FOOD POISONING SCARE SWEEPS CITY

Me, the person known to have stated this here and now as Johnathon Ari, shall now proceed to, in this instant, ask a question to the person known as "you," in this current predicament, you happening to be a young man known as Derek Hord (of whom's house I happen to be at in this moment), and the question is if you, Derek Hord, are coincidentally (or perhaps purposefully) using a mostly-modern item of equipment of technological advancement which allows the user to visualize what is happening before that person by ways of a lens, internal camera mechanics, and specifically the viewing screen in order to be saved and played back later at the convenience or pleasure or humor of one who happens to want one of those such feelings from the specific recorded piece of time, if you are using this to record a current scene in which I am, and you happen to be included, in which I am having a violent muscle spasm (known as a seizure, but not being the epileptic kind) while holding a Nerf gun (a toy version of the violent tool of destruction with foam rods instead of piercing bullets) and generally being an idiot on the floor of your bedroom at your house, because I may be, or happen to be embarrassed at a later date at the things I am unaware if you are recording, because I am not in wanting of many people to view my spectacle taking place right now