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Basically install steam again over the existing installation.
Can you open the friends menu and see that you are disconnected?
You can also try the latest beta since it fixes lots of friends stuff: https://steamcommunity.com/groups/SteamClientBeta#announcements/detail/1706188320728546746
If nothing works you should always be able to chat with people using a web browser on this link: https://steamcommunity.com/chat/
You confused me because you meant in game friendslist but in not the overlay sense right? like the list of people playing the game in dota 2 or csgo. and not the thing you can see both in the overlay and when not playing a game? Two friend different places where the friend list shows up but only one "updated".
If you played a singleplayer game it would be a different story right?
Lets ignore the friend lists that shows up in the menus for games for now, focus on the new one.
You can revert to old chat while you wait for a solution, just read this: https://steamcommunity.com/discussions/forum/1/1762481957306210604/
You can also make a copy of the shortcut old shortcut so you can go back and see if got fixed working.
I bet this shortcut to old chat will stop working at some point, probably when valve thinks all the bugs are fixed. This is why you should report this bug so they are aware and can fix it.
If you used the beta then report the bug here: https://steamcommunity.com/groups/SteamClientBeta/discussions/0/864957817327818370/