Hating music (musical anhedonia spectrum)

[Elucidator]

Imagine yourself. You just had an exhausting day where, the last thing you got bothered by was a colleague who kept giving you more reasons to hate him.

You go to bed at night, thinking it’s finally quiet down and that you can forget about all the stress you experienced. Its dark, the clock is passed 11:12PM, it’s almost midnight. There is a breeze outside, but you barely hear it. And so, relaxed, you fall asleep.

But then--
For some reason the neighbor starts drilling in the wall.

For some reason they just couldn't wait till morning, they just had to drill now. You check the clock, its 11:52PM.

The noise is extremely intrusive and loud, so you put your hands on your ears, but it’s not enough. The vibrations echo through the springs of your mattress, making you feel it in your entire body, especially the last bits where the drill seems to get stuck.

Then it quiets down....
Half hour later, there is more drilling.
It quiets down again...
This stuff repeats till almost 02:00AM, so a bit infuriated now, you get out of bed. You feel like you should at least have a word with this guy at this point. Unfortunately, as you walk to your front door, you notice there is also that insane exhaustion overwhelming you, so you leave it alone. You realize you don't even want to go outside at this point.

Instead you take a glass of water and try to forget about it and see if you can calm down. As things seem to have settled and there is no more drilling, you stopped caring. But the thing is, you fail to fall asleep for the next few hours. Perhaps you did at around 04:30 at some point, so the next morning is quite a heavy one for you.

---

(Specific) Musical anhedonia, is what it is called when you don't enjoy music. Unlike other forms of anhedonia, it does not come sudden. You have always not enjoyed music basically. There is no sense of pleasure or whatever from it. Its just another set of noise.

Music is intrusive, repetitive, and loud and causes obsessive thoughts about it. People can hear the jingle or the whole song in some cases including all the instruments even after things have quieted down a long time ago. This obsessive memory might sometimes even cause hallucinations about it, which more commonly is called Involuntary Musical Imagery, or 'earworm'.

Music is everywhere. It’s on YouTube, it’s in movies, it’s in games. Random cars that pass by you while you walk somewhere play music, heck even the supermarket plays it. There is no escape from it. Even wearing earplugs doesn't completely take away the ability to not hear anything, which is unlike light. (You can close your eyelids and hold your hands in front of them to escape light for example, it’s impossible to escape sound.)

Aside that, it is memed. It is send to people, it is shared, people themselves talk about it and may even sing it sometimes...

Of course there is also the level of loudness, amount of instruments (or tracks) involved with the song, which can be felt through your body and not just be heard.

---

So what is it like to hate music? Well, it’s quite literally comparable to the scenario I described at the top. Music, sounds indeed like some annoying neighbor drilling you awake while you're sleepy and trying to sleep. It grands the same feelings, which might be neutral at one point with just a thought of "wtf, Why. Why now?", and nothing more, to it being extremely infuriating.
It has the same consequences too, that, if you're exposed to it often enough, you start to hate the person playing it and the device that plays it, as well as whatever sings it.

It can also be compared to babies and young children crying annoyingly.

The only difference is that, music is catchy. (Which makes it more bothersome)

---

What causes the hate you may wonder? Well, summarized: overexposure / no rest. People's brains work the same. Music is still catchy despite not enjoying it nor liking it. It still gets stuck in the mind. You'll still think about it even if you don't want to. People share it, etc.

If you can imagine the drills, including the annoyance from it, but then having those thoughts about it all day, you can see why some people may want to smack their head against the wall in the hopes things quiet down. Music, to those with musical anhedonia is at some point just annoying and frustrating. (Although I suppose it also depends on their own experience with it, their past, and the person itself on how quickly it happens to be infuriating.)

People who have a dislike for music are often socially shunned and isolated (including at early age; which is detrimental for child social development). This may be in other forms of bullying as well. Due to this and having no sense of pleasure from it, there is a high likelihood that they associate music with whiny bullies instead for example.

A narcissist might play Celine Dion songs when they're sad for example, where they put all the speakers loud to get comfort in their perceived sadness (and forcing others to hear the same whiny chirps), so that they receive proper 'empathy' from their surroundings. (Which mind you isn't natural nor voluntary empathy, but rather stirred/manipulated/inserted empathy). It takes away people's ability to think and perceive emotions clearly and blinds them with this insert nonsense.

The music industry kind of works similarly. "Hear my emotions" basically, trying to make themselves more important in the moment than others. Hence it’s not odd to compare it to baby cries.

So you walk around the world mostly thinking "Stop it!", "Shut up!", or something similar pretty much everywhere. Or, in case of an idol for example "Oh god no, stop. Don't start singing. No..." (--somehow singing is even worse than just instrumental BGM, but it depends on how noisy it is, and by noisy I mean intrusive and affective.)

In case you have a friend with an instrument, or are just watching YouTube: "No. No, please no. Don't pick up that guitar- oh f".

You pause every video with music in it to take a break from the sound and process what just happened.

I guess you can imagine that now.

It might be worse for people who are oversensitive or have ASD (which probably makes them unable to filter and sort the difference in what they hear properly).

https://www.thelocal.es/20140307/these-scientists-have-discovered-why-some-people-hate-music/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earworm
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Musical_anhedonia

So, with all that said, here's an unpopular opinion of mine. I don't like music.
So obviously, due to the over exposure I can happen to request people to stop bothering me with it. (This might actually happen when they are already being emotional themselves already. I don't need the additional emotional manipulative pressure.)
Of course, even if they know and understand, they either ignore or forget about it or tell me not to be such a whiner. Or they may tell me to stop being weird, or they may tell me that I'm being an ass.

Somehow its okay to not like monitors, and when they ask they're left alone from monitor screenshots, but with music its different somehow.

The point being, its not a great experience.
and the lack of understanding makes me dislike music even more. In fact, the whole 'music must echo with my feeling' thing people do is actually infuriating to me.

like I tried to explain, its like a child whining. They scream. They feel like they don't get the approperiate response from you (which is you crying along with them so they get what they want) so they scream louder. Then you look displeased at them and they scream even louder. Asking: "Can you turn the music off?", apparently makes me an ass, but does it really? Especially when I am not the only one hearing it-- I wonder.

So apparently I am not allowed to have my own feelings about a situation. When others are sad, I must feel sad along. The problem is, I am already sensitive to emotions and can't help but to feel like shedding tears for stupid things, like seeing people cry. Its hard to keep control and keep my own emotions visible. I dispise it to be honest and music often unauthentically steers this in a direction.

Empathy isn't just feeling along, its communicating. You receive emotions, you send emotions, there is an emotional response and emotional understanding that can lead to compassion. Music on that part is like talking to a wall. So that escapism, and then expecting understanding from others as well, is just wrong in my opinion.
(Whatever the song sounds like, its not you. It may resonate, but its not you.)

Well, anyway I wanted to share this and see what other people's experiences are, if they too don't like music.
A reason is because of vtubers becoming more popular and the constant song spamming I get on discord or whatever.

It can all instantly go to the spam filter in my opinion.

Annoyingly, people need to pay yearly for music thanks to the anti piracy organization in my country (special tax). (yes, for radio / music. ) Its the most infuriating thing ever, being forced to support people who create this disturbing trash.

Anyway its not a very fun experience to not like music on this world.

[Out Of Bubblegum]

So, you are saying that music is like a person drilling at night to someone that hears music as just unpleasant noise? That is why you started with the drilling story?

[Elucidator]

Ursprünglich geschrieben von Out Of Bubblegum:

So, you are saying that music is like a person drilling at night to someone that hears music as just unpleasant noise? That is why you started with the drilling story?

Yes.
And just like that noise, you may or may not get too bothered.

Ursprünglich geschrieben von The mama jeans:

TL;DR

The TL;DR is 'some people don't like music'

[AlmightyDunkle]

Boy I ain't reading all that so congratulations! Or uh I'm sorry for your loss?

[TwisterCat]

This is what listening to Billie Eilish does to somebody.

[sleeps]

"coco" the thread

[Basarab Laiota]

just... mute the music....?

[R-]

you can go to the park there is no music but i had neighbours who turned music very loud in mornings it was really annoying wish it would be more than just 22-8 no loud things

[sotaponi]

Ursprünglich geschrieben von The mama jeans:

TL;DR

The premise:

• Music is perceived just as annoying as the noise of a drill.

The reasoning:

• Children are annoying, throwing increasingly large /emotional/ tantrums if they don't get their way.
  
• Children and their tantrums are annoying, like an emotional drill, absorbed in their own petty narcissism.
  
• This creates the connotation of musicians who create emotional music being akin to annoying children throwing increasingly large tantrums, narcissistically.
  
• But genuine emotions are something more profound than the mere throwing of musical tantrums and then getting absorbed in it.
  
• Thus, music is akin to shallow emotions, no different from the throwing of tantrums.

Only more general. As the emotional tantrum is just an analogy. Music is in itself perceived as a tantrum. Because music is perceived as shallow. That is a kind of simulacrum, I guess.

If you think of e.g. Plato type of philosophies, then you could argue that music is a drawing of emotions. Which is then a simulacrum, as opposed to the real thing, much less the ideal form. And a tantrum is also not real, but merely a simulacrum. Both of which is by the OP perceived as annoying as the noise of drill.

Whereas, in addition to this, there should also be real emotions and platonic emotions, I suppose? Whereas the platonic or divine is then post-ego, arguably. Or something along those lines. Divine love. That transcends the ego into a higher dimension. Such a thing.

IDK. I hope I got the gist of it right... (It's very carnal.)

[eranji]

Basically, music bad

[TwisterCat]

Well I read the whole thing, and my response came pretty quickly to me.

Music is inspiration, energy and literature. It's like reading a book, in a rhythmic audio form. Books aren't from me either, but there's aspects I can extract and resonate with, to the point where that piece of literature becomes a part of who I am. When you listen to a song you can resonate with, it becomes meaningful, and for some, even a form of catharsis.

Like all literature, it ranges from completely abstract, to the most meaningful and deep concepts, whereas a drill is just noise without a definition. Stringing that together with my statement relating to catharsis, I think you could also apply the same argument for human vocals in general, which I think is a very flawed concept, it removes a form of expression, and the receiver of the expression from the equation, whether they can communicate or not.

Then take all of that, relate music vocals to the tone of someone's voice, albeit with optional additional non-human sounds of the instruments, and you have an argument that's autistic on a fundamental level, given how many variations of human tones and emotions exist. To hate all human tones, I could argue, is neurologically divergent, I think I could make a case for that.

[The Grim Reaper]

I don't like most music, but I never thought about writing a book about it.

[Morkonan]

Ursprünglich geschrieben von Elucidator:

...
Well, anyway I wanted to share this and see what other people's experiences are, if they too don't like music....
Anyway its not a very fun experience to not like music on this world.

This is an amazing testimonial and thank you very much for sharing it.

Have you been truly diagnosed with auditory/musical anhedonia? Have physiological differences in your brain been explored/discovered as with what appears to be common in those with this condition?

I am truly sorry you experience this. Though, I can't then say "it must be agonizing for you" because this is, as you say, the world that you experience. The "loss" someone else would feel here is not the thing that you would feel, not having that kind of experience available to reference in the first place.

I will offer,though, that while music is very common in our everyday lives, it does largely occur without a lot of notice. It's often inconspicuous for those not suffering as you do.

So, would you say that every instance where you are exposed to music is entirely "conspicuous?" In other words, where a friend or others are in the same place, like everyone watching a commercial or youtube vid, do they seem to not notice a song playing in the background while you, for yourself, could not possibly avoid hearing that as anything other than as being as conspicuous as that "neighbor drilling into the wall at 2am?"

You alluded to that "catchy jingle/earworm" issue. That must be maddening and I really do feel bad for you, there. It must be pretty torturous, like some horrible memory you can't scrub from your brain. You get no "feeling of reward" or "emotional triggering/feedback" from it. It's just a sound that only serves to "leave you hanging" and frustrated for no possible beneficial reason.

Please forgive my curiosity! That's one of my own compulsions... It's sometimes a flaw, but I tend to delve deep down the rabbit hole when I'm so very intrigued.


When you're watching a movie and there is background music, but you're really interested in the dialogue or events depicted on the screen, can you find yourself occasionally not being so very sensitive to the background music? Or, does it jar you "awake" in some way, sometime ruining the value you may otherwise find in a particularly dramatic moment? (IOW - Do you find it possible to be distracted enough to not notice there's music playing?)

Is there any occasion you can think of where you were surprised that you were able to ignore the frustrating annoyance of music in the background?

Do "a capalla" performances where there are just lyrical vocals with no instrumental accompaniment disturb you as well?


Note: If you find movies constantly frustrating for you because of the music soundtrack, there are "masters" out there of every single movie, these days, where tracks are isolated. In other words, it's possible to see a popular movie that has the music track removed from it. That wouldn't effect the dialogue or other sounds, either. But, I do not know of how easily available such masters are.

There are youtube channels staffed by studio sound technician professionals that often analyze music and music production to isolate tracks and vocals to yield a very technical critique of the work that was done.

Here's one and I apologize in advance. But, the reason I link it should be clear - You may be able to contact this person or someone like them in order to explore the possibility of actually being able to enjoy a popular movie, if you find you can not due to the ever-present music track being impossible for you to ignore.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDDr6BtrOUQ

(Note: Just maybe note the channel in case you may want to email/contact this person to see what they have to say about the possibility, should you feel it could be beneficial for you.)

Again, thanks so very much for your testimony and insight into this condition.

[Knee]

Ursprünglich geschrieben von AlmightyDunkle:

Boy I ain't reading all that so congratulations! Or uh I'm sorry for your loss?

No! In my skim I believe OP is in the hospital after getting punctures by a power tool!
Get well soon

[jahpeg]

damn that's a lot of words you could shorten down to one paragraph, if even that. you have some kind of mental health condition, so what? plenty of us do, and every week we push ourselves to our limits adapting to fulfill the expectations put on us. is something stopping you?

[Morkonan]

Ursprünglich geschrieben von Florida Man:

...
TL;DR Music AS WE KNOW IT (even the "good stuff" from years ago) only exists as a way to fill in the dead air on the radio inbetween adverts for scumbag car dealers who're trying to screw you and erectile dysfunction medication.
There's still plenty of songs I love to jam to, but it seems like every day I enjoy all of it less and less ...

Thanks for that great post. :)

An example, from the artists themselves:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_QtO0Rhp0w

Sure, it's "Rush" and there are some people out there that will start throwing poo... But, they don't get it, so they don't matter. :)

"Shattering the illusion of integrity..."

Rush had enough power, perhaps one of the few rare bands out there that did, to freely produce what they wanted. And, without consideration of whether or not it could be played on the radio. When the label "asked them," due to the contractual conditions Rush had smartly put in force, to make an album that was more musically favorable for radio, Rush made... "2112." Much like Queen's rebellion with making an operatic Bohemian rhapsody that purposefully made no darn sense, Rush said "screw that and here ya go, you're welcome" with 2112.

It has always been the case that there is a never-ending flood of talented musicians and artists out there. They fall out of the woodwork anytime someone mops the barroom floors. (A bi-yearly event, surely....) And, there's an equal number of them that go deservedly unnoticed, too. The will may be there, but pure desire doesn't always compete well against skill. It helps, though. :)

There's only so much money even the top producers have to get an artist from the bar to the concert hall. And, even then, it may be easier to just... create one. What determines who gets "created into" the next superstar? Luck, really. Just blind luck, sometimes helped by effort, but that only counts for so much.

There is one thing about the contemporary scene that is actually beneficial - There can be artists out there that can get their work out to an appreciative audience and they can actually buy food with the proceeds. No, maybe they won't ever be a superstar. But, they can bypass the conventional Big Label Deal mechanics altogether if they work hard enough and get lucky enough.

I don't listen to music on the radio, anymore. My ears don't like it. There are reasons, there, having to do with a host of issues surrounding one's maturity over time and what one has come to associate with certain types of music. I loath, with great disdain and proud energy, "rap" and "hip-hop." Why? Well, it sucks. But, besides that, the fact that I didn't grow up with it, I never associated with any maturing emotional instincts, and I never encountered it in a way I could pair it with anything beneficial. Not even once. So, all I hear is worthless, untalented, garbage being spewed forth from a speaker that must surely be insulted by having to make such noise audible... Surely, right?

The Record Companies ™ are pretty angry that people may give money to artists directly and they may be missing out on taking their undeserved share from those few artists that can survive without them. That's find by me. If an artist is more empowered to produce what they want, I'm all for it.

Note: Producers, sound-engineers, all those guys... You're right in saying they're the backbone of any well-known artist's produced work. And, yes, they're more treasured if not more valued at any one time than "just another hopeful pop group" that shows up at a studio. But, if forced to make a choice, the label will go with the artist first. That's because they're the cash-cow being milked.