It's never Ogre!

>be me
>socially awkward highschooler
>have a few friends on the bus
>closet brogre
>decide to teach them of the ogrelord
>start my lecture
>"always remember: shrek is love, shrek is life"
>tell them that shrek is my religion, and that i pray to the ogrelord every morning and night
>they smile, thinking im joking
>"i'm not joking, shrek is my religion"
>they get creeped out
>they both move to the front of the bus
>alone now
>crying in my seat
>hear glass shatter
>shrek has jumped through the windshield
>ohmygoshyes.gif
>he strangles my former friends, and throws them through the roof
>shrek runs at me, grabs me then flies out the roof with me
>in a second we're at the swamp
>"ya did good laddeh"
>he kisses me and throws me into the sky
>i fall asleep mid-air, and wake up the next day in bed
>its 8:00
>gonna be late for the bus
>barely make it, everyone is looking at me, scared
>they call me the master
>i now rule the school and have gained the ability to summon shrek at my will