Remember - May 17, 2010

(continued:)I don't know how much Spencer talked about me but he definitely talked about you guys. =] I'd love to hear how things are going for y'all. Don't feel like you can't be open about your thoughts or feelings, especially with me. That's kinda why we're all here, right? Brb
P.s. Today is 4Everknite's bday! Throw some points or something his way. Tell him you were advised by your "Attorney" to do so. XD

Hey everyone. You guys probably don't remember me as i haven't been on Steam in 10 years. I'm Spencer's sister, Lauren. (Also daughter of 4Everknite. You might have seen him standing atop a mountain of felled zombies, waving a gun and yelling something about white rabbits...he's MOSTLY harmless...) I have a more substantial post I'll put up after work tonight. I just wanted to thank you guys, I can't believe you're still active in here after all this time. It just made my day. More later, but i did want to extend a way of reaching me. Some of your profiles dont allow me to send chats, although I'm not exactly proficient at utilizing this particular social platform. I don't even have a facebook anymore, although I do have an Instagram. Same url: sh3snotthere.

Growing up is a bitch. Here I am, 3:19AM EST time, New Years Eve, pretty much thinking about the worst possible time that is coming up for me. April and March. Both months I have lost 2 best friends to suicide. I have never forgotten Spencer or anyone here that gave me such good memories as a kid. Not only did many of my friends as well as his family lose someone so amazing, but losing a friend/family member is losing a part of yourself. I only just started going to counseling for it which was long overdue.

I am always open to talking, especially if you feel depressed or worse. Please, reach out to me if you want to talk, are hurting, or are feeling depressed.

P.S. This is Esther, It's been a while. You are all loved.

As I said.. I must move on. So.. If you are still in need of complete closure, I urge you to contact me. I have made many mistakes in my life, and my actions in that night are the worst of them but I know Spencer of all people would want me to live on. To keep searching for the answers. So, I must let go of this pain and regret that has held me down for so long.

I am doing my best to let go, but I feel unaccomplished in this matter as I have been out of contact with his immediate family. If, you have found closure (as I hope you have in such a long time period) then I hope you hold a high regard for Spencer. He was a very wise and very philosophical man. While his passing may be unexpected to most, it was his true desire. Some people; like spencer; grow too fast. They learn the world we live in, they learn our society faster than anybody could imagine and in that education realize that the only unknown left in our world is the true unknown.

Jacob,

I thank you for your kind words and I appreciate your respect.
For you and those of the Baswell family, my new steam account is http://steamcommunity.com/id/HoffmannTheGreat . In that regard. I am moving on. I cannot allow myself to be haunted by these memories anymore and if anyone from the Baswell family needs closure and to hear a complete story in regards to their kins passing and my involvement, I am more than willing to share this; however, I hope that you have already found closure in his passing and the circumstances that led to it. He was a great friend to me (probably the best friend I have had) which is why I raise such a heavy glass in this matter. If you do indeed need closure in this, I urge you to contact me.