Friends who are better than the others

It's that time of year again; the time of year when fagola numbers grow to dangerous amounts. To be safe in these dire times, please take into account the following tips to ensure your safety:

•Travel in packs, the average fagola only attacks lone noobs.
•Never play the harpsichord after 7:32PM, the sound of one of these is similar to the mating call of the fagola.
•The average steps to repel a Sea Bear also work in keeping fagolas away (Waving a flashlight, wearing a sombrero in a goofy fashion, hooting like a chimpanzee, etc.)
•Keep your Fagola Proof Umbrellas at the ready in case you are approached by a fagola.
•Give Weel all of your hats.
•Never perform open heart surgery on a hobo in the park, hobos are the natural prey of the fagola.
•Always scream and flap your arms at any and all ducks you see.
•Ingest all rocks shaped like manatees that you come across.

If you suspect Banana someone of being a fagola, proceed with the following steps to effectively determine if they are, indeed, a fagola:

1.Offer them a delicious piece of buttered toast. No true fagola can resist this.
2.Bake an apple pie. (Not for the fagola, pie is just fuckin' awesome)
3.Offer the suspect a free hat. If they accept, they are most definitely a fagola.
4.Soil yourself.

Thank you for taking the time to read this PSA, and remember to always be on the lookout for any and all fagolas.