Board of Armed Licensed Life-Savers

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A multidisciplinary team of licensed physicians specializing in:

• Acute lead extraction
• High-velocity trauma
• Emergency bomb disposal
• Terminal diagnoses
• Tactical malpractice
• Premature detonation management

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1. Always check your corners.
2. Never rush B without adequate prophylaxis.
3. Flash before entry.
4. If the patient is still moving, reassess.
5. Protect your BALLS at all times.

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Primum non nocere.

Unless they're on the other team.