ 10:51pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked Dec 23, 2014 @ 4:17pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked Dec 21, 2014 @ 4:39pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked Aug 9, 2014 @ 11:00pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked Dec 21, 2014 @ 4:27pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked Aug 9, 2014 @ 11:58pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked Dec 23, 2014 @ 2:42pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Aug 8, 2014 @ 2:09am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked Aug 7, 2014 @ 4:21pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked Aug 9, 2014 @ 2:23am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked Aug 8, 2014 @ 2:19am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked Aug 6, 2014 @ 11:57pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Aug 8, 2014 @ 3:47am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked Aug 8, 2014 @ 3:19am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked Dec 23, 2014 @ 4:14pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked Dec 22, 2014 @ 11:32am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Dec 21, 2014 @ 4:07pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked Jan 20, 2015 @ 6:58pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Dec 23, 2014 @ 4:21pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked Aug 10, 2014 @ 12:39am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked Dec 21, 2014 @ 4:55pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Aug 6, 2014 @ 11:01pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked Aug 9, 2014 @ 1:21am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked Jan 2, 2015 @ 8:49pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked Dec 22, 2014 @ 7:01pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked Aug 9, 2014 @ 10:51pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked Dec 21, 2014 @ 4:56pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Aug 6, 2014 @ 11:20pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Aug 7, 2014 @ 1:08am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked Dec 22, 2014 @ 11:26am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Aug 6, 2014 @ 10:54pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Aug 6, 2014 @ 10:58pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Aug 9, 2014 @ 1:21am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Aug 7, 2014 @ 1:12am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked Aug 11, 2014 @ 11:09pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked Aug 9, 2014 @ 11:17pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked Aug 9, 2014 @ 1:29am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked Dec 23, 2014 @ 2:34pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked Aug 9, 2014 @ 11:10pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked Jan 28, 2015 @ 11:23pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked Aug 7, 2014 @ 12:59am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked Jan 2, 2015 @ 6:55pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked Aug 8, 2014 @ 12:39am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked Aug 7, 2014 @ 11:59pm

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked Jan 2, 2015 @ 6:36pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked Aug 8, 2014 @ 3:20am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked Jan 28, 2015 @ 9:38pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked Jan 5, 2016 @ 10:35pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked Jan 7, 2016 @ 5:13pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked Jan 10, 2016 @ 11:53am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked Jan 5, 2016 @ 9:26pm

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Unlocked Jan 9, 2016 @ 10:25pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

4 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

1,795 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

2 / 30