Venom: Last Dance (Is Everything Wrong With Hollywood)

[Jackie Daytona]

Disclaimers: This is going to be a long one. And many spoilers. (Not that you should worry, in this case.)

This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Not just in the superhero genre. Of all the hundreds of movies I've seen across my life. It makes every possible mistake. I regret paying to see this.

I'll start with the list of things I didn't like: (Then move into some stuff that requires a little more detail.)

• Pointless side-characters that take up half the runtime.
  
• A plot that never resolves.
  
• An ending that sets up for a "part 2". (But will never happen.)
  
• Every woman is the "strong" stereotype.
  
• Every male character is a joke.

No Spider-Man
Venom is, quite literally, a spin-off character from the Spider-Man mythos. Sony owns the rights to both. There is no reason to NOT have Spiderman in a Venom trilogy. Worse? They teased it, but didn't actually do it.

Even worse? Sony teased a "Sinister Six". With Morbius and Vulture being part of that. Venom likely being the third. Logically, Mysterio would be the forth.

PROTIP: Don't include teasers for things that aren't already greenlit.

But what does it matter? None of that is happening. Spiderman isn't part of Sony's Spiderman universe. THIS MAKES NO SENSE.

It's like if they bought the rights to... I don't know... Buck Rogers. But then didn't include Ming in ANY of the Buck Rogers movies. THEN made a Ming movie. Which would not include Buck Rogers.

Or if they bought a chewing gum company. Then removed all the flavors. (Except one.) Then released a previously available flavor on it's own brand. Then canceled that brand because it didn't sell enough.

It's like these people don't understand how brands work. Yet... are in charge of the biggest brands in history.

It's A... Comedy?
The comedic moments of the previous films (in the series) were fun. But it was absurdity contrasted against seriousness. It was comic relief. Venom 3 makes it the focus.

Is there anyone on earth that cares about Eddie Brock's shoes? I'm 100% certain I don't.

The Gay Angle
I have no problem with gay characters. (Or characterization.) But this ain't it.

Venom 2 reviews frequently included some lines about how the movie was about gay representation. If that's what the people behind it were going for? Then, whatever. But that's not how I saw it.

I'm pretty sure Marvel symbiotes are genderless and asexual. Nothing about that is "gay". I don't understand how someone can think that (in modern day) homosexuality is represented with a monster inside of you. That sounds more like decades-old conservative propaganda.

Anyway, Venom 3 played into that. As hard as possible. Which included a scene of Venom dancing. To the song 'Dancing Queen'.

Then the ending music. During which Eddie feels bad about Venom being dead. (Although they left the possibility for him to come back, but most likely never will.) It was like an ending to a bad 90's story about two guys. Except worse. (I'm seriously supposed to feel bad about a brain-eating alien that takes over people's bodies?! NO!)

Diversity Quotas
The story is about an evil dude that's about to invade earth. The main character is the only one that can stop it.

So, why spend half the movie on... a random scientist, her anti-authority friend, a black general, and some kids? I'll tell you: quotas.

None of that was important to the story. You could cut every bit and lose nothing.

What is Venom?
I've been criticized in the past. Specifically, for not being constructive. You want that? Here ya go.

Venom kills criminals. He hates Spiderman, and wants revenge. That's it. That's all.

If you are doing anythingelse with this character? You've missed the point.
------------------
You think this post is tiresome? I DARE YOU to watch the movie. One is definitely worse than the other.

Edit: Apparently "/list" isn't working as it has for some time. And has reverted. So, I had to fix it. Sorry if this broke your reply.

[craigsters]

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I have you beaten, try sitting through the above without your groin shrivelling up inside you permanently, I dare you

[TGC> The Games Collector]

The whole spiderman angle is missing in the entire movie series of venom.

Still, didn't make the first movie all that terrible, but the last one really was a worthless mess. It simply didn't go anywhere. Apparently aliens or something.
Also multiverse, because that was in the other marvel movies too, and everyone loves multiverse just crammed in there for no reason at all, it wasn't even part of the plot.

[Coinkydink]

Super hero movies = classic case of fascist culture.

Is Everything Wrong With Hollywood? Hollywood is Wrong in its very essence.

Try to watch the Black Panther movie and feel those braincells dying in protest.

[Jackie Daytona]

Originally posted by TGC> The Games Collector:

The whole spiderman angle is missing in the entire movie series of venom.

I agree. Why even do "Venom" without Spiderman.

It's like doing a Lex Luthor movie without Superman.

Or a cake with no frosting.

Originally posted by TGC> The Games Collector:

Still, didn't make the first movie all that terrible,

The first was tolerable.

As a comic fan my feeling was: "This isn't what I wanted, but I finally got a Venom movie."

But then the second happened. And Sony failed. Then they made a third. Which seemed like only hatred towards the audience.

Originally posted by TGC> The Games Collector:

but the last one really was a worthless mess. It simply didn't go anywhere. Apparently aliens or something.

I don't even know. It's like a fever dream.

Why tease a character that isn't intended for the film? That makes no sense. (And why CGI him? Sony could have hired anyone. Instead paid thousands to make a CGI character. WHY?!)

Originally posted by TGC> The Games Collector:

Also multiverse, because that was in the other marvel movies too, and everyone loves multiverse just crammed in there for no reason at all, it wasn't even part of the plot.

I'm not tired of or against multiverse. But it had no purpose or meaning in this show.

Actually, the biggest disappointment was that it DIDN'T involve multiversal elements. No one has any respect for a movie that sets up a sequel, but doesn't include anything teased.

Dr. Strange is in the universe but didn't do anything about this? I'm expected to believe that?

Or Spiderman is two different people in two different universes? Exactly where does Venom 3 take place? I've no idea. Is it the Sony-verse or the MCU? I'm confused.

This isn't the 1980's. People can go online one day after a movie (to see reviews) and know it's a cash-grab.

[Fake]

Joker 2. . . .

[Mina]

Movie for the trailer parks

[ZOMBIECRUNCH]

I bet my tongue is more aggressive than Venom's.

[tmwfte]

Originally posted by Jackie Daytona:

It's like if they bought the rights to... I don't know... Buck Rogers. But then didn't include Ming in ANY of the Buck Rogers movies. THEN made a Ming movie. Which would not include Buck Rogers.

I mean, Hearst Communications would sue into the ground anyone who used Ming in any film not approved by them. Using him in a Buck Rogers movie makes no sense either.

You can make a Buck Rogers movie free and clear in January 2025, though. When that character falls into the public domain. Buying the movie rights now would make about as much sense as including a character from a different franchise like Ming.

[Jackie Daytona]

Originally posted by Fake:

Joker 2. . . .

Joker 2 was certainly terrible. But it has nothing on Venom 3.

I would watch Joker 2 again. I never want to see Venom 3 again.

Sony should've "Batgirled" that. (Yes, I know it's a different company.)