Thanatophobia (Fear of Death)

[xAlphaStarOmegax]

Is the fear of death or the fear of dying normal? Everyone that I have asked in person about whether they fear death or not tells me that they don't fear it; even my partner does not fear it.

I have been having an insane fear of death every single day, even having anxiety attacks often because of it, ever since losing my mom back in 2011. I was there when she died, and it gave me PTSD. It was a very traumatic experience for me. I just wonder if all of this is normal, if it will ever go away, or if I will have to endure it for the rest of my life. I have had panic attacks so bad that I would cry, begging them to just stop and give me a little respite. Because of all of this, I pretty much rely on CBD oil and natural calming pills on a daily basis.

Is there anyone at all out there that deals with this as well?

[Rumpelcrutchskin]

They lie.
Death is not easy thing to witness, I still have flashbacks of it years later too.

[76561198356019466]

I've had one most of my life.
Sometimes it get's so bad I can't even function; I just curl up in a ball and hope it goes away.

It was easier to deal with when I was a practicing drunk, but if I'd kept that habit up I would died, which kind of would have defeated the purpose.

[Sir Dookface McFerretballs]

You might get a better answer if you ask people if they fear death in a possible life-or-death situation.

Set up a dimly lit basement, and have a big box labeled "Extremely Venomous Cobras" and have them sit in a chair that has handcuffs attached to the arms and legs, then ask them in full view of the "dangerous cobras" box if they fear death.

Most people fear death when they are possibly about to die.

[ṼṏẌṏḭḊ]

Death is petrifying. I try not to think about it because it's so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ frightening.

[Trickster]

i don't really have a fear its not so bad having a permanent sleep with no bother ment

[swillfly]

I have said it before (ad nauseam) yet I will say it again: Please seek consultation with your physician, therapist, social worker, and/or spiritual advisor. Although the opinions and views expressed on Steam OT may be of some merit/humor/perspiration/constipation please know that there are FREE resources available both in your own community and online. Help yourself to feeling better for yourself.

[Pierce Dalton]

It's completely normal for humans to fear death, most do.

The insane feeling you describe is far from normal, though. Maybe you should see a doctor or something, because this is clearly exaggerated.

[Vinz Clortho]

For me personally, the Thai Forest Tradition of Therevada Buddhism has been helpful.
Lots of teachers from that lineage, meditated & slept in graveyards, caves & jungles, as a way to explore their feelings about death, and gain insight into it's nature.
I'm not suggesting OP become Buddhist or even bother to learn about any of the religion, if you don't want to, but if you read or find a video of a Therevada Ajahn talking about the nature of death, you might find some of it helpful in a secular way.

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/thai/chah/bl111.html

[Jackie Daytona]

Originally posted by xAlphaStarOmegax:

Is the fear of death or the fear of dying normal? Everyone that I have asked in person about whether they fear death or not tells me that they don't fear it; even my partner does not fear it.

I have been having an insane fear of death every single day, even having anxiety attacks often because of it, ever since losing my mom back in 2011. I was there when she died, and it gave me PTSD. It was a very traumatic experience for me. I just wonder if all of this is normal, if it will ever go away, or if I will have to endure it for the rest of my life. I have had panic attacks so bad that I would cry, begging them to just stop and give me a little respite. Because of all of this, I pretty much rely on CBD oil and natural calming pills on a daily basis.

Is there anyone at all out there that deals with this as well?

I did, for a time, feel similarly.

Got attacked. Almost died.

I'm mostly over it. I still have nightmares, though. Woke up screaming the other day. (Dreamed someone was in my house, and I yelled at them to leave.)

Getting over fear of death? Not easy. My brush with death actually made me less depressed. Because I went from hating life, to valuing it.

I continue to harbor resentment for how things turned out. However, I try to be positive about living. Every day is a chance for me to teach someone, or improve the life of someone else.

Want to feel better about life? It's hard, but use what you got to better others. Do what you can while you remain here. Because no one really knows what lies beyond. So, make the best of it!

[xAlphaStarOmegax]

Originally posted by Rumpelcrutchskin:

They lie.
Death is not easy thing to witness, I still have flashbacks of it years later too.

I am so sorry to hear that, I also deal with flash backs so I know how you feel and I hope those flashbacks end for you.

Originally posted by tiny E:

I've had one most of my life.
Sometimes it get's so bad I can't even function; I just curl up in a ball and hope it goes away.
It was easier to deal with when I was a practicing drunk, but if I'd kept that habit up I would died, which kind of would have defeated the purpose.

Same, when it hits me it makes me freeze up, my heart races, and I feel like I am suffocating. It seems like nobody really understands it unless they go through it.

Originally posted by Sir Dookface McFerretballs:

You might get a better answer if you ask people if they fear death in a possible life-or-death situation.

That makes sense, I guess they don't fear it because they haven't gone through such a traumatic event.

Originally posted by ṼṏẌṏḭḊ:

Death is petrifying. I try not to think about it because it's so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ frightening.

It really is. I wish it wouldn't plague me all the time like it does. I honestly don't know how people cope, like how do they not fear it when I fear it so much.

Originally posted by swillfly:

I have said it before (ad nauseam) yet I will say it again: Please seek consultation with your physician, therapist, social worker, and/or spiritual advisor. Although the opinions and views expressed on Steam OT may be of some merit/humor/perspiration/constipation please know that there are FREE resources available both in your own community and online. Help yourself to feeling better for yourself.

I know and I agree, I do need help. I have actually sought help many times and the system has failed me. Mental Healthcare is too expensive, I paid over $160 to see an online therapist for an hour and in the end he made me cry and feel even worse. I even signed up online to find some local therapists that wouldn't charge an arm and a leg, I contacted one guy and he told me that he wouldn't see me because I have bipolar. So I tried contacting more and many of them just never got back to me, it got so bad to where I just gave up. I have even had places tell me that they were booked for months to a year. As a child / teen I don't recall it ever being this hard to find help. In fact I have been dealing with this crap all by myself since I lost my mom in 2011, so it's been over a decade.

Originally posted by Mattmoo:

It be normal.
The culture and society has made it something which for quite a long time, people have been afraid of.
You too can be afraid of death. :cozybethesda:

I am definitely DEATHLY afraid of death haha.

Originally posted by Eréndira:

First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mother. I think it's bittersweet that you were with her as she passed away; what was more than likely comforting for her has now caused you trauma. Please reach out for help on this. PTSD is not something to take lightly. I know someone who has CPTSD and they are in dreadful shape mentally, very sad as they have reverted back to childhood and broken sentences, talking like yoda or something; they have not received the proper medical treatment for it so they remain stagnated and as a shell of a person. It is no joke, not something to shake off as a mere inconvenience. Please take your mental health seriously.

While it is common for people to fear the unknown and as being human beings, we realize our finite capabilities; we know we will die one day. It is appointed to men, once to die... As I recall, you are religious, a spiritual woman. I once felt a sort of dread that could not be helped no matter the Bible thumping or singing worship songs. I did not want to live but I did not want to die either. It was a way for me to work out my faith with fear and trembling, if you understand that context. Spiritually, you can understand certain things from that perspective but I can say with confidence that feeling anxiety and having fear of something and that this fear interrupts your life noticeably should be taken seriously. I believe only one poster so far has stated to get help. That would be my encouragement to you.

Be well & take care.

I know that since I am religious I probably shouldn't fear it so much, I even had someone tell me that the void cannot be filled without Jesus; it made me feel like how Job felt when his friends were accusing him.

I know that I need help, I have been trying to find it for years now but due to money and nobody wanting to see me it's really hard. I honestly don't know what I can do at this point.

PS. Thanks a lot for the kind words. I wish you well as well.

Originally posted by Pierce Dalton:

It's completely normal for humans to fear death, most do.
The insane feeling you describe is far from normal, though. Maybe you should see a doctor or something, because this is clearly exaggerated.

I agree. I think if it prevents me from truly living then something is wrong.

Originally posted by Liu Roll:

For me personally, the Thai Forest Tradition of Therevada Buddhism has been helpful.
Lots of teachers from that lineage, meditated & slept in graveyards, caves & jungles, as a way to explore their feelings about death, and gain insight into it's nature.
I'm not suggesting OP become Buddhist or even bother to learn about any of the religion, if you don't want to, but if you read or find a video of a Therevada Ajahn talking about the nature of death, you might find some of it helpful in a secular way.
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/thai/chah/bl111.html

Thanks, I will check this out. I heard that facing fears can help, maybe I should try to do that?

Originally posted by Jackie Daytona:

I did, for a time, feel similarly.
Got attacked. Almost died.
I'm mostly over it. I still have nightmares, though. Woke up screaming the other day. (Dreamed someone was in my house, and I yelled at them to leave.)
Getting over fear of death? Not easy. My brush with death actually made me less depressed. Because I went from hating life, to valuing it.
I continue to harbor resentment for how things turned out. However, I try to be positive about living. Every day is a chance for me to teach someone, or improve the life of someone else.
Want to feel better about life? It's hard, but use what you got to better others. Do what you can while you remain here. Because no one really knows what lies beyond. So, make the best of it!

Dang, I am sorry that you went through that. When my mom died I was close to death myself so I know how scary it can be, it sucks so bad. I agree with you, we only got one shot on this earth to do what we can while we can. I wish you the best, I hope that you can overcome all of this, same with me.

[Spirit]

i'm sure there is reincarnation. if you were born once there is no reason it could not happen again and that makes death much less scary to me

[xAlphaStarOmegax]

Originally posted by Pudge:

i'm sure there is reincarnation. if you were born once there is no reason it could not happen again and that makes death much less scary to me

I am glad that you have found some sort of comfort, I wouldn't wish the fear of death on an enemy. I wish death didn't even exist to be honest about it.

[Spirit]

Originally posted by xAlphaStarOmegax:

Originally posted by Pudge:

i'm sure there is reincarnation. if you were born once there is no reason it could not happen again and that makes death much less scary to me

I am glad that you have found some sort of comfort, I wouldn't wish the fear of death on an enemy. I wish death didn't even exist to be honest about it.

death is a necessity. world would be beyond overpopulated if it didn't exist

[Mr. Smiles]

Originally posted by Pudge:

i'm sure there is reincarnation. if you were born once there is no reason it could not happen again and that makes death much less scary to me

So life is some kind of roguelike? Gross, that triggers my apeirophobia something fierce.

Gonna go cry in a corner, bbl.

[Spirit]

Originally posted by Mr. Smiles:

Originally posted by Pudge:

i'm sure there is reincarnation. if you were born once there is no reason it could not happen again and that makes death much less scary to me

So life is some kind of roguelike? Gross, that triggers my apeirophobia something fierce.

Gonna go cry in a corner, bbl.

Probably we have all lived multiple lives on this planet or elsewhere. Can't be the first time we are alive now