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The best bet is to contact your card provider, as they can see the error and (if they are helpful staff) will release the funds and clear the error.
No need to bother with Steam Support, as they'd be unable to help in any case
This is precisely why I said "if they are helpful staff" - some either don't know what they're doing or can't be bothered to help.
When a payment fails in this way, it clearly shows as an error if they checked correctly. It appears at first glance the payment has been made (as this will be the REQUEST for the money), however there is also accompanying data with it which shows whether it is pending, failed or otherwise.
So when a payment fails like this, it should be showing as request made and something akin to "handshake failed" (I forget the exact terminology or code). Sometimes it can correct later on in the day, so this is why it is set aside. Of course, if it doesn't correct, then the funds are freed up after about 3 working days.
I'm sorry, but it seems that the staff you spoke to are unhelpful. There isn't much else you can do except try to speak to another member of staff or wait. I'm afraid Valve can't help you because there's nothing they can do - if the payment didn't go through they can't see it and can't tell you anything, or if it did go through, there's nothing they can do about it either as they can't cancel it - it's already "gone".
Yes, the money will be returned (because it really hasn't left in the first place - it's just been set aside). All online purchasing uses the same method.
Sadly, yes, unless you have funds elsewhere, you will most likely lose out on the offer.
The only thing I can suggest for the future is to find yourself a bank (if possible) and use a bank's debit card - the staff generally are better.