Pros & Cons of a Formal/Prom

[Jonno.exe]

Hey all, what are the reaons to go to a prom/formal? I'm trying to ask a girl out that i've known for a really long time. Different schools, hers is girls-only while mine is guy's only. She has a Formal for girls only while my Formal is yourself +1. I'd like to invite her but how??
P.s we are both intravert, shy characters sho dislike Formals. However i want to go just be with her.

[Milk]

Unless you are an extrovert and like to dance, there is no point. It's a waste of money and time.

You'd have a better time spending your money going somewhere else that day.

[Jonno.exe]

Originally posted by Angry Floof:

Unless you are an extrovert and like to dance, there is no point. It's a waste of money and time.

You'd have a better time spending your money going somewhere else that day.

To be honest im more of an introvert WITH her as ive known her since childhood and i dont wanna screw up our friendship.

[B l u e b e r r y P o p t a r t]

Pros - Maybe sex after.
Cons - Going to a dance, can't find a date, wasting money, getting dressed up, ect.

[hedy]

Pros - Fun times
Cons - Cant find a date

[Laguna]

I see no benefit to proms. Ireland adopted the custom about half a decade ago and I was baffled. The UK has been right on track to also do so the last few years. Plenty of great things are worth adopting from American culture, but prom isn't one. They emphasize social economic divides within a closed group, and worsen other problems within peer groups. Even if you are reasonably well off they feel like another needless expense piled on parents.

[C4Warr10r]

Then you should go. The main reason guys go to dances at all is becauseof girls. I went to 5 (every year plus the year after I graduated) proms, as well as every Winter Formal and Homecoming whilst giving a grand total of zero ****s about any of them. It's a good chance to do something nice for your lady, or any lady, for that matter. Occassionally I'd ask girls who had trouble getting dates just to help bring them out of their shells a little. The experience could help you two, as well. And don't fret, they understand we were going as firends. Still helps.

Don't worry about dancing, the vast majority of people aren't going to care whether you dance or not, most just stand around talking. If you get compelled into a dance, just holding her and sawaying back and forth is more than enough.

The only caveat is that you don't want to be the couple who sits in the corner like they're about to go on a school shooting spree. You don't have to be the most interesting man in the world or even mingle that much. Just a few friendly greetings, compliments on outfits, etc, you're golden. You may even find yourself wanting to be more bold at future dances, not to mention in school. If not, no problem, you put in an appearance.

As for how to ask her, just ask her. She's an introvert. Worst-case scenario, she's thrilled that somebody else asked her. Middle ground, she's thrilled at the invite but doesn't want to go. Best case, she goes with you. What's to lose?

[Jonno.exe]

Originally posted by B l u e b e r r y P o p t a r t:

Pros - Maybe sex after.
Cons - Going to a dance, can't find a date, wasting money, getting dressed up, ect.

Apparently the term 'childhood friend' and i dont wanna jeapordise our friendship equals sexual relations even though i just wanna go on a date before/after formal.

Originally posted by C4Warr10r:

Then you should go. The main reason guys go to dances at all is becauseof girls. I went to 5 (every year plus the year after I graduated) proms, as well as every Winter Formal and Homecoming whilst giving a grand total of zero ****s about any of them. It's a good chance to do something nice for your lady, or any lady, for that matter. Occassionally I'd ask girls who had trouble getting dates just to help bring them out of their shells a little. The experience could help you two, as well. And don't fret, they understand we were going as firends. Still helps.

Don't worry about dancing, the vast majority of people aren't going to care whether you dance or not, most just stand around talking. If you get compelled into a dance, just holding her and sawaying back and forth is more than enough.

The only caveat is that you don't want to be the couple who sits in the corner like they're about to go on a school shooting spree. You don't have to be the most interesting man in the world or even mingle that much. Just a few friendly greetings, compliments on outfits, etc, you're golden. You may even find yourself wanting to be more bold at future dances, not to mention in school. If not, no problem, you put in an appearance.

As for how to ask her, just ask her. She's an introvert. Worst-case scenario, she's thrilled that somebody else asked her. Middle ground, she's thrilled at the invite but doesn't want to go. Best case, she goes with you. What's to lose?

As helpful as that is, we are both intraverts so i cant exactly go around asking anyone.


UPDATE: I asked her and she said no soz, what do i do now? Convince her to come with me or drop it and keep our friendship (even though i would like more)????

[B l u e b e r r y P o p t a r t]

Originally posted by Jonno:

Originally posted by B l u e b e r r y P o p t a r t:

Pros - Maybe sex after.
Cons - Going to a dance, can't find a date, wasting money, getting dressed up, ect.

Apparently the term 'childhood friend' and i dont wanna jeapordise our friendship equals sexual relations even though i just wanna go on a date before/after formal.

Saying something and doing something are two diffrent things. As I said the same thing when I went to a dance with someone I cared about (and for me I can't date or do anything with someone and still be friends with them after that if they move on to someone eles).

But good luck with that.

[C4Warr10r]

Originally posted by Jonno:

UPDATE: I asked her and she said no soz, what do i do now? Convince her to come with me or drop it and keep our friendship (even though i would like more)????

Don't push it. Some girls like being pushed, others don't, and you haven't said anything to indicate that you know which one she is. If she wants to be friends, be friends. There is no girl who doesn't like an admiring but respectful friend. It may get you friend-zoned, but if that's the worst you do, be thankful.

In the meantime, plenty of others around and you've got no shortage of options. If you want, you can work the system backward. Get a girl that's a friend to agree to go with you, just as buddies, and marvel at how other girls start to take notice. Female brains work that way. They won't say it directly unless you're in deep conversation, but seeing another girl take interest is one of the most attention-grabbing things they know.

That said, I would not recommend going stag. You don't seem the type for it yet. Right now, your best bet is probably to bide your time and look for little ways to endear yourself to others. You help them, they'll usually help you. Build your way up and don't let introversion complicate matters. Everyone likes some time to themselves, and everyone is nervous about approaching others at some point. We're all in the same boat, here.

I'll tell you what, though. If you're bold, thoughtful, and kind, people will warm to you. Not all, you can never please everyone, but you'll attract the right sorts. From there, go ahead and pick the best lady. It's easy, because if you really are kind, their best qualities will shine before you. A word of warning, you may end up loving them for those qualities. Be faithful to one and only one at a time. Everyone changes their minds, people grow and become slightly different, but your fidelity is a quality everyone will honor, regardless of their motives. Even the most corrupt tyrants rely on loyalty.

Of course, that's just one way. Take a little time to think about what you want, how you'd like to be treated, who you'd like to find. Fact of the matter is, it's going to come out one way or another, no man is truly a master of himself, and when it does, you want to make sure you've got that **** pointed in the right direction. You will attract others like you no matter who you are. Not my place or that of anyone else to judge who that is, it is for you and you alone to find out.

[Radene]

I remember my prom. It was fun, and we were more worried about getting hammered together after the formal part than we were about getting dates. I mean, most people were already dating outside the school anyway, so...

[Duck]

Pros - say you did something with your life

Cons - left embarrassed, look weird not dancing, Dane and look weird, sit in the corner and look weird, eat a lot of food and people will think you're a diabetic ♥♥♥♥, don't eat enough food and people will think your anorexic, etc

i have social anxiety disorder, so I might be exaggerating :/

[Jonno.exe]

Originally posted by LoganTNZ | S>UNU:

Pros - say you did something with your life

Cons - left embarrassed, look weird not dancing, Dane and look weird, sit in the corner and look weird, eat a lot of food and people will think you're a diabetic ♥♥♥♥, don't eat enough food and people will think your anorexic, etc

i have social anxiety disorder, so I might be exaggerating :/

This will probably be very realistic for me. If i go solo, i might become an outsider/marginalised as i can only eat or sit down. If i go with someone, it would be nicer and resolve social anxiety/intravert.

So how do i convince a intravert girl to come with me??

[Duck]

Originally posted by Jonno:

Originally posted by LoganTNZ | S>UNU:

Pros - say you did something with your life

Cons - left embarrassed, look weird not dancing, Dane and look weird, sit in the corner and look weird, eat a lot of food and people will think you're a diabetic ♥♥♥♥, don't eat enough food and people will think your anorexic, etc

i have social anxiety disorder, so I might be exaggerating :/

This will probably be very realistic for me. If i go solo, i might become an outsider/marginalised as i can only eat or sit down. If i go with someone, it would be nicer and resolve social anxiety/intravert.

So how do i convince a intravert girl to come with me??

IDK. I struggle talking to anyone in real life :c