Share Your Most Funniest/ Bizarre Stories.

[PurpleBeast]

Even though i never played the game, it exciting to hear them all the time

[Googley Eye'd Bastard]

Not the most exciting but I traded a female grizzly from the elves near the start of a fort, she works great at destroying any thieves that get smart at my fortress but she literally rips them apart limb by limb.

Now the funny part is that I have an infestation of unicorns who wander around my map, I have no problem with them because they usually just run away from my dwarves but my grizzly just doesn't like them. She usually ends up chasing them getting a few scratches in but the unicorns are too fast and charge and knock her over until she gets sick and vomits all over the floor and comes back home inside my walls.

[Elysian]

Hm. Nothing too big so far on the steam version. Oh, I had a child snatcher appear in my fort so I mobilized a squad of crack troops armed with steel armor and weapons to kill him. So the snatcher ran from ten very angry dwarves probably cursing up a storm about how they were going to kill him for trying to take a kid. The snatcher ran and ran and finally ran through a door... into the room where I kept all my war hounds. He was quickly ripped apart by about a dozen very hungry dogs.

Another instance I had breached the cavern early since, I was in a glacier area, I had no way to really grow food. So I dug into there, picked a good spot and quickly walled it off as I didn't have an army yet to protect the place. Before the walling was done however a couple elk birds managed to get into my fort. Now they are not really hostile unless you have dwarves and such constantly bumping into them so they would wind up in constant fights with my war dogs. Finally, out of complete annoyance while I got my arms industry up and running I walled in the two elk birds with one of my war hounds (that part was an accident) into a hallway I had dug out but wasn't using. And over the next six or so months they had never ending fights in there, injuring each other but never managing to kill one another. It went on so long that it turned out the hound was pregnant and she gave birth to puppies inside there and they joined in the fights too. I wound up forgetting about them for awhile tbh and then, when I remembered, I opened up the hall with some marksdwarves with kill orders on the other side waiting.

[The Former]

Just the time the cat walked into the middle of a duel and got sent.

https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2900144344

The commander was sparring with my spear dwarf. It was a common ritual for the two of them. They were the most skilled fighters I had and frequently tested eachother in training.

Then I saw this “The Cat is sparring” notification.

Turns out the cat got roped in by walked into the middle of it while the commander was charging and getting kicked over. It bailed real fast after that.

[Elysian]

Originally posted by Ni Sam Bith:

Just the time the cat walked into the middle of a duel and got sent.

https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2900144344

The commander was sparring with my spear dwarf. It was a common ritual for the two of them. They were the most skilled fighters I had and frequently tested eachother in training.

Then I saw this “The Cat is sparring” notification.

Turns out the cat got roped in by walked into the middle of it while the commander was charging and getting kicked over. It bailed real fast after that.

That is actually pretty funny.

[Thom293]

I have a female bard that dual wields a limestone and a bone figurine and has 4 kills with them. She is not in the military.

I had the king move in. All the barons and counts come to my tavern to celebrate. Then 2 people turned into werebeasts and started slaying the party. Then the necromancer visitor started raising the corpses.... 13 dead nobles and poets later....

[Nomus]

I built a fortress near necromancer layer which I didn't know about. I had a fellow undead damned hunter visiting me for a year. Then he and his undead friends invaded me and I had to retire a fortress. I embarked again on the same location and in the first year same guy invaded me after spying in my fortress for a year. Also I had necromancers visiting my fortress very often. Finally I had an invasion of 4 skilled damned undead and 5 undead goblins. I managed to lure goblins in a corridor where I dealt with them hunter however were too op for my dwarfs but after they saw me dealing with their goblins they ran away.

2 years later under constant visits from necromancers at the edge of the map they finally invaded again - 1 necromancer lead the army of 5 damned hunter commanders who controlled around 10-15 undead creatures such as goblins and bunch of undead dwarfs as a cannon fodder. By that time I had a bunch of legendary hammer dwarfs and a system of bridges that help me to separate the enemy army into 3 parts by lowering the bridge.

Finally my dwarves run out and dealt with the necromancer an cannon fodder undeads first. Then they beat the hell out of 5 elite undead dwarves. We lost a bunch of cattle and one recruit that day. It felt like a story of good finally defeating evil after 2 days of playing and being under constant threat of overpowered undead invasion. Like the final episodes of Game of Thrones but very satisfying, gory and well written.

I also saw at least 2 other necromancers lurking around so I'm preparing for the part 2.