yo

PLEASE READ IF YOU'RE DEPRESSED!

Things suck real bad right now for a lot of people, that's for sure. It doesn't make you a bad person to think of hurting yourself or ending it all, you are simply mentally ill and in need of support. My advice is to talk to people you deeply trust about what's going on in your head. Journalling is great too, as is art, therapy + medication (if accessible), and emotionally supporting others who are depressed. Try to unravel the reasons why you feel the way you do. Do things that make life worth living, and try to eat food that has tryptophan in it as it helps your brain make serotonin. Also, always procrastinate on actually carrying out the deeds. You are not weak even if you succumb to your thoughts occasionally, you are strong for even having to live with such turmoil in your brain. I am proud of you for making it this far. Please keep going! I have attempted before and I've always regretted it afterwards.
Here is a list of suicide crisis lines by country. You are not a burden. If you need to call them, you need to call them.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines