The pain train is overpowered on defense. It provides +1 defense rate.

The Demoman does a pelvic thrust and shouts "KA-BOOM!" while lifting his lower body armor to reveal a picture of a smiley face taped to his crotch.

"...gonna take down to the pain train station in train town..."
"...yer arses arse and I'm the grass man, punk yeah ya havin' heathen."
"Any one of you, I..." (belch)
(unintelligible muttering) "I love you man..."
"Any of you that think ye're better 'n me you're gon' have another thing c-..."
"...the BOTH of yeh on you..."
"Everyone thinks I'm...♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥..." (weeping)
(unintelligible gibberish)
"Any one of you--!" (belches) "Everyone, damn it..." (sobs)
"It's on! It's on like--!" [falls asleep, then wakes up] "wha--?"