Unity of Abaran buff hairy men

100% Pure blooded Armenian, my veins are filled with թան and my skull is filled with քյուֆտա instead of a brain, my spinal cord is a long piece of քյաբաբ and I am the hairiest man in the world. Everywhere I walk տուֆ spawns under my feet due to the fact that it is impossible for me to be able to walk on a material that doesnt come from Armenia or doesnt have a connection Armenia. Whenever I leave the beautiful mountains of Armenia and out into the vile and savage lands of the արտասահման, Armenia follows, I am so Armenian that the terrain I walk on turns in to mountains. I have a collection of 365 թզբեխ's, one for each day of the year. Whenever a թուրք sees me in public it shrivels up into a ball and evaporates. My floor is covered in Armenian խալի's and Armenian խալի's only. I am the direct ancestor of Հայկ Նահապետ. I am the physical embodiment of Armenia. I am more Armenian than Armenia itself. I spit in the face of those who think they have the strength it takes to conquer Armenia. My 365 car garage is filled with նիվեք and ժիգուլիներ, one for each day of the year. They are all in pristine condition. The only food worthy of getting eaten by me is Armenian տոլմա, լավաշ, խորոված and other Armenian dishes. The only fruits I consume are from the trees of the գյուղ's. The only dogs I pet are the գամփռ's that guard my home from impure and inbred beings, those unworthy of the title of Armenian.