Is it ok to give gifts to female friends who aren't girlfriends?

Όλες οι συζητήσεις > Φόρουμ Steam > Off Topic > Λεπτομέρειες θέματος

PsychoPsyops 13 Οκτ 2016, 14:02

Is it ok to give gifts to female friends who aren't girlfriends in real life, on their birthday and other holidays such as Christmas? Or is that not socialy acceptable? I have no clue! lol
If it matters, I'm age 26, they're also in their 20's.
I'm asking primarily because I don't want them to think I'm trying to be their boyfriend or anything.

Τελευταία επεξεργασία από PsychoPsyops; 13 Οκτ 2016, 14:20

< >

Εμφάνιση 31-42 από 42 σχόλια

Mamezuku Rai 14 Οκτ 2016, 5:51

Αναρτήθηκε αρχικά από shox3:
Why not

What gift is he giving her? Jokes aside that matters a little.

#31

Kris 14 Οκτ 2016, 8:31

Oh yeah it's fine. On a completely related note, you wanna be my friend? (◕‿◕✿)

But seriously, I'd check if she has a boyfriend honestly. If she does, I'd make sure the boyfriend knows about you. Sometimes boyfriends (and girlfriends) can be a bit overprotective and question why some random person is giving their partners gifts. You don't want to create tension, so just be perfectly clear about your intentions. Ultimately though, go for it.

#32

Myrmicon 14 Οκτ 2016, 8:41

Αναρτήθηκε αρχικά από Ms. Jack Bauer:
But seriously, I'd check if she has a boyfriend honestly. If she does, I'd make sure the boyfriend knows about you. Sometimes boyfriends (and girlfriends) can be a bit overprotective and question why some random person is giving their partners gifts. You don't want to create tension, so just be perfectly clear about your intentions. Ultimately though, go for it.

Pretty much. I know that'd I am a pretty jealous and Overprotective Bf from previous Relationships. I'd probably hate that guys guts and interpret that as hitting on my girlfriend. So that is probably sth to keep in mind when doing that lol

#33

Austen The Fox 14 Οκτ 2016, 8:41

Nothing wrong with giving gifts to a friend on their birthday. Unless it's a dildo or something.

#34

Austen The Fox 14 Οκτ 2016, 8:42

Αναρτήθηκε αρχικά από KiowaFox:
Nothing wrong with giving gifts to a friend on their birthday. Unless it's a dildo or something.

huh, I got censored

#35

PsychoPsyops 18 Οκτ 2016, 16:50

Αναρτήθηκε αρχικά από C4Warr10r:
What effect your gifts are going to have largely depends on you. With a clever name like "BehindAnimeLines," along with your age, the fact that you're asking, your articulation, and your concenr for both social norms and girls' feelings, I'm guessing that you aren't worried about looking desperate.

No, you're worried about leading them on, and I'd be willing to bet you've had this problem with ladies before. I'd also bet you're intoverted and highly empathetic, not to mention a clever sort.

If that is the case, you are right to be worried. Even if not 100% of it is accurate, there is still cause for concern. People tend to see what they want to see, some more than others, and about five-hundred times more so if you seem approachable. A gift CAN be seen as an invite to a relationship.

So what's to be done? Well, first, let me explain exactly what you should NOT do and what you are probably already doing. I bet a shy-guy like yourself tried to act like he saw nothing, and that made the problem worse, didn't it?

My friend, women look for men to complete them, just as we look to them to complete us. Once a lady sees what she wants, the absolute LAST thing you want to do is act like a gullible, blind fool. You're practically giving her an invitation to step into a super-suit that will endow her with all the powers she never had. This is how shy-guys end up with harridans for wives.

That is not the soul of a relationship, people shouldn't be looking for others to complete them. It's just the soul of breeding and it lasts about as long.

The key to a good romantic relationship is for each person to be a complete person in and of themselves, full and ready to face the world with all they have to offer. When two people like that come together, they select a partner, they don't depend on one, and they can build something better than the pair combined: a life, even a progeny, that is the finest of both.

That is how you deal with the friends you value too much to directly turn away, but don't want a romantic relationship with. You already have the words and the empathy, all you need to do is put them together in your own form, and use them to help somebody else become a better person on their own. It's what they really needed, what they really wanted, and what you wanted for them.

Give your gifts in that context, with that personality, and I swear to you, no woman is going to mistake your intent, nor will she be worse-off for it.

What you may have problems with, down the line, is the occassional psycho who thought you meant that she needed to prove herself to you. If that happens, you should be honored. And then you should repeat the lesson she clearly didn't get the first time. And if that doesn't work, let me know, I'm an extrovert, I specialize in dealing with outwardly-projected desires.

Holy hell. You're really ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ good at reading people lol. But thank you so much for the advice. Something that's lacking in the Steam forums is definitely useful/practical input lost in the sea of misreadings and feeble attempts to spark a chuckle. Anyway, you're right on the traits, introvert, empathetic, etc., and you're right on me not wanting to lead them on. I've been lead on 3 times in a row and I guess that's why I fear leading them on, because I know how much it hurts, I'd hate to create that feeling for someone else. So basically I didn't know if giving a gift to a female friend was a social que or just widely known as a friendly gesture, something I should have probably elaborated on in the op. Also, I've learned that people often have misconceptions about something, which is another thing I wanted to avoid from said females, but also wanted to make sure I wasn't the one with the misconception.

As for the follow-up, it'll have to wait. Her bday is in November. Hopefully I'll remember this thread then.
Agan, thank you. I dub this post as the best answer and the most helpful.

Τελευταία επεξεργασία από PsychoPsyops; 18 Οκτ 2016, 16:50

#36

Shaii 18 Οκτ 2016, 16:55

Meh, if you're not gonna get sex from it then what's the point? Being nice? Screw that.

#37

Amberbaum 18 Οκτ 2016, 17:28

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, what's with all those dudes and asking for advice on how to deal with "females"?

#38

Vince ✟ 18 Οκτ 2016, 17:30

Αναρτήθηκε αρχικά από Amberbaum:
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, what's with all those dudes and asking for advice on how to deal with "females"?

Trends. Theyre the new trend.

Also, if you have to ask.. you probably should stay away from them because you obviously have more on your mind than just giving a game and leaving it be.

#39

Amberbaum 18 Οκτ 2016, 17:35

Αναρτήθηκε αρχικά από VassI:
Αναρτήθηκε αρχικά από Amberbaum:
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, what's with all those dudes and asking for advice on how to deal with "females"?
Trends. Theyre the new trend.

Also, if you have to ask.. you probably should stay away from them because you obviously have more on your mind than just giving a game and leaving it be.

Yeah, reading most of the stuff makes me unsure whether I should cry or laugh :P

#40