How to talk to a Girl

[mattmuffin]

Ok, So I have this problem that I really like this girl that I really want to talk to but, I just can't have the guts to walk up to her. I can talk to any other girl just fine, but something about her makes me feel like she will label me once I start talking to her. I don't know what to do. She knows I am interested but I cant talk to her. Also alot of guys at school are starting to talk her that hasnt been talking to her before. That seems odd to me. What should I do. ( I am older than her.)

[Azza ☠]

Talking to a girl is easy, but there's a trick to it:

1) Forget everything about trying to please a girl.
2) Ignore all assumed outcomes to the interaction (positive or negative doesn't matter).
3) Be a tad of a jerk.
4) Don't plan anything, rather just wing it.
5) Listen to them and repeat back open ended questions about their own topics.

---

Girls don't like the nice guy, who's shy and caring for them. They perfer the jerk over that. Why? Well it's not that they are a complete jerk, rather it's the idea of confidence. A nice guy plans for perfection, fearing rejection, setting himself up to choke or not doing anything about it at all. They try to put the girl up high on a pedestal, pay for everything and treat like a princess (this tends to be temporary and fake - only works well on gold diggers). A jerk on the other hand, doesn't care of the outcome, acts before thinking of the outcome, just chills with no pressure of commitment. Most importantly, you don't appear fake or different from a normal person, rather appear even more alpha and in control. Open ended questions require more than just a mere yes or no response, so you can keep them doing all the talking. They assume you are interested in the same things they are, and therefore attraction is built within a few seconds and chat can continue through the night.

[mattmuffin]

Azza ☠ eredeti hozzászólása:

Talking to a girl is easy, but there's a trick to it:

1) Forget everything about trying to please a girl.
2) Ignore all assumed outcomes to the interaction (positive or negative doesn't matter).
3) Be a tad of a jerk.
4) Don't plan anything, rather just wing it.
5) Listen to them and repeat back open ended questions about their own topics.

---

Girls don't like the nice guy, who's shy and caring for them. They perfer the jerk over that. Why? Well it's not that they are a complete jerk, rather it's the idea of confidence. A nice guy plans for perfection, fearing rejection, setting himself up to choke or not doing anything about it at all. They try to put the girl up high on a pedestal, pay for everything and treat like a princess (this tends to be temporary and fake - only works well on gold diggers). A jerk on the other hand, doesn't care of the outcome, acts before thinking of the outcome, just chills with no pressure of commitment. Most importantly, you don't appear fake or different from a normal person, rather appear even more alpha and in control. Open ended questions require more than just a mere yes or no response, so you can keep them doing all the talking. They assume you are interested in the same things they are, and therefore attraction is built within a few seconds and chat can continue through the night.

The thing is. I can't be a jerk. I don't know how.

[Azza ☠]

Astrocat eredeti hozzászólása:

The thing is. I can't be a jerk. I don't know how.

- Don't act like your interested in her
- Disagree with her just for the sake of conversation
- Don't sugarcoat your opinion or not do/say something just because it might offend her

It's not really about nice vs jerk. You don't have to change who you are.

Rather it's confidence, assertiveness, and an attitude.

Never act too desperate for her and give off submissive vibes that scream "I need you", because it's not a quality women long for. They are after a guy that can handle himself around her. A guy that can take control. A guy that's confident, and doesn't actually bow to her every wish.

If she doesn't earn his affection, he is always able to walk and find someone else. He's not in control of the woman, because he knows he cannot control her. But he can control himself, his own emotions.

When you stop caring about the outcome - you either have a nice relaxed time together or move on. Zero pressure or worry about any "What ifs".

Let her do the talking, you just listen and response back with open ended questions. They can lead the topic then to their own interests.

[Hanomaly]

Astrocat eredeti hozzászólása:

The thing is. I can't be a jerk. I don't know how.

Please don't be a jerk like Azza suggested..
It is true many girls like confidence (many boys like confidence in girls too, and in other men). The problem is... many supposed 'nice guys" mix up jerky behaviour with confidence.

Also, truth is, many "nice guys" /aren't/. If you are a "nice guy" that thinks "being nice to a girl" means she *owes it to you to like you* or *owes it to you to feel for you as you do for her*, you aren't actually nice. You're a jerk too, just a different kind of jerk.

No one owes anyone affection.

Be yourself around the girl. If she doesn't like you, there are *other girls* out there that will. Just because you like this girl doesn't mean you're "destined to be together", or anything. People often selfishly think "oh i am attracted to someone, they owe it back to me to be attracted to me too, and if they aren't they are meanies who obviously only like jerks.".

If you and this girl really have a genuine chance to meaningfully be together you should both be yourselves. If you really like each other even then, well, that's a special thing. Sure, i mean, you can get people to like you by being fake, but do you really want someone only attracted to some false version of you, and not who you really are?

[Randy GaySexy]

been there. If shes into you also, then its alot easier.

[Hanomaly]

Please please don't listen to Azza's advice >.<
Azza has either ONLY had experience with shallow girls, or, has no experience with girls at all and is one of the fake "nice guys" who's butt hurt that his niceness did not earn him the "prize girl" he feels he deserves. Or is a troll giving you bad advice just for "fun".

Bleh.

The only advice from Azza that is good is *relaxing* and not worrying about the "what ifs" is great. Trying not to pressure the girl OR yourself is also good. Things tend to fall in place better in relationships when you're not trying "too hard".

[Vynira Snowy]

Azza ☠ eredeti hozzászólása:

Talking to a girl is easy, but there's a trick to it:

1) Forget everything about trying to please a girl.
2) Ignore all assumed outcomes to the interaction (positive or negative doesn't matter).
3) Be a tad of a jerk.
4) Don't plan anything, rather just wing it.
5) Listen to them and repeat back open ended questions about their own topics.

---

Girls don't like the nice guy, who's shy and caring for them. They perfer the jerk over that. Why? Well it's not that they are a complete jerk, rather it's the idea of confidence. A nice guy plans for perfection, fearing rejection, setting himself up to choke or not doing anything about it at all. They try to put the girl up high on a pedestal, pay for everything and treat like a princess (this tends to be temporary and fake - only works well on gold diggers). A jerk on the other hand, doesn't care of the outcome, acts before thinking of the outcome, just chills with no pressure of commitment. Most importantly, you don't appear fake or different from a normal person, rather appear even more alpha and in control. Open ended questions require more than just a mere yes or no response, so you can keep them doing all the talking. They assume you are interested in the same things they are, and therefore attraction is built within a few seconds and chat can continue through the night.

If he needs to purpously act like someone he isn't that's not right. Let's say it all works out and she becomes his girlfriend. That means he needs to fake who he is for however long the relationship lasts.

[Azza ☠]

@Hanomaly - Jerk too strong word for you? Don't deny your crazy female brain processing from us males, confused as we are :)

Anyways, I clarified the tend "jerk" more later on.

So, how many times are you gonna say my name? Don't be trying to come on to me.

"Disagree with her just for the sake of conversation"

[Vynira Snowy]

Azza ☠ eredeti hozzászólása:

@Hanomaly - Jerk too strong word for you? Don't deny your crazy female brain processing from us males, confused as we are :)

Anyways, I clarified the tend "jerk" more later on.

So, how many times are you gonna say my name? Don't be trying to come on to me.

"Disagree with her just for the sake of conversation"

Have fun faking your personality with your girlfriend.

[Azza ☠]

Mint-Berry Crunch eredeti hozzászólása:

Azza ☠ eredeti hozzászólása:

@Hanomaly - Jerk too strong word for you? Don't deny your crazy female brain processing from us males, confused as we are :)

Anyways, I clarified the tend "jerk" more later on.

So, how many times are you gonna say my name? Don't be trying to come on to me.

"Disagree with her just for the sake of conversation"

Have fun faking your personality with your girlfriend.

I'm just playing and having a laugh :)
I don't fake personality, but was just being a goof there.

Keywords from what I said before:
"It's not really about nice vs jerk. You don't have to change who you are.
Rather it's confidence, assertiveness, and an attitude."

[Vynira Snowy]

Azza ☠ eredeti hozzászólása:

Mint-Berry Crunch eredeti hozzászólása:

Have fun faking your personality with your girlfriend.

I'm just playing and having a laugh :)
I don't fake personality, but was just being a goof there.

Keywords from what I said before:
"It's not really about nice vs jerk. You don't have to change who you are.
Rather it's confidence, assertiveness, and an attitude."

Then say "have confidence" because it seemed like you said being a jerk was a good idea.

[Azza ☠]

Mint-Berry Crunch eredeti hozzászólása:

Azza ☠ eredeti hozzászólása:

I'm just playing and having a laugh :)
I don't fake personality, but was just being a goof there.

Keywords from what I said before:
"It's not really about nice vs jerk. You don't have to change who you are.
Rather it's confidence, assertiveness, and an attitude."

Then say "have confidence" because it seemed like you said being a jerk was a good idea.

And how does one build that confidence, you might ask yourself?

Take the aspects of "being a jerk vs being the nice shy guy", don't get me wrong - not all of them, however relaxing down, not caring as much with the outcomes, etc. It's the quickest and easiest way to explain the concept.

[Hanomaly]

{GlitchLovingSniper}Foondude eredeti hozzászólása:

Hahaha what would you do if i told you he was married?

Then i'd say he's married to a shallow girl OR the third suggestion i made? i suggested *three* things right in the post you quoted.

The third thing i said was that he's being a troll and giving bad advice for "fun".. Which he kinda confirmed?

Azza ☠ eredeti hozzászólása:

I'm just playing and having a laugh :)
I don't fake personality, but was just being a goof there.

[Azza ☠]

Skylx eredeti hozzászólása:

Don't be a jerk, they procreate the most. Ask other girls what they really think of her. Guys climbing over one another to get to her isn't reliable data.

For that to work - you will need a wingman (friend). Show no interaction with that friend, but get him to go to the girl you like and ask her, she will mutter "I don't know, perhap if he was blah, blah blah". Then a few minutes later after he's left, you go up to her and repeat those very same actions she mention to the very point. 90% of the time they will completely reject it and make up some excuse (it's not really what she wanted)... then it clicks, she realised what she did, laughs it off and bingo. You went into that amount of effect and she can see that now, she might even give you a chance.

@Hanomaly - What I meant by "having a laugh" was joking you where coming onto me. You can't seem to not stop talking about me, in every single comment. It's like you are oddly attracted to jerks or something?

[Sir Dookface McFerretballs]

You don't need to talk to women, all you have to do is flash a wad of cash or a platinum credit card and they will fall instantly in love with you....r money.

From what I have seen in divorce and relationship endings amongst my friends over the years, the trend seems to be that women are taught to want the handsome sensitive money earning "Prince Charming" but end up leaving Prince Charming for the first leather jacket wearing confident Alpha male that comes along.

So start growing a moustache and buy a motorcycle.

I found gay relationships work much easier as women and men are just too different from eachother... You should totally try dating dudes, much more fun and less "spend lots of moeny on me", and playing the "guess what I'm thinking" game, and "that time of the month" crap. ^_^