Oh my decoy, I survived.

Okay so this is what happened: After the christians came into this very room I SINGLE HANDEDLY slaughtered them all with one single decoy, the christians may be many and dangerous, but they sure as hell can't fight, all they tried was hitting me with some sort of wooden pointy stick, also for some reason they kept trying to ram that thing in my heart but little did they know, Decoys have hearts of Stalininium, ain't no wooden stick can penetrate that!

So- after SINGLE HANDEDLY slaughtering all of them I escaped, I noticed that none of my brothers were there, they all left for some reason (ya ♥♥♥♥♥♥) so right now I'm searching for them, somewhere on this interweb I might find them.

So, after this "combat experience" I'm sure we will rek those christian noobs on every single server in every single game you can imagine,

Ya better start running ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

This is the end, thousands of angry christians are hammering at our doors,
a damn crusade against Decoys.

We don't stand a chance, there are too many of those brainwashed christian individuals, we are going down.

This is the end to the brotherhood of the decoy, remember us!

DON'T LET THE CHRISTIANS FOOL YOU, THEY ARE EVIL AND TRYING TO KILL US, OH GODNESS THEY ARE COMING INTO THIS VERY ROO

Franz, get ready.
We always loved you, you are the Franz of our Zukunft! When you first arrived at this doorstep, I had no idea of your abilities, your decoy skills, all this potential.
From everybody I have seen using a decoy, noone was as good as you, not even me!
The decoy is a tool of power, it's full strength can't be unleashed by normal mortals, only the chosen Franz of the Zukunft is able to wield it properly, take the Decoy, and destroy your enemies with it!
My child, from now on you shall be called the Decoy Wielder, take this decoy, and strike terror in your enemies!
I have guided you through all of these years, I have waited centuries for this moment, from now on the Decoy has a worthy owner again!
From now on the Decoy shall be the only real religion out there!
You have to strike down everyone who refuses to accept it!
We have to clean the world from these unworthy christian buddhistic and muslimic humans. They think their god will protect them! God is a traitor and left us long ago!
Now it's time to strike back and to finally get revenge!
All the other Decoy Brothers anf sisters,

UNITE! UNITE AND SLAY ALL THESE UNWORTHY PEOPLE!

Everybody who rejects our ways shall be punished]

The church is build on lies, the "holy bible" is just a fantasy book that some fake wizard made, you know the world started with the big bang of the decoy, god was just a little traitor negev that thought of some ♥♥♥♥ to get fame and rich, he once was our brother but then he send his son out to convince people about his unrealistic ♥♥♥♥, ya know Jesus was just a guy who was going to a new city, he was asking himself "♥♥♥♥ what am I gonna do when Im there? Ah just do that water and wine strick and tell em about their sins and stuff, thats definetly gonna work." So the decoy was forgotten, we are the last remainings of the brotherhood of the holy decoy, we have to work hard together to make it great again!

Don't buy other grenades, save your money.
Why buy flashbangs if you can't even throw them and never heard of "Pop flashes" before?
Or Smokes, I mean like, it's just a bit of smoke, it's not that useful, don't worry about enemy snipers or something, don't get hit in the first place dummy!
The he grenade deals like 40 damage, you know what also deals 40 damage? 40 Decoys!
Fire is totally overrated, I mean like cmon, don't even let them get to the bomb mate and you don't have to risk your life by throwing a molotov as your last action in a firefight so he can't defuse, just throw a decoy into their face, there is like a 0,00000000001 chance to kill them with it and it costs 350 bucks less, Simple.

The decoy costs 50 bucks, it blesses your teammates by throwing it at em of the start of every round, (trust me, it's definetly gonna help. ([a] DEFINETLY [/a])
Also, it takes one armor point when hitting somebody, so it increases the chance of succes in a firefight by like 0.01 percent, and that only for 50 bucks! Why wouldn't you want to buy it?
So fellow brothers, just throw Decoys at each other, don't waste your money on nades that you aren't even going to use!

With that said, goodbye, see you soon.