We blow your mind AND your equipment when you're not looking

...and now, over to sports:

In today's Unreal Tournament... Tournament we saw only two brave players venture into the darkness of the future. They later returned from a big victory, having slain several hundreds of bots.

Upon returning, the players only known by their nicks, 'Duckblood' and 'Hologram', exclaimed "Where were all the other guys? Buncha losers! Well, more beer and cake for us!".

And now for some weather: It's hotter than yo mamma in heat.

Tune in tomorrow, same time, same news.
Goodbye!