Anyone know some funny jokes?

[Carlos Chircop]

Can't think of one...Share some pls

[Fork_Q2]

Publicado originalmente por Grox3000:

Publicado originalmente por Fork_Q2:

What did the orphan with no arms or legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Poor Sally can never catch a break.....

Nope, but she caught a branch on the way down after you shot her.

[Naedmi]

Publicado originalmente por Fork_Q2:

Publicado originalmente por Grox3000:

Poor Sally can never catch a break.....

Nope, but she caught a branch on the way down after you shot her.

Wouldn't he shoot her again? No witnesses.

[The Man]

A girl got a car for her sixteenth birthday and started recklessly driving because she was awesome. Sadly, she ran right into an eighteen wheeler and really saw how the Mercedes bends.

[Yumi]

I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, "No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."

[TGC> The Games Collector]

I could tell you a ton of dead baby jokes, they never get old.

[Laptop]

Ever wondered why Paper beats Rock?

Put it this way: Paper is money, money is paper.

The rock is earth, earth is a rock.

A country can be brought to it's knees because of debt, debt comes from money, money comes from paper.

Therfore, paper beats rock.

[McFlurry Butts]

So a funny joke walks into Steam Forums...

[Midnight Sky ✨🌙✨]

Can February march? No, but I hear April may.

[Fork_Q2]

What's blue and doesn't fit?

A dead epileptic.

[McFlurry Butts]

A man is leaving his village for the first time to visit the big city. His fellow villagers don't want him to get ripped off, so they give him some advice - never agree to the seller's price... always ask for half the price.

So the man arrives at the city, and sees an umbrella store. He heads in to buy an umbrella.

He asks the clerk how much for an umbrella. The clerk replies: $10. Sticking to his strategy, the man says: How about $5?

The clerk tries to negotiate, but the man doesn't budge. Finally, the clerk agrees.. I'll sell it to you for $5.

The man then replies: How about $2.50?

The clerk is taken aback, but eventually rationalizes that just making the sale is worth something... and agrees to $2.50.

The man goes on... how about $1.25?

This continues for a while, with the man wearing the clerk down, until it's down to $0.02... and the man says how about $0.01?

The clerk is so fed up, he tells the man... it's already down so low... just take it for free.

The man finally seems satisfied... but then turns to the clerk and says... How about 2?


http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2ejmgz/translated_indian_joke/

[Fork_Q2]

Past, Present and Future walked into a bar.

It was tense.

[Midnight Sky ✨🌙✨]

Publicado originalmente por Grox3000:

Publicado originalmente por Mr. Gency:

Can February march? No, but I hear April may.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uQ76qrlK78

You act like you don't think it's funny, but I know July.

[Fork_Q2]

I accidentally shot someone with a starting gun.

Now I'm in jail for race crimes.

[Fork_Q2]

Publicado originalmente por Mr. Gency:

Publicado originalmente por Grox3000:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uQ76qrlK78

You act like you don't think it's funny, but I know July.

[Sandwich Man]

So a man takes his dog to the beach. The dog is walking around on the shore until he encounters a little sand crab.
He stares at it, apparently struggling with something. And after a while the dog says,
"Krr...raa...aab. Kr-a-ab. Krab."
A bystander says to the owner, "That's amazing! How does he identify other animals?"
The owner says, "He doesn't, he's just verbally dyslexic."