Can't Stand Losing

[JLP8000]

Well, throughout my life, I like to play games. And whenever I lose, I get disappointed. When that happens, I get emotional, mostly I get angry when I lose. Every time I mess up with many games, especially in MOBAs, I get mocked and picked on and get insulted. I absolutely can't stand that.

If there's too much of this for me to handle, I tend to lose it. And by 'it', I mean I lose control with my emotions. I screamed, threw a fit, and go on a rampage, knocking out everything in my path. And it's not just whenever I lose a game, it's practically all the time. I flip out on every little thing. No joke. I even had a huge nightmare about losing so much. My hatred of losing made me feel bitter, and when I had too much anger and rage on me, I became a rage-o-holic beast!

Whenever I get a big losing streak, I've been searching in the game forums, seeking to get help on how to win more, but it didn't come often. I became very impatient and issuing some "threats" to make them talk. But when I do get help, I'd had a hard time following on what I'm supposed to do, and many tips seemed cliched, so I choose not to follow some of them. I was skeptical, yes, that's true, that's because I need some actual proof of how some ideas actually worked.

Also, I became selfish and very stubborn, and my impatience grew bigger and bigger, and when my patience has COMPLETELY ran out, I became as mad as The Incredible Hulk, maybe 10 times as mad. And I put so many comments on the game forums, on a few groups on Facebook, even on Reddit, I was typing lots and lots and LOTS of curse words, cussing them out, and they mostly insult me back, and that made me madder. In fact, I became SO mental, I would even made the Hulk feel like a teddy bear. Anyway, I get into a MASSIVE fit, and when that happens, something... breaks. I broke some walls, I broke some bowls, and I even broke the door.

And that's not the worst part! The worst part is... when someone calls me names that they can't take back, I went into a MAJOR meltdown. I typed the most offensive thing I could think of to them, and they kicked me out for my uncontrollable behavior. I got kicked out in a few clans in SMITE, I got kicked out from a few Facebook groups, and I got permabanned in the League Of Legends forum boards.

Like I said, I don't just flip out of my gaming performance, I get flipped out in just about everything. One time, when I wanted to get something to eat, and someone got the last of it, I rage out. That got me in a bad mood that lasted all day. And, I keep flipping out at every little thing, and I kept at it. I didn't know I went too far with my emotions until my mom pointed it out. And when that happens, I know I went too far. And that's what broke me, not physically, but emotionally. I broke down and cried my eyes out.

The point is, I'm in my 20s and I'm autistic. That's right. I have autism, and when things don't go my way, I lose my temper most of the time, and then I get depressed most of the time. I even thought about committing suicide sometimes. And, I wanted to reach my goal, but it takes too long to accomplish that. Story of my life.

Anyway, I hope I didn't waste any of your time reading all of this, but that's when I've been going on for practically most of my life.

[Wida]

Originalmente postado por JLP8000:

Originalmente postado por Wida:

Sounds like a maturity problem. Would you be a victim of helicopter parenting?

Huh? What's helicopter parenting?

That is where your parents always solve your problems for you and tell you that you are perfect. It causes you to be unable to accept any kind of rejection or loss.

It is quite common today, unfortunately.

[Flaif]

Dont listen to all the people telling you to stop games, if its a hobby of yours, go ahead. I might suggest more single player games, as the ai is usually a little less rage inducing and its little more relaxing with no other players looming over your head. And imo you dont subconsciously want anger or to lose. And no, you dont belong in a mental hospital. Dont listen to the people that say you do, cause you dont, I also suggest talking to some other adults about it, and see if they can help you.

[Quint the Alligator Snapper]

Originalmente postado por Wida:

Originalmente postado por JLP8000:

Huh? What's helicopter parenting?

That is where your parents always solve your problems for you and tell you that you are perfect. It causes you to be unable to accept any kind of rejection or loss.

It is quite common today, unfortunately.

No, "helicopter parenting" refers to an excessive attention to the child.

[RPG Gamer Man]

also, there are some great meditation games on steam. If you prefer them, you are less likely to lose in them as their goals are not winning enabled, so you won't ever feel like losing in them..i suggest trying them.

http://store.steampowered.com/app/61600/

http://store.steampowered.com/app/37290/

These type of games might help you release your tension and anger at losing. I also have this personal game i am going to suggest:

http://store.steampowered.com/app/413150/

There is no losing in this game, but it is goal oriented. It sounds like you focus on goals so stardew valley might be good for you.

[Mafuno]

SPARTA

[Vectif]

Hello,

What I'll tell you probably sounds really cliched and so on, but there's really nothing wrong in losing - and that's what you should change: your view on it.
I never got too upset at games for losing and so on, and I'm terrible at all games; I used to kind of feel like deadweight, annoyance and somewhat dissapointed to myself and the team when I lost, but I figured out something that helped me out a lot; and it was simply not to focus on whether I win or lose. If you win, yeah, that's great! But if you lose, what can you do about it? Figure out how to maybe do it better next time!
If you think of it like in most games, you can't keep on after you finished them (in most singleplayers) other than to repeat them, but - what's the fun in that? You don't just win, it ends. You find the fun in the journey, the experience of playing, understanding, figuring out things and playing around. That's why they're games, you don't necessarily have to win - even though they cheer us for it and all, and old saying I once heard: "They tell us to cherish victory, when only defeat holds all the lessons", and I believe that is a pretty valid point.
After I figured all this out, I had a lot more fun in games, less try-hard and more relaxed, and at least to me it makes me happier and enjoy games more; winning is not bad of course, but neither is losing. Being a good loser is also an important aspect in life.

You may also want to look into fully cooperative games and not just plain PVP (Player Vs Player), I have no issue with the PVEs (Player Vs Enemy) but I'm particularly very fond of cooperative play, I don't like competing and putting people above or below of each other, even if it's the enemy team or my team; and that way the journey is even more fun, but it also depends on the people you play with, and how you yourself play it. But y'know, in taste and colours there are no comrades, we've all got different views and opinions, but, just hope that helps!

Kindest regards,
Nicholas.

[Allgemeine]

Start smoking weed pro tip

[Hei Gui]

Can't stand losing? Git gud princess.