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because you need therapy. and when we told you to go talk to a professional to properly address those things, you didn't take it seriously. because you don't think anything is wrong.
if you want a meaningful relationship you're going to make meaningful changes to your life, and better yourself. the gym isn't going to fix anything. the problem is inside your mind. its not a troll or attempt to belittle you.
that shocking admission you made here a few months ago in the now-deleted thread, that you thought was ok to say, or for the thought to even enter your mind, is the issue. that's where i'll leave things.
So, how did they "get" their girlfriends? Keep in mind it's not like going to the corner store to get a bag of chips.
That's very much not true. You're making an assumption heavily influenced by your own biases, likely those against yourself. :)
At face value, just in what you wrote, it sounds as if you may be "trying too hard." By that, I mean "trying too hard at the moment you meet them" rather than general frequency.
Focus on something else that means a lot to you. Or, if you don't have anything that means a lot to you, which is fine too, then you should focus on a goal that you can reasonably achieve that you think could be something you could value. Why? You need a bit of a boost to understand that you can succeed at "stuff" and that you could also see that your attempts to achieve something... can actually work. It helps to have some confidence in one's abilities, but a lot of people do not give themselves that opportunity when they're focused on achieving things that they may truly find difficult.
"Looks" aren't everything. In fact, unless you're unusually deformed, terribly outside your culture's standards for "normal looking" you've always got a good chance at attracting romantic attention. You may be surprised at how attractive a woman finds a "dad bod" guy. You may even discover that many women are just fine, or even prefer, a "normal sized" guy, if you know what I mean. Yes, the end-all-be-all of male potency is not necessarily what is actually favored...
One does not just go out and hunt down a life-partner using secret tricks, wily intent, and innate ability that only divine nature could provide. Yes, very physically attractive men who've won the genetic lottery have more success than those who aren't. But, that success can also lead to bad habits that don't necessarily support doing those things one should do in order to strengthen a lasting relationship.
Most people, and by that I mean those who have long-term relationships, aren't finding their partners by first meeting them in a bar or by asking them out in the grocery store. Sure, it can happen, but a good many are instead finding satisfying partners in a stable relationship by having spent some time around them in other situations.
You will not likely find a magic answer, here. But, importantly, what you may find is "food for thought" that gets you out of the sort of mental/emotional circle of "failure" you may be currently fueling, yourself.
You may first need to start thinking "differently." By that, I mean take an inventory of your successes. You have them, you know? But, you may not even recognize them and may certainly not see the tiny ones that still count, especially since they can add up to round out one's overall feeling of accomplishment.
You're here, you can write reasonably well, you're a bit down on yourself but you're looking to improve, you're actively pursuing personal improvement, etc.. You've got plenty of other things that you've achieved, too.
You can't go fishing in a desert. If you only occasionally go to a body of water where there are a few fish, but a lot of fishermen, what are your chances of catching a keeper?
Focus first on your social resources. By that, I don't mean go hit on all your friend's sisters. I mean focus on socializing as much as you can and extending those social circles into others. The secret to meeting people is to actually meet people. Work on that. If you're pursuing an activity, either in working out or in moving forward to achieve a goal you think is valuable, work on including a social component to that. Join a work-out group of some sort. (Do not then start obtrusively hitting on women... you'll get kicked out.) Try to work in those social components wherever you can. (It sounds as if you know people and at least aren't afraid of going outside - Build on these things.)
What do you believe that you value in a partner or girlfriend, if you had one? What sort of person do you think it would be nice to call your girlfriend? And, no, "warm body" ain't one of those. So, in your imagination of a nice partner, where do you think those sorts of women go? What do they do? What are their interests? What do they value and what do people that have those values do and where can they be found? If you're looking to hunt deer, you don't go skydiving.
Some tips:
1) Here's the big problem to overcome and to avoid - A lot of people who get frustrated, depressed, or who are too critical of themselves tend to start insulating themselves from those feelings and they do that by not exposing themselves to situations that give rise to those feelings. See? It's a steady, vicious, circle of behavior and point-of-view that has a strong feedback loop that you need to avoid. So, avoid that - Do not just "stay at home, because I'm intimidated or worried about rejection." Don't allow that to take hold. But, also, know when you need to take a break from what may be anxiety inducing situations. Moderate.
2) Work harder on your own self-esteem, your own sense of actually being able to achieve things and what you have achieved, and how you feel about yourself, first. Do that. Don't do it with the purpose of manufacturing the best lure for fishing... Do it because you deserve to do that. Doing it, for yourself, helps to show you that you deserve a bit of confidence and confidence is a pretty good aphrodisiac. Overconfidence, however, is a big turn-off. The smart fisherman is not overconfident and may not go fishing expecting to actually catch a fish... They may go fishing just to go fishing and enjoy it, even if they don't catch, or are not trying to catch, a fish.
3) Expand your social opportunities where you can. If you can meet people doing the healthy thing, do the healthy thing. Keep it firmly in your mind that you are doing this to "meet more people and expose your self to more social groups" and not.. because you're going to hit on every woman in sight. Put yourself in the frame of mind that what matters is that you are out there being seen and seeing, not that you're going to jump at the first opportunity five times an hour. Where you can build in a social component to a thing you do or that you wish to do, then do that.
4) It is very likely that some woman, somewhere, has thought to themselves that they'd like to give you a chance. You missed it. You've likely missed quite a few of those. Remember this. I'm not saying that you must be more observant or that you need to jump at any opportunity - I'm telling you this because you've got an image of yourself that doesn't likely exist and you need to be more realistic about your self-image. It ain't likely as bad as you think it is.
I don't know if you've ever had a girlfriend. But, if not, then advise yourself that you probably don't know what women or potential partners may be thinking or how they're reacting to you. If you have had a girlfriend, take comfort in the fact that you've succeeded once, so you can succeed again.
It just sorta happened. lol
You're supposed to be social and stuff and then your relationship with a particular chick grows until you decide to date.
It's like asking "how do I get a best friend." Go ask everyone you know "will you be my best friend" and see how that works out for you.
To find a girl you must spend time with them, and you cant treat everyone as a potential partner. Instead just meet girls and see who you click with. Maybe nothing happens. Maybe just a friend. Maybe it ends up as a relationship. There is no fixed formula to follow, no way to decide that you will find someone, you just have to make sure you meet people and not be a jerk to them and let things happen naturally. Eventually you find someone. Or at least thats the impression I get from the other people I have talked to about it. As I said, I dont socialize, so I technically dont know from experience.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHYEthYTMhM
Anyway, sorry for the tangent, just wanted to emphasize this point because its important.
I go into hospital to get tests done for health and come away with some very happy nurse numbers without even trying just having a laugh and being 'natural' ie not weird and intense.
If I can do it without even trying and nearing twice your age....
Go Nike 'just do it'
Dating game is not difficult. Try a wider social circle if you have run out of people in your asylum.
Asking out on the first day of meeting does work, but very rarely. In these cases, you'd be able to see that they're interested in you because they show signs, sometimes unintentionally and unknowingly.