安裝 Steam
登入
|
語言
簡體中文
日本語（日文）
한국어（韓文）
ไทย（泰文）
Български（保加利亞文）
Čeština（捷克文）
Dansk（丹麥文）
Deutsch（德文）
English（英文）
Español - España（西班牙文 - 西班牙）
Español - Latinoamérica（西班牙文 - 拉丁美洲）
Ελληνικά（希臘文）
Français（法文）
Italiano（義大利文）
Bahasa Indonesia（印尼語）
Magyar（匈牙利文）
Nederlands（荷蘭文）
Norsk（挪威文）
Polski（波蘭文）
Português（葡萄牙文 - 葡萄牙）
Português - Brasil（葡萄牙文 - 巴西）
Română（羅馬尼亞文）
Русский（俄文）
Suomi（芬蘭文）
Svenska（瑞典文）
Türkçe（土耳其文）
tiếng Việt（越南文）
Українська（烏克蘭文）
回報翻譯問題
討論區規矩與守則
檢舉此篇文章
Well, you are the problem here. You were never their friend. You were always trying to use your friendship as a way to manipulate them into a relationship.
If you really were their friend, you wouldn't have a problem with supporting them or them having a a partner.
II have boundries to friends.
when a friend calls me at 2 am they better are dying in the street or something..
they also know those boundries.
sure I tell them they can call me always.. and it might have happend when a friend was depressed they called each day a couple hours.. but only AFTER I kept pressing them and only on normal hours... and that was for people I knew YEARS...
-and even than they often don't contact me.. out of fear of being "to pressing"
so generally people consider not being "overly demanding"
if a new person basicly enters into your life and starts offloading crap from day 1 basicly giving 0 and me giving 100.. thats not a friendship.. thats counceling/therapy.
and you set fixed hours and apointment for that for a reason...
->
if all their normal friends and even their partner is not there and they take way way more time of me at crazy hours.. when I just met them.. they should KNOW that that means I am into them.
**no normal sensible person does that.
that i not press a relationship right than is just cause I am a gentleman and understand they first need to get that stuff out and stabilise before they are open for one..
even i might like a woman but have said "not open for one" it not ment I was not into them.. it just ment litterly I was not at that time ready for a relationship.. come back in a few months..
if a person ALLOWS you to cross all normal social boundries.. nobody does that.
not family, not friends.. only a partner.
people will leave if you try to push that hard.. unless they are into you..
one should hence never demand a persons time that hard.
I have to add that girl was also blackmailing with "I might kill myself etc etc" each time when I tried saying I really need to sleep.. basicly indirectly making me responsible if I set boundries... for if she offed herself...
which one can do once.. but if that continues for 6-9 months even costing you a job and a promition.. for the strain it puts on you.
and yeah call me selfish.. but offers like that you don't make for just anyone.. and somebody else should not profit off that unless they are serious too.
-after a dinner I as man MUST take iniative..
**If I never want to see that person again I offer to split the bill : that says to her in no uncertain terms I never want to see you again.
**if I say something like "its ok if you pay 20 I take care of the rest" (when clearly the bill is like 100 and her share is way more than that).. that is code for lets keep things open for now alowing us both to keep dating other people.
**if I offer to pay.. that means I am open for another date.. and I won't be dating other people besides untill we figured out if this becomes something or not.
the woman responses to the man. and her responce SHOULD communicate her intentions.
if I say split.. than well it's over. nothing she says than will matter. she can only accept.
if I offer to pay most.. she can either accept (communicating she things the same.) or counters with an offer to split (communicating she is no longer interested ending thjings than and there)
if I offer to pay all.. she can either accept
(communicating that she is interested, won't be dating others until we figured out if this becomes something.. and will at least have 1 more date in the future to that end)
or she counters with "it it ok if I just pay 20" (communicating that she does not want to end things, but also not want to commit to dating just me yet)
if say says no we will split : (communicating that it is over than and there..)
paying "just what we each consume" is a stronger version of splitting it is basicly saying no interesting in future contact + a cold sholder.
many woman are all to happy to accept that offer of me paying.. but DON"T honour what that implies..
you should follow the code :
if you have no intention to stop dating others at least for now.. nor are interested in another date.. one should not accept the offer to have things paid for.
similair thing with that offering of time and help..
by placing load on other people.. you communicate obligations to them.
if you want them as "just a relative" you don't ask more than a certain thing
if you want them as a friend.. you can ask a bit more but also not to far
if you want them as as one of your best friends/basicly familuy.. even more.. but still boundries
only if you want them as a partner you can ask without boundries
-> and when you ask of a person you must be committed to give equally back..
one girl I was very close friends with in middle school.. every schoolday I was with her every project we did together.. after school we even went swimming and to movies and such..
truth is.. she had x legs.. and was picked on.. as a person who used to get bullied as a child.. but who was also quite strong and tall at that age.. I shelterd her from the bullies.. I was basicly a nerd in a jocks body.. who was therefore just ignored by most.. they could not bully me.. but neither would I get invites to most activities.
everybody in the school called her my gf.. a thing she and I often laughed about for that certainly was not the case.
we lost contact after that school ended.. and years later at a reuinion she did admit that back than she had feelings after all.. but also noted I had non...
I have had other friendships with females even some exes have turned into good friends later..
but as stated friendships with females always come with baggage..
Do I think people can be friends? So long as it's not through the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ internet, yes. That's about as much of an opinion I have on this.
yep. but i think this one has more realistic responses than the other thread =)
The answer is yes. If you're incapable of having a platonic relationship just because they're of a sex/gender you're attracted to, then you have a problem
absolutely.
And it is not a belgian problem. Sorry, could not resist :D