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True as I DO spend that much time getting ready to go out. That's why I'm such a beautiful beast.
Hell I put more effort in than my wife, she's nuts she'll go to the store in pajama pants and couldn't care less. I always dress up, polished boots, nice jacket, etc.
For boys? wtf no
How about a Clown's ghillie Jacket? (That wacky sniper/hunting garment)
About all I can say of strange everyday clothing i've worn would either be "Heavy Metal" standard rocker stuff, complete with a "War Vest" full of concert pins and patches, or the horrific period in the 80's that was filled with parachute pants and shiny jackets... At least I never had a "mullet." :)
I got really lucky during that period in not being without a girlfriend, so I never actually had to push the envelope... But, girlfriends love to dress up their boyfriends. I had a hat like some of the 80's Brat Pack kids would wear, too. Fedora or something? But, at least I wasn't single, prowling the dance clubs. (That came later.)
Fashion is weird. We laugh at high fashion that's "au couture" yet a bunch of people end up wearing it for a decade. Then, we laugh at decade-old pictures of them wearing it... I do find the whole subject fascinating, though. I love watching humans human.
All pictures of me from that period, in period-contemporary wear, have been destroyed in the interest of public health. Thank goodness the Internet and smartphones with cameras didn't exist back then. :)
PS: I wish I had dived into the Punk scene, more, though. As a Metalhead, I was "slightly" accepted. But, Punk hangouts and music spots were pretty darn awesome. I never had any problems with any true Punks. (Most metalheads/headbangers were open people too, back then.)
Sorry for going to off-topic in this topic but I am really starting to feel sorry for the experiences that you have had with women in your life. I am not basing this thought from just the lines stated in this topic, but from some others as well. I am beginning to think that maybe the more better or suitable type for you might have been from some other culture. But then again there is the culture clash that could have ruined everything anyways... so I may be wrong. Darn, there are so many variables when talking about relationships. Anyways, I feel sorry for your hardships in your past experiences (and I remember that there were some good experiences too).
But back to my experiences - I personally don't find it a good thing if the other party tells to the other what to wear. Of course some like it and maybe are sometimes even expecting it. But then it may begin to be destructive when the other does not like to wear something - but I'll do this for you honey thought-pattern is driving on.
So do I. : )
Very True! I miss those days.
Well, they were not bad experiences at all. And, I think you're either misinterpreting that statement or looking at it from a very different point of view.
It is not the somewhat childish interpretation of violating someone else's right of expression or personal empowerment at all. It's not even that in any sense. Though, it is possible that what occurs in movies involving that subject can possibly happen, but it's not generally the true case by a longshot.
It's like any bonding experience, any experience where couples move past the external social interactions and involve themselves with exploring each other. It's largely about discovering each other, sometimes playfully, sometimes more seriously. It's part of breaking into the boundaries of true intimacy. Some might be true concerns held by one, but the sharing of that exposes them both to new insight, new experiences, etc..
IOW - It's not a "power trip." And, considering my age through that period, there were plenty of playful interactions/explorations. So, it was a natural evolution of those. Plus, I've never really cared that much about what I wear as long as it's clean. And, back then, wearing something clean and at least decent while I had a nice girl on my arm? I'd suffer any indignancy and so would many others.
But, can it be a negative experience? Sure, it could be like one sees in the movies. And, in some situations, it could be something one hears about in abusive relationships. BUT... in normal relationships it still happens very frequently and it has nothing to do with those negative things.
PS: I know of one relationship right now where someone is somewhat subjected to wearing certain things in a certain style. However, they, themselves, enjoy that for some reason. (Lots of them, IMO, but they do not seem adversely effected.)
/agreed :)
But, there is always the danger of nostalgia, too. It's a difficult thing to address as one moves from adolescence, early adulthood, then on to even more maturity. Back then, I didn't have any true responsibility, no duty to anything, few worries past "what's for lunch" and there were so very many things that were exciting and "new." Today? "New" often means "Why is my medical bill so expensive" or "I need to buy a new car, again, when i just bought that one... fifteen years ago?!" :)
Yeah, I was quite sure that maybe they weren't so bad experiences. The interpretation was made lightly due some previous comments. It's hard to tell exactly what the other is actually meaning when having just forum post discussion. My bad. I just made a poor assumption that Is this really how this guy sees women or have he had only this kind of experiences? That they give their stuff to men while shopping and telling them what to wear?.. Good god...
My apologies.
I agree of course the healthy relationship part and of course it is and can be bonding experience. I know a little bit of counseling and couple-therapy and I dare to say that it is not so pretty as a picture that I got from your answer. Yes there is a lot of things and sometimes even abusive things in peoples relationships that people in those relationships just stand for. And that is what I meant by destructive part. And it happens even in some working and long lasting relationships as well. I understand that my description of that matter was childish like. I like to express myself very down-to-earth way.
I know that we (you and I) come from a different culture and in my culture it is not so common that the other party affects a lot the way the other dresses. I for example personally dislike it very much. My better half really should not say anything, or especially, expect or tell me what to wear. The matter of sharing each other opinions is a totally different matter. -Honey, what do you think, would this tie look better with this suit or this one? And it is a different thing, when some one tries to please the other dressing up like the other likes him/her. I believe that you understand the more negative insight that I have tried to build up here.
Really not sure, if you are being condescending or just say things in your way here... Like I said, forum talk is not the best one to be able to see and understand the others emotions. Anyways, sorry I hurt your feelings within my previous posts.
Bah, humbug. Nostalgia is fun as long as your heart beats : )
Can cut both ways.
Case in point. Go and look at Hard Rock Nick (a notorious faker but he idolizes himself and grooms himself).
Now tell me he doesn't look awful but uncannily like Divine.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfirqQJC3I0
The OP thus also seems to necessarily correlate "cuteness" with "femininity," which is already a rather one-dimensional view on what it means to be a woman. Also in regards to motherhood, etc.
So the OP wants to look cute and neotenous, rather than old and maybe wise. Which might coincide the idealization of retaining a boyish and pre-pubescent body for the entirety of their lifetime. The idea of a person looking "strong" or not never factors into it. Hence why the OP is also fine not having breasts or representing motherhood in other ways. All that matters is to retain a cute and neotenous appearance, as is further evidence by use of the word "boy" in the thread title. Personally, I here already blame nihilism, and by extension the existential dread and arguably unreasonable fear of "death" created by it. Hence why the OP would never want to look like an old granny, for example. As surely old grannies are not "feminine" at all.
Also a bit contradicting here might be some calls for "patriarchy" ITT: If "neoteny" is a biologically enrooted "bigotry" of "patriarchical" nature... then males idealizing this "bigoted" view is also necessarily "bigoted" in itself. Because they first have to accept the "bigoted" view in order to want to embody and personify it. (They are in love with a "patriarchical" delusion, so to speak.)
Thus, necessarily, feminists have to be against males wanting to wear "cute and feminine" clothing in such a way that it would express neotenous traits, as it would further enroot the "bigoted" stereotype of the 1-dimensionally neotenous and cute female.
Of course feminists are fundamentally incapable of logic. Hence why they also tell us that it's somehow "progressive" for adults to cry. For example. Because being a nihilist, or holding nihilistic views, is necessarily "progressive." And anything else would clearly be a sign of the "patriarchy." All the while people become increasingly depressed as a result of the systematic propagation of these type of belief systems. (Of course never crying or never fearing is not realistic. Especially since it's a part of childhood and development. Still, for the nurturing of strong and healthy minds, rhetorics regarding the normalization of such mentality, particularly into late adulthood, is surely poor.)
Personally? I... don't have such a pathologically obsessive view on irrelevant things, that I could care about being able or unable to wear a certain type of clothing. Though I do consider the entire "feminist" narrative over supposed "oppression" and "patriarchy" (as mentioned ITT) insulting to people who have actual problems. Not just in the world at large, but also in the west. Or especially in the west, where people suffer increasingly under this deluded and pseudointellectual tyranny.
Sure, some idiots exist in ANY group. What's the point - that does NOT denigrate the cause does it?
The point is thet feminism DOES have a valid point. There are instances where misogyny exist and this sort of illogical sweeping excuses does not work.
Sorry, but keep that out of it please.
Teh fact is the OP stated what THEY thought cute and there should be more of it. They neer claimed to be authoritative in any way, so you're arguing a strawman.
Yes, I understand. I'm sorry if I sounded condescending - I was only trying to drive home the point that it doesn't have to be a negative experience.
I see it as an "If I love someone, I like making them happy" sort of thing. So, if something really doesn't matter much to me, I don't mind changing it. Maybe I'll like whatever that new change is? Or, maybe I'll like that new change because it makes the one I love happy? Of course, if they're just trying to exert control over me, that's another issue. But, I've never run up against a case where someone that I actually love is that kind of person. Usually, when it's something like this, it's just playful or just something they'd like to see me wear for whatever reason. I've never encountered any situation where refusal to wear something they wanted me to resulted in some kind of conflict.
It's worth noting - This isn't some sort of constant issue, at least in the frequency I've experienced it. It's just something that might happen, but it doesn't mean it always happens.
Agreed!
It's true that it can be a sign of control/power/anxiety issues and the like in the relationship. It doesn't have to be, though. That was really my only point in that.
So, if someone one is intimate with buys one a shirt/blouse, should one wear it? Maybe... What if they're really enthusiastic about something like that and they feel that engaging with you and playing around with new "looks" or a new "style" to try out might be something positive for you? What if they're motivated to just share something with the one they love that they really like?
So, yeah, there can be a lot of questions about something like that and one does have to execute good judgement, there, to know the difference between a healthy relationship and attempts at creating a "controlling" one.
One thing, though - When it's healthy, it's sort of a sharing experience. As long as it's not insistent, it's probably well-meaning. It's like "let's go try this new sport thing we've never done together, before." It could turn out to be fun, it could suck... But, if you don't want to and they're insistent, there may be something else going on.
They have it so bad. Those two months taken out of every year dedicated to celebrate them must be unbearable.