We are bogans. Everyone is related to everyone else at least five times.

We live in Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Yes, there is a place called Intercourse.

Once upon a time there was a lonely young filly named Toasty. She was extremely... lonely and at the ripe young age of 43. Soon she found another equally lonely young colt/filly/possible hermaphrodite named Darkling. They had 4 children (possibly much more) and then left each other for other honest Intercoursians. Toasty was left with the children and spent the rest of her life in the country home that she always lived in. Starseeker was a boy, Frenchie was a girl, Shifter was a boy and Awan was a girl. When they grew up, Shifter and Awan had 2 children. The eldest was Permafrost, then Darkness. However, after Saber appeared out of thin air, he was adopted into the family as the eldest.

When Shifter had a godly encounter with the God of Moonshots, Homeruns and Incest - Matt, Shifter made a drastic decision to have a sex change. However, due to a pair of rusty tweezers, five golden rings, two turtle doves and a bloody partridge in a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ tree squawking away and annoying the doctors, Shifter only ended up with a massive pair of breasts. Shifter then had an affair with Cheeseums, a girl, Cheesems ended up giving birth to Lunar and Gherkin. However, Lunar was lost in the wilds when he was young, where he was turned to the Wizards of Light and trained to become the first Wulf Mage. He then created a transforming spell for himself to change between Wulf and Pony. He was found later by a group of Peruvian archaeologists and was returned to our family via a box. Yes. He was 11, but he was in a box. Yes.

After Awan disowned Darkness for incredibly low school grades (an A-)
Darkness was adopted into Shifter's second family where he is the eldest, then Lunar, then Gherkin. Darkness soon married Saber (who had a successful sex change). After Darkness ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Sabess, he realised he was using Open Condom Style. Soon after, Solmate, their first child was born. He was a boy. Darkness was then readopted into Awan's family. However, when Lunar started skipping school in favour of some chick, he was booted out and sent to live with his Lesbian Aunts (Frenchie and Applebob). However, after Shifter had an affair with another young woman (hessuchaplayer) Cheeseums divorced Shifter. After this, Shifter 'persuaded' Applebob to divorce Frenchie. Shifter and Applebob are now engaged. Lunar followed her Aunt Applebob to live with his new family. Darkness and Gherkin moved back to the old house. After Cheeseums divorced Shifter, she met a charming man who turned out to be the long lost husband of Toasty, Darkling. They are together now and Shifter and Applebob married on the 17/01/2013. Darkness/Sabess' child had a sex change after he was shot, and fell in love with her aunt, Permafrost. They are now engaged.

Kiwi is the homeless dude who lunches around in our house and is a freeloader. But we all love him.

Our codename is the Heartstrings.