Marriage = overrated today

[Mega Ultra Chicken]

Finding a good man/woman is becoming increasingly difficult it seems. Also, if a divorce happens, you can lose quite a bit as a man.

[jisei]

real.

[Swarmfly]

Not the convention at fault, but the 'fans'.

[Stranger]

Ursprungligen skrivet av UrGrandmum:

Ursprungligen skrivet av Stranger:

we should just marry the first nice boat we find, and sink into the grave with it apropos of nothing.

Boats are for suckers, riding on the back of a shark is where it's at. Sharks with lazer guns and turbo jets on the back. RelationSHIPS are for non-materialistic people who like spending their money on others.

Hey you guys, let's all join hands and move to a monastery. No sex for life!

like I said.

WE all should.

[40000Aggro]

Ursprungligen skrivet av Stranger:

Ursprungligen skrivet av UrGrandmum:

Boats are for suckers, riding on the back of a shark is where it's at. Sharks with lazer guns and turbo jets on the back. RelationSHIPS are for non-materialistic people who like spending their money on others.

Hey you guys, let's all join hands and move to a monastery. No sex for life!

like I said.

WE all should.

I like their robes.

[crunchyfrog]

Absolute rubbish.

If you believe the crap you read online you might think this but it's not how reality works.

If it were then do riddle me this - if it were the case that marriage is so bad, then why is there no collapsing decline across the world?

The point here is that if many people are still doing it fine, then it demonstrates it CANNOT be as you claim. It shows that something else is going on.

From the evidence I've seen there has been SLIGHT downtorun in marriages, relationships, and births in certain countries. Namely Japan (they've had in for many years now), Italy, and China to name just three.

Japan has had this gradually declining for a few decades now. And the reason is largely because of corporate work culture there. An AWFUL lot of time is spent going to work , then when you finish, you go to bars, eventually grabbing a couple of hours sleep before going back to work again. This sort of sturcture doesn't lend well to relationships.

In Italy's case, a large part of it is somewhat similar, and down to things like people gravitating to cities to work, leaving villages literally empty in some cases. To the extent you can freely buy whole villages from the government for a few thousand Euros in some cases.

In China's case, for many years under Mao they had the "one child" policy. While they still have the same aforementioned issues too, Chinese society tends to value boys more than girls. So obviously when couples were having girls they'd either abort or otherwise get rid of them. This has lent to a rather shocking imbalance of sexes, especially in rural areas.

To the extent that China relaxed this policy to two children, then three, and currently they will pay you incentives to have kids.

So by all means go and look up the ACTUAL reasons why societies are having problems because I've never seen any proper evidence of this right wing incel nonsense claims.

[Mega Ultra Chicken]

Ursprungligen skrivet av crunchyfrog:

Absolute rubbish.

If you believe the crap you read online you might think this but it's not how reality works.

If it were then do riddle me this - if it were the case that marriage is so bad, then why is there no collapsing decline across the world?

The point here is that if many people are still doing it fine, then it demonstrates it CANNOT be as you claim. It shows that something else is going on.

From the evidence I've seen there has been SLIGHT downtorun in marriages, relationships, and births in certain countries. Namely Japan (they've had in for many years now), Italy, and China to name just three.

Japan has had this gradually declining for a few decades now. And the reason is largely because of corporate work culture there. An AWFUL lot of time is spent going to work , then when you finish, you go to bars, eventually grabbing a couple of hours sleep before going back to work again. This sort of sturcture doesn't lend well to relationships.

In Italy's case, a large part of it is somewhat similar, and down to things like people gravitating to cities to work, leaving villages literally empty in some cases. To the extent you can freely buy whole villages from the government for a few thousand Euros in some cases.

In China's case, for many years under Mao they had the "one child" policy. While they still have the same aforementioned issues too, Chinese society tends to value boys more than girls. So obviously when couples were having girls they'd either abort or otherwise get rid of them. This has lent to a rather shocking imbalance of sexes, especially in rural areas.

To the extent that China relaxed this policy to two children, then three, and currently they will pay you incentives to have kids.

So by all means go and look up the ACTUAL reasons why societies are having problems because I've never seen any proper evidence of this right wing incel nonsense claims.

I call BS. How is this a right-wing belief? In the U.S. the right-wing conservative christians have the most marriages and children by far. If anything, this is a left-wing feminist belief. A lot of women claim they don't need men after all.

[Alaskan Catfish Hike]

I can see a spike in people getting "married" to make rent/mortgages less of a headache. Basically both play a beard to financial institutions.

[sleeps]

skill issue.

[sleeps]

well, even myself i want to marry later but it's mostly to fulfill my financial needs before finding something i don't care about. i don't want to not marry at all but there are reasons why i don't want to marry early on.

i'm not sure if it's truly an economical issue or that you guys really are having skill issues.

[chewbachman]

Dunno man. Found one heck of a woman and been married over seven years. Love each other more than we ever have. If you are going to marry it has to be a commitment. Your spouse will love you all the more for it.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but having a woman who is committed to me and me to her is quite nice.

[Mega Ultra Chicken]

Ursprungligen skrivet av sleeps:

well, even myself i want to marry later but it's mostly to fulfill my financial needs before finding something i don't care about. i don't want to not marry at all but there are reasons why i don't want to marry early on.

i'm not sure if it's truly an economical issue or that you guys really are having skill issues.

Not always a skill issue. Some people don't find their life partners until they reach their 40s or 50s even. Even if you get married as a man, divorce isn't fun. Begs the question why marriage is necessary.

[Morkonan]

Ursprungligen skrivet av crunchyfrog:

Absolute rubbish.

If you believe the crap you read online you might think this but it's not how reality works.

If it were then do riddle me this - if it were the case that marriage is so bad, then why is there no collapsing decline across the world?
...

Birth-rates have declined, but that's expected in 1st-world economies.


I just wanted to add something for all those saying "marriage is dead" - The "family" is the building block of human civilization. Certainly, anything past simple tribal or hunter-gatherer human cultures has, at its most fundamental building block, the core nuclear family. Less than a handful of very primitive, largely uncontacted, human enclaves don't have a formal pairing of marriage partners as practiced by their culture. (One or two have radically different conventions, but still practice some kind of formal, "recognized," bonds between mates/parents/partners. Last I studied Anthropology, at any rate)

It's what governments serve, it's how people live, it's how individuals plan, and it is where many human beings focus their legacy. The family unit is inseparable from the human condition. At least, so far...

AND, this is why novel social changes insisting on redefining the family unit are met with such very strong push-back. It's not just about left/right, it's about "this is the most basic structure of our society you're wanting to change." Anyone wonder why all those clueless old-folks get so upset when someone starts mucking about with things like "marriage?" There ya go...


I see a lot of comments on "why marriage," but too few comments about "I love this person and wish us to be together always AAANNNDDD wish to enter into the public and social recognition of formalizing that relationship."

Marriage isn't a piece of paper. It's a commitment made in public. It surpasses the "we can just live together and don't need some silly license" definition of a relationship. People don't gather around to celebrate the signing of a marriage certificate. They gather to show their support of the announcement of a formal relationship that has certain protections and supports built into it. It's not as simple as signing over the title to a car or filling out a warranty card for a leaf-blower.

With that public commitment to a stable family unit, society responds by supporting that unit. This is what family law, simple economic practices, protections, and social conventions are all about. It's why someone gets a bit more recognition for saying "this is my spouse" than they do when they say "this is my... friend."

And, there's the whole "love" thing... That commitment adds a new layer to that loving relationship. It's a formal bond and a commitment to move forward together, maybe even a strong enough commitment to work through problems a lesser relationship could not navigate. It's not like signing a lease together... It is not entered into with an expiration date and society responds accordingly by giving it more appropriate recognition.

[Mega Ultra Chicken]

Ursprungligen skrivet av Morkonan:

Ursprungligen skrivet av crunchyfrog:

Absolute rubbish.

If you believe the crap you read online you might think this but it's not how reality works.

If it were then do riddle me this - if it were the case that marriage is so bad, then why is there no collapsing decline across the world?
...

Birth-rates have declined, but that's expected in 1st-world economies.


I just wanted to add something for all those saying "marriage is dead" - The "family" is the building block of human civilization. Certainly, anything past simple tribal or hunter-gatherer human cultures has, at its most fundamental building block, the core nuclear family. Less than a handful of very primitive, largely uncontacted, human enclaves don't have a formal pairing of marriage partners as practiced by their culture. (One or two have radically different conventions, but still practice some kind of formal, "recognized," bonds between mates/parents/partners. Last I studied Anthropology, at any rate)

It's what governments serve, it's how people live, it's how individuals plan, and it is where many human beings focus their legacy. The family unit is inseparable from the human condition. At least, so far...

AND, this is why novel social changes insisting on redefining the family unit are met with such very strong push-back. It's not just about left/right, it's about "this is the most basic structure of our society you're wanting to change." Anyone wonder why all those clueless old-folks get so upset when someone starts mucking about with things like "marriage?" There ya go...


I see a lot of comments on "why marriage," but too few comments about "I love this person and wish us to be together always AAANNNDDD wish to enter into the public and social recognition of formalizing that relationship."

Marriage isn't a piece of paper. It's a commitment made in public. It surpasses the "we can just live together and don't need some silly license" definition of a relationship. People don't gather around to celebrate the signing of a marriage certificate. They gather to show their support of the announcement of a formal relationship that has certain protections and supports built into it. It's not as simple as signing over the title to a car or filling out a warranty card for a leaf-blower.

With that public commitment to a stable family unit, society responds by supporting that unit. This is what family law, simple economic practices, protections, and social conventions are all about. It's why someone gets a bit more recognition for saying "this is my spouse" than they do when they say "this is my... friend."

And, there's the whole "love" thing... That commitment adds a new layer to that loving relationship. It's a formal bond and a commitment to move forward together, maybe even a strong enough commitment to work through problems a lesser relationship could not navigate. It's not like signing a lease together... It is not entered into with an expiration date and society responds accordingly by giving it more appropriate recognition.

Feminism has made marriage more risky for men in the U.S. It's not impossible, but I would still take some precautions before signing your life away.

[Morkonan]

Ursprungligen skrivet av Lord Trolldemort:

..
Feminism has made marriage more risky for men in the U.S. It's not impossible, but I would still take some precautions before signing your life away.

It's not 'feminism."

At least, not directly.

It's the legacy-laws on the books in many States that was there for very righteous reasons - To ensure that a person who gave up trying to have a career in order to be a "home-maker" did not end up destitute due to no fault of their own.

Which, was the case for women housewives in the not-so-distant past. When, outside of the creative arts, the jobs they were often seen as qualified for was secretary/typist, clothing store retailer, or waitress... they needed that protection. Often, the best possible career they could hope and plan for was "teacher." That takes more education, too, so it wasn't in reach for some.

Children and their care works into it as well - Women are the default, traditional, custodial parent. Why? Uh... "because." And, there ya go. :)

Men are at a general disadvantage, here. But, that's because they've had the advantage for so long that the legal system responded to protect those that didn't. Now that things are changing rapidly, a lot of those old laws and traditions may need to be rethunked through a bit.

[sleeps]

Ursprungligen skrivet av Lord Trolldemort:

Ursprungligen skrivet av sleeps:

well, even myself i want to marry later but it's mostly to fulfill my financial needs before finding something i don't care about. i don't want to not marry at all but there are reasons why i don't want to marry early on.

i'm not sure if it's truly an economical issue or that you guys really are having skill issues.

Not always a skill issue. Some people don't find their life partners until they reach their 40s or 50s even. Even if you get married as a man, divorce isn't fun. Begs the question why marriage is necessary.

in certain places, if you feel your desire is at its peak, guess marriage is necessary. but knowing that places like america is different, it's a different story where it's not that necessary depending on what types of person you are.

if you don't wanna get married, that's fine. sometimes, it's better to improve ourselves to maintain love or money or whatever instead of going straight into it and fail.